Is there something wrong with me that I’m not in a relationship?

[FictionalCharacter]

Right now I feel lonely and I’m questioning if I REALLY want a relationship or not.

I’m thinking how I see men in public and how I see myself.

I’ve never seen a guy in public that drew me to him. I just see guys with girlfriends or a guy with his group of friends and I think I’m this unattractive or invisible girl that just wants to buy a item that will hopefully make my day better.

I also think guys just want attractive/nice girls. Something I’m obviously not. I’m not attractive and I’m not nice. I’m fair. I don’t like putting up a fake front and pretending to be nice to land a guy.

I just want someone to mesh with my personality. Which is hard to find.

I also have this routine (from being single too long). That I like everything clean and I want my space.

[alderoth]

Okay, I hope you stop downing yourself as not attractive. Everyone is attractive to someone. Don't ever think you aren't. Secondly it sounds like you are sort of enjoying your alone time. Yes, you may want a companion every once in a while, but it doesn't sound like you want a full on relationship. Just a... Well, friend with benefits, even if the only benefit is some cuddles, and watching a movie together, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting just that.

It does get frustrating seeing everyone else APPEAR happy in their relationships, but real relationships are hard. They are full of bad days, disagreements, and forgiveness that hopefully both people have. It's work, It's real work, so I think you might be liking the "idea" of having someone, but you know whole-heartedly that it takes more than just the want, and desire, to have a relationship, and that's a good thing.

If the thing you want to buy isn't emptying your bank account, and it will definitely bring you joy, then go for it. There is nothing wrong with treating yourself. Also, there is nothing saying that you NEED a relationship, other than your brain. They are not required in order to exist, and they are not required in order to be social with other's. So it's okay to like the romantic idea of a relationship, but don't let that idea grow into a false need.

Lastly, are you sure the need for extreme cleanliness is from being single for so long? Sounds like you are very hard on yourself with just the relationship stuff. Could you possibly be too hard on yourself in other areas as well? Like, if if you spilled a drink, and immediately wiped it up with a paper towel, do you get mad at yourself and say, "I need to mop. The paper towel just isn't enough, I need to mop, I'm so stupid!" If you do that, you could be sort of training yourself to expect certain things, a higher standard if you will. Which, if you get into a relationship, and they don't match that intensity, or wavelength, it could end just as fast as it began. Simply because you have convinced yourself that things need to be a certain way.

Anyway, I hope you get to feeling better, and someone magical does come along for you, when you are ready for it. Love is a great thing when it naturally enters our lives. Take care!!

[Ευδεμονια]

I think it’s humane to want a relationship, for feeling loved and give love. I think I kinda know how you feel, but from a male side, since I never have been engaged, I had only rejections despite my attempts, that brought me to think I had something wrong. I think basically everyone has its strengths and weaknesses and has to accept them because we can’t change everything of us.

I think you can do a thing, instead of waiting for a man to ask you out, you can try to talk and ask someone out. I know you’re thinking “you seem make it easy but it isn’t”. I know it isn’t easy and it requires courage, but if you want to make your life moving, you’ll have to do like this. Plus, today is social acceptable for a woman to make first steps, so you won’t be blamed for this.
I suggest you to take some hobbies or sports that can make you be in contact with other people, maybe there you can find someone to ask out.

[Loth2770]

You like everything clean and you want your space? You want someone that meshes with your personality, but can’t seem to find it?
Sounds an awful lot like me.

I think it’s good you are questioning whether or not you need a relationship. Thinking is good. You need to be both patient and proactive. Recognize that what you want is special kind of person, and pursue it as such. Be constantly on the lookout, and be prepared for disappointment. If you seek you will eventually find who you are looking for, and the long journey will have made it all the more worthwhile.

[WhyMe247]

Nah, nothing wrong with being single; hell I’ve been that way for eight years this September. I do have kids but I enjoy my freedom! I’ve been alone so long that I don’t know if I can have a partner again. I mean, I want one but at the same time, I can’t let go of my freedom lol. I love the notion no one is telling what I can and can’t buy, I don’t have a “honey-do-list, I can listen to what I want in the car, I can watch whatever I want on tv, play games on my iPad for as long as I want, etc. It does get lonely at night, but that’s what pets are for! I love my orange cat 🐈 and my bicolor bobtail.

[DiegoO]

You can think whatever you want. Go for what makes you happy. A relationship is to share your happiness, is not to find happiness. Ask yourself if you are capable to share your life and happiness with someone and that if you are capable of receiving a positive feedback from that type of relationship dynamic.

[Cobby_Gh]

Just be patience, you will find not just one but the one that will love you whole heartedly. Never mind about seeing other in relationship, some are in hell and others don’t even have peace of mind. Others too, their partner keeps cheating and all that. But some too are very good. So just be patience and pray, you will get your better half.

[Nahid1707]

No, you’ll find love