Boss wants to sleep with me, told my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I we've been together for two years. He knows that I work long hours and value my career. Recently. I got approached by a guy at work who is very high on hierarchy who basically offered me a job- he'll be my boss if I accept. In the past, he tried to flirt and asked me out, which I rejected. Now he comes with an offer for a job and went above and beyond to make sure I'd get the job. Basically he's the one deciding who to hire. He also tells me that I am capable but I am certain of his intentions and why he wants me so badly to get the job. I told my boyfriend about this and that I spent lots of time with him in the office. He thinks I should take the job cause I worked so hard for this and I deserve the promotion. I dont know if he's jealous, he just told me to be careful with him and not spend time outside the office. Already asked me to go for a drink and my position is very delicate cause I want the job. My boyfriend thinks he's a creeper but doesn't think he'll try anything. Lately, my boyfriend started checking on me asking me where I've been, if I am going out and with whom, questions that he wasn't asking me in the past. Still says he's not jealous just interested on my whereabouts. My friends told I shouldn't have told him about this guy cause I made him insecure and no guy would like his girlfriend's boss to hit on her, and that now he'll overthink if I'd cheat on him with my boss. How to best approach this?

Updates

+1 y

my colleagues at work already talking bad about me & saying that the only reason I'd get is because I slept with the boss & that they could tell I was going for the big fish male bosses from the start.

[ohshee]

Sometimes it really sucks to be honest doesn't it because you're being honest and feeling your boyfriend that's one strike and then the people at your work jealous because it's probably what you look like and how you're treated that's two strikes so somewhere somehow somebody will add one more strike and you'll have to start someplace all over again

So you're kind of in a very bad position because what your boyfriend thinks or might think and all you have to do is be nice to your boss one time and in his head he's going to think that means something so he's going to go for it so you really going to miss that place because even though it's all in your control none of it's in your control because everybody has an opinion and they all think that they're right because they think it is the worst position to be in ever

Because I see you as a fighter to get what you want and at the same time you want your boyfriend to believe in you then you want your boss to leave you alone I would see one way out of it and this is so bold it's unreal and I know you can't do this but it's too bad you can't did you need to stand up in the office to take you guys want to hear something funny I'm really good at what I do as you can see I was promoted for what I can do but I have a problem I like being honest so I told my boyfriend what I feel is going on at work that made him insecure I don't know if my boss is taking my kindness for something else because now there's a rumor about me and him now I would appreciate it if you think something you asked me instead of starting rumors about it I am happily engaged with my boyfriend I would do nothing to destroy that I'm here to do a job just like the rest of you if you need somebody to pick on are you need somebody to talk about please find somebody else I don't have time for this in my life
And if your boss is standing right there I would say that goes for you too if you hired me for all the wrong reasons you need to let me know now because it's not going to go that way

[Whatever2929292]

Well good for you. You need to file a report to HR about this. Creepy ass people you work with I am sure you were creeped out. There isn't anything wrong with asking someone out that is not trying to have sex with someone.

Asking a person out is NOT asking you to sleep with them though. But do you know what is illegal? Telling you that you must sleep with him in order to get a job. Having sex with someone for a exchange of a good and/or service is a CRIME a crime that is called prostitution.

So HR, lawyer up, and file a police report. That guy is a piece of shit and if you work hard and are good at your job THAT is why you are getting promoted. If he is saying "sleep with me and you get a raise" that to me is disgusting.

With that being said if you are not doing anything immoral, unethical, and/or illegal to be getting your promotion then there is nothing wrong with it and idiots can shut the fuck up. They don't have a right to defame, slander, and/or libel you that is good for a good court case.

Asking you on a date or for a drink though is not the same as wanting sex. If he is saying sexual stuff or can't take no for a answer then you have a major problem on your hands.

If people are saying you slept with someone for a job and you honest to God did not. Then they are defaming you.

[Whatever2929292]

With all that say as long as he is not making anymore moves on you and once again asking you out is not the same as asking you for sex.

Then take the job. If people talk or your boyfriend is jumping to the wrong concussions and there isn't any trust in your relationship and he accuses you of cheating when you aren't. Now if you are cheating... Then he has good reason to be worried.

Maybe you will need to get a new boyfriend then if he can't trust you even though you love him and would never even think about doing something like that.

I am sure that it hurts. That you can't talk with him openly. You told him another man was hitting on you. You did not hide it from him.

