If your kid can’t even walk or talk yet, do you think its too soon to be out trying to date someone?

[DizzyDesii]

I feel this will be an unpopular opinion, so I’m not expecting an echo chamber lmao. Bt i truly feel that if your kid hasn't learned how to at least walk, talk, and isn't potty trained yet, you shouldn’t be out trying to date. Like you should be at home teaching them the basics before going out tryna get your rocks off. Thats just how I feel 🤷‍♀️ People will do as they please, but I personally wouldn’t date anyone who had a kid thats still so damn recent. Thats why I said, the dude’s kid needs to be at least going on age 3+. Shit even when I adopt after having at least one bio kid, I’m going to adopt the others age 3+. I don’t wanna go through the shitty diapers and puke on my shoulder years again lmao.
#FeelFreeToList #WalkItLikeITalkIt

[Avicenna]

I definitely agree that you should NOT date while the child is small. I can tell you from personal experience that you're going to want to spend lots of time with your child when they're small and it's beneficial for their development.

[DizzyDesii]

Right on

[Avicenna]

Thanks for the mho

[Sparkie460]

At that point it you should be home with the child. You don't want to miss his firsts

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly! And omg that would suck missing the firsts

[Sparkie460]

Yes it does. I missed my son's first step and word

[DizzyDesii]

Damn were you at work or something? Cause i even saved up to skip the first 1-2 years of work once i have a kid

[Sparkie460]

Yes I was working. I had no choice but to work

[DizzyDesii]

Was it a surprise baby

[Sparkie460]

No my daughter and first son were surprises, my second son was planned

[Sparkie460]

Thank you for the mho

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

Good question, If I was a mother in that scenario, I would not let the age of my child prevent me from dating during that phase. Since although I would understand that being a parent is a full time job. I would do my best to ensure that it does not become my full identity and one of the many ways to make sure of this, for me, would be to try and keep up with my hobbies, hang out with friends, and date where time allows. I feel this would allow help alleviate any potential bitterness I may have towards my child once they finally get to the phase where they can talk and think for themselves and start acting out.

[DizzyDesii]

But even a full time job is like 9-5. You still get time to do other stuff

[kellytheman]

I agree your kid should be first and be there for the development stages. I think would the child begins to speak and walk around and kinda start understanding the world then maybe start dating while the child is with the other parent or grandparents.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[ariadneR]

Definitely agree.
Besides where would I find the time to date. Like fr. If they can't walk or talk yet, where is this magical free time coming from

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly

[Jammaa]

Well I don't think anyone should be making dating their main priority but if somehow a guy can show me that he's honest and fun to be around without going on dates then why not? I don't know how low the odds of that are but maybe he could be a neighbor or a guy who works at a store I go to often

[DizzyDesii]

Yea the prob is that most would nake it a main priority over their kid

[Aerissa_Jade]

Not really, chances are if someone is dating and they have a new kid that they won't be telling anyone unless they get real serious.

I do think it is too soon to get serious with someone though, but simply going out on casual dates to hang out now, not a big deal.

The child should be the priority though but you'll hear a lot of mothers complain they can't just spend 24/7 with the kid, they need adult conversations and interactions on a social level.

[DizzyDesii]

Im hearing more men than women complain about that atm. Also, i’d want to know they have a kid by day 1 or 2

[jahaims]

If for whatever reason I became a single parent I wouldn't date until they were in their teens and a bit more independent. When I chose to have kids I chose to make them a priority.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d definitely make them a priority but waiting til they are teens is almost too long lmao

[snackthatsmilesback]

I don't know don't don't think dating takes up that much time like 1 night a week for a couple hours ain't bad. And if you don't wanna spend any time away just say hey I got a baby so if you wanna date were gonna have to work around it. Have a movie night at home. Go to the park with the baby. Etc. There are ways you can do both.

[DizzyDesii]

Of course you can still have a life. I just dont see why you need a whole lot of free time if you’re new to parenting. Relationships need quality time as well and its best if you at least get the hang of one task before trying to add on another

[snackthatsmilesback]

That's fair but starting a new relationship isn't just for yourself when you have a baby either. You also want your kid to have good relationship*s* and early development is the most affected by both parental figures. But obviously you can't just "get a new dad," it has to start with just a chance with dating. And you have to be ready to date yourself, and be able to date with a baby, so yeah definitely not everybody should. But if someone wants to for themself and their family, and they can, then why shouldn't they?

