That is an interesting question.
Well there is a lot of dating fraud. And this is a set up for a guaranteed let down. I thought trans where all about being their true self so I personally would expect one of them to be more open, brave and honest. With all that said I can't tell you what one should do. But seems to be a wiser choice to be forward. There are people who are looking for trans.
Telling the guy individually would depend on when that info came out in the dialog. Does not matter if trans, woman, or guy I would hope any important reveal would be early. If rejected, would want a hasty retreat instead of an explosion for wasting their time. If you are going to be rejected get it over quick.
As for rejection this is why you want it over quick. Rejection is nothing. I ask a girl out and she says no. so what happened? Nothing. Nothing changed. I am right where I started. So since rejection is nothing you are going no where. Get that over quick. Or spend a long time going nowhere.
Personally think someone if they haven't already should make a LGBT dating app that's a safe place for lGBT people can meet and feel comfortable and honest with who they with people who can except them for who they are. The only thing that worries me is if that kind of thing getting out to the wrong people. People who want to hurt the LGBT people for example. It's already extremely dangerous for them out there especially trans people. I've read some heart braking stories. I really do support the trans lifes matters movement even though it's not the one the media cares about it's gone on for too long and these people deserve to feel just as safe as everyone else does
I don't think, in general, that a man needs to know immediately that you are a post op transwoman. What if the date goes South and you never see each other again? Then what was the point of revealing such personal information.
Ultimately, it is up to you. If you want it out there for everyone to know, then post it. If you'd rather wait a date or two, which I think is completely appropriate, then do that.
I think it's similar to waiting to tell someone you have young children. If the two of you don't have a connection, what's the point of revealing such personal matters immediately. If someone doesn't understand this, you were never going to click anyway.
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Hmm. Hard to say.
Like personally I have little issue dating a trans woman who is post-op, but she would have to be post-op. In fact, I'd say I'm probably bisexual in everything but the genitals. So knowing if she is pre-op or post-op would be important.
So ideally, she would just have her op status posted on her profile directly. But I know that's a very personal thing to just splatter across your dating profile, and probably invites a lot of unsavory messages.
So sorry if it isn't a defined answer. Just giving a perspective as someone open to dating trans people.
My view on this often depends on the context and when the actual information will be told.
there is no reason to put it in a profile if the plan is to tell an individual who you get chatting to.
At some point it does need to be covered off, the sooner you do that with an individual the better.
what you need to avoid is the shock side of things, irrespective of what is being said in places here, guys look at a lot of trans and see a feminine girl, basically they see tits n an ass, there is that physical attraction. They will then be shocked (at varying levels) when they find out the tits n ass belong to a trans, it’s that level of shock that needs managing.
i was out at weekend and my friend (trans) had two of her trans friends with her, other guys in the pub flirted with both girls.
short version, profile no, however bring it up soon as possible to reduce shock, as it’s shock that causes that big burst of anger.
In my mind is a very weird situation for everyone involved. On one hand, like you said, it's a personal thing, so she doesn't have a reason to publicly expose herself as a post-op woman. On the other hand, the guy is a variable, since we can't know if he's ok with her not having a female reproductive system, or if he's more traditional. The other problem is, how long would she take to tell him? On the first date, because some people have the need to fuck on the first date? Or the third, because it's almost expected for some reason? Would it be brought up only before sex?
Personally I'd like it if I knew beforehand. I somewhat see it as a sexual orientation.
I'd just tell them at the first date.
I plan to tell anyone I date on the first date that I'm childfree and bisexual.
If that freaks someone out enough to not date me, I'd rather get it outta the way on the first date. Save both our time.
I wouldn't suggest putting it on a dating profile, though. I also won't put bi on mine. It attracts fetishists, homophobes, and TERFs.
I guess If someone feels like it's a personal topic then I guess they don't have to be forced to announce it publicly but as long as the person knows before things get serious, I think it should be mentioned on the introduction tho so neither one wastes their time, because if the guy doesn't feel comfortable he wastes his time and it will most likely end which will waste the other person's time as well, it's best to mention it somewhere in the beginning
She should definitely disclose it on her dating profile. That way, she can attract guys who are okay with trans-women. It will limit her potential pool of suitors, but it will increase her chances of finding a suitable one. And it will prevent some very awkward and even dangerous encounters.