Take the job. As long as he is not trying to sleep with you and he has taken no for a answer and is not hitting on you romantically or sexualy then take the job

[1GoldTwins]

I would have told him too. If anything else came up I would tell my boyfriend. I'll record things so I can get him fired.

[Alexis1313]

Record it and get a netflix deal, it sounds like good TV.

[Alexis1313]

In all seriousness, go out for one drink with him, play some bullshit.

Get the job, and then be totally platonic, once you get the job, he can't fire you for BS means.

Lots of investigations and shit go into that.

[Alexis1313]

You could also let him know you have a boyfriend if you haven't already.

[PastorJohn69]

No... that's all bad from the start and will only become worse.
That is a train wreck in the making and at least of of two things happening is a guarantee.
He will come at you and if you don't snap on him for it, he will try again and again.
He will try until you tell HR, or you give in.
Ultimately your job will be gone one day.
Money back guarantee

[Chris_7565]

I guess all you can do is try to imagine the situation if the roles were reversed, and it was your boyfriend working closely with a female boss. She promoted him just to hit on him. You would likely be frustrated and concerned. It would be helpful if he went above and beyond to check in with you, be home on time, and show you that you're the only woman he wants. He should answer any questions and be fully transparent about the situation so you can feel reassured right?

[Asker]

I am doing all this. I reassure him and always reaching out. Not sure if that helps put him at ease. Since yesterday he's kind of ignoring me or maybe just busy and I connect to him being hurt or frustrated. He hasn't expressed anything like that. I left him a text asking how was his day but didn't reply for couple of hours. Don't want to call and overwhelm him cause everything might alright and I create the trouble by thinking he has an issue with the whole thing. he's been very supportive of me applying even reviewed my cover letter.

[Chris_7565]

I guess it's best to just leave it alone for now, but also understand that it's a delicate situation.
Loyalty in relationships is something very valuable and it can also easily be destroyed by partners allowing themselves to be around constant temptations.
That's how many, many, many affairs happen.
Just try to be understanding towards your partner if he starts to get frustrated with the situation.

[Asker]

I did give him a call cause I care how he's been. But yes I'd let it be for now. When he's available or wants to talk he'll call me back. Just want to make sure he knows that I love him and I'm there for him.

[Chris_7565]

That's sweet. 🙂

[Asker]

Really? I thought it was a bit too much to text and call but I did now so not gonna think about it anymore and let him reach out when he's ready

[Chris_7565]

I can't speak for your boyfriend but it's sweet from my perspective.
i had an ex who got hit on all the time. I was never the jealous type in my marriage, but we didn't have good communication either, and I would've definitely appreciated my partner reminding me that she's thinking about me. Sometimes that means a lot.

[Anonymous]

Have you accepted it yet? How are you "certain" of his intentions?

If you haven't accepted it yet, I would have a meeting with this (potential) boss, tell him you appreciate all he's done and you'd very much like the job, however this would make your relationship boss-employee (professional) and that's how it would stay... professional. And he would need to respect that.

[Twalli]

If the boss decides if you remain employed or not and if you have to sleep with him or date him ti get that job, then go to HR because that's borderline rape. If he's just flirting and you don't need to do anything sexual or romantic, take the job and keep him at arms length

[soe11]

My sincere advice is shouldn't be taking the position, now you have one way that is left the job and appointment in others companies.
If really love your boyfriend, otherwise speak openly your boyfriend ending relationship.

[Pyrofox]

If I were your boyfriend I'd dump the rest of the years rent and be out.

[Asker]

I didn't do anything wrong

[SeekingVirginWife]

I am your boss reading this, you are fired if you don't get back to work right now.

[Asker]

nice one! :D

[exitseven]

Give him a little slack about this but also reassure him that you are not seeing this guy outside the office. He will get over it.

[Anonymous]

Quit that job today! You and everybody lse eserves better!!!

[Luckycharms12]

Your boss is dick and will not stop hitting on you. Ya don't drink with him or go out with him outside work

[PastorJohn69]

No never. He is not your nor will he ever be... sleep with him eventually loose jod and boyfriend... don't sleep with him and your job will be list in whatever manner his slimy as will devise. He will fuck one day no matter the decision, except one... don't work for him..
I've seen a million bottom feeders just like him and at the end of the day, only thing he cares about is his gratification.
That ranks even over himself.

[Luckycharms12]

True

[lofii]

It's too late

Your boyfriend might pull up with a glock and shoot his cock

[Anonymous]

sexual harrassment lawsuit