[DizzyDesii]

They can. I just feel different on the matter. Like I bond well with preschoolers. I like teaching them to read, write and dance. But when it comes to the basics like how to walk and talk, those are things their parents shouldve taught them already

[snackthatsmilesback]

Ok fair enough. To each their own.

[Johnnyroyyall]

Not really, never bring you people around your kid anyway at least not for a while they could not be walking or talking they can stay with Grandma or grandpa or aunt and uncle or whatever you know you shouldn't put your life on stop just because you had a baby you know. And if that's the case obviously the man didn't work out so a lot deadbeat dads out there.

[DizzyDesii]

Im not saying pt your life on hold. Im just saying teach the kid the basics before turning your attention elsewhere

[WindAtMyBack]

I don't see a problem with them getting out every now and then. Parents need to keep their sanity somehow. Being on duty literally 60/60/24/7 is tiring.

By every now and then I mean once every 3-4 weeks or so. No harm in that.

[DizzyDesii]

Of course you can get out and about. Bt im saying some people go instahoeing soon as the kid is born rather than acting as a parent

[michael1469]

I only had girls over after my daughter went to bed and made them leave right after or before she woke up. As she got older, the play dates for kids were me watching kids outside while I was inside w girlfriend door locked...

Sorry but could give up sex.

[DizzyDesii]

Makes sense

[Hans222]

I guess that as long as you're open to those you date about being a young parent, there's no problem.
That is, of course, if you find a solution for the kid during the date...

[DizzyDesii]

I guess

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I never learned to walk, and yet my mother still dates men even now.
I should tell her how irresponsible of her is that.

[DizzyDesii]

You can't walk?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Not properly, no.
I need crutches most of the time, or a cane in good days.

[JustinTheGreat]

I agree with you but it’s also hypocritical for me to say that considering I started dating my husband when my daughters mother was still pregnant with her 💀

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao

[Anpu23]

Eh children are important but so is being an adult. Going out and partying every night isn't good but having a parent or your ex watch the kid for one date isn't a bad thing.

[DizzyDesii]

Its not bad but it also depends on your intentions and if you want that person in your kids life

[silkjames]

Yes it's too soon and plus I'm very protective of my kid she a teenager now and trained her how too kick ass lol but Nomatter how old she is I will always protect her im her dad it's my job🥰!

[DizzyDesii]

Aww haha

[SmokyOne]

I see what you're saying and I partially agree.
Too soon to date seriously? Yes.
To soon to get your rocks off? Hell no. Kids have bedtime for a reason

[DizzyDesii]

And i remember now why i hated my moms boyfriends

[SmokyOne]

It's so hard being a kid...

[melanieeeB]

I agree with that statement, with your previous question I had a kid aged 10 in my head haha

[DizzyDesii]

Lol it wasn't directed at you though haha

[DevinAM]

Not necessarily, if you can manage to teach your child & you want something serious, then when they're young seems like the best time because if you trust the person you're dating they can help raise the child.

[DizzyDesii]

Maybe down the line

[DevinAM]

Yeah, trust is the hard part.

[CaptainLegal]

Yeah I wanna raise my kid myself. When my kid becomes like 9-10 years old I might consider dating again.

[DizzyDesii]

Not bad

[Loveisgirthy]

Fair point. I think eventually I'd even let her help the process of teaching so I mean it could add some spice if I had to.

[DizzyDesii]

I mean it could help her in being the mother figure yea

[Loveisgirthy]

Exactly, nothing wrong with that and in that situation I'd prefer someone who would do stuff like that to help as well as bond with my kid. It'd turn me right on for sure too. It's all inclusively benefitial/ dream scenerio for that portion of my life.

[DizzyDesii]

I bond well with preschoolers. I like teaching them to read and write and dance. But like walking and talking should be left up to the parent itself

[Loveisgirthy]

I mean fairly so, yeah and I get there's a level of imprinting from the parent that is important in that, but I'd still let her do what comes naturally that I'd agree with and after months into the dating. I wouldn't let her just take over my child's raising. There's a process of trust and natural feeling she'll be put through first of course before it's truly just as much her as it is me doing those things.