It seems really unfair to string guys along who are in no way into trans-women. Some guys would feel like they had been tricked.
The thing is, trans-women are not women and they need to be honest about that with themselves and others. They should feel good about themselves, but they should also respect others and only pursue relationships with like-minded guys.
For me, a woman's personality would never make up for the fact that she wasn't a genuine female.
A gay guy has no right to think straight guys are obligated to be open to a homosexual encounter, and a trans-women has no right to expect a guy to think of her as female.
I would suggest either putting it in the dating profile or at least bringing it up in the initial conversation. I don’t know how easy or difficult dating is as trans, and it’s an awkward conversation for sure, but there is realistically no up-side to waiting until someone is either invested or it’s gotten to an intimate level that could become a dangerous situation.
ideally it would be helpful to know the person was trans early on. so if they rather not add it to their profile then wise to talk about it when they meetup. since not many guys would be happy to find that out afterwards. even more so if their looking for a partner to start a family with in the future.
but due to talking with some trans-women in person. many can be more feminine and/or more traditionally ladylike then many modern cis girls I've meet. likely because they understand how the average male brain works better for what they desire in a partner.
could also explain why many of the homosexual male couples I've talked to barely fight or breakup.
Needs to be on the profile. Any other answer IS wrong. If a man is trying to live as a woman, that should be known upfront so no time is wasted. Straight men do not want to date other men and it is a deception to hide this fact and let ANY time get invested. Yes, this may narrow down your options, but those would be your real options and the guys who are not cool with a trans would be very angry and possibly even violent if they have to find out after investing any time into a relationship. ALL relationships thrive on honesty and get destroyed by deception.
Disclosing individually I'd say is fine, as least before he goes to meet her in person. Doesn't need to be on the page for all to see, but he still might think he wasted a bunch of time to get to the point of talking and however long that takes to deciding to meet before she tells him.
The sooner the better I'd say, even if not on the page for all to see.
Either one works. If someone just really doesn't wanna share that info early on then they could maybe ask the other person what their dealbreakers are, to see if being trans would be one of them. I think most people who aren't okay with it would say it's a deal breaker if questioned, or if it comes up would be very clear about their stance, even without knowing they are talking to a trans person.
I've accidentally hit on tgirls. I suggest not putting it on your profile, but recommend you tell him early on to avoid disappointment after you've invested youe time and energy. If he's not interested, he'll be OK if you tell him early.
you know you wouldn't be the first transsexual beaten to death by some one who was suprized by the chick that just sucked his dick was actually a dude. At least being up front you are not potentially setting your self up for failure... or even worse. violence. While I might not agree with trans-gals playing female sports I don't want to see any of you get hurt either, so use your head.
Tell up front on the profile so nobody wastes their time if it would be a deal breaker for them.
That is the sort of thing that should be made crystal clear in a profile. Some people might not react too gently to being deceived like that and those who are OK with such a thing won’t be deterred, so there’s no reason not to be upfront about it. It’s best to filter out those who aren’t OK with it.
For the sake of safety and not wasting someone's time, be upfront - place it in the profile so single people know upfront.
Better yet, if they haven't already - do you know how you can select the gender on those dating sites/apps before you search? They should make a 3rd/4th gender option for trans men/women specifically, so that way it's clear because you're searching for them.
Just my take.
I feel that if it dose have an effect (like there is parts that someone may assume are there and are not or the outher way) it shuld be on the profile
If it has no effect beside the history depends on them and what they want to share as then it only effects if someone care about the past not the current
Trans or not, ALWAYS meet in a public place, NEVER go at night and DO consider bringing a friend, and let people in your household know where you are going.
Online stuff creeps me out, could be absolutely anyone.
The guy deserves to know so that he can choose, not telling him Robs him of choice. Many may think otherwise but not making one aware definitely can have consequences. If it's something you must omit or keep quiet perhaps you shouldn't commit to it anyways
I don't think you should have to tell anyone if you're not comfortable doing so.
