(19F) Is my height the reason guys don't approach me?

Question

I'm 5'10. I've never been approached, or had a boyfriend, or had sex. I'm certainly not ugly, I dress well, and I have good hygeine. I've been out with guys before. Shorter and taller it doesn't matter, I'm a personality gal. Every time except for once (as a rebound to make his ex jealous) I've been the one to ask them out in one way or another. I try not to generalize myself but more and more I'm noticing that neither me or my tall friends ever seem to get dates. A good friend of mine is 5'11, junior in college, absolutely stunning the minute I met her and she never gets asked out. Another good friend of mine is 5'10, absolutely beautiful, pretty eyes, and a great personality, and always gets rejected and questions if she's ugly because of it. I notice that every tall girl I've ever met has a certain "fowardness" & "independent spirit" about them if that makes sense. I think it's the idea that we can "take on" whoever we're dealing with and I'm wondering if maybe that's the reason. Like I hardly every see a tall man with a tall woman, they usually settle for a girl under 5'6. I think that maybe most men are just designed to protect in order to feel needed and biologically that's what they like more.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

"Shorter and taller it doesn't matter, I'm a personality gal."

There's your problem, right there. No one believes that for one bit. Short and tall women want a guy at least six feet tall. The taller the woman, the more likely it is she'll be less accepting of short men (under six feet).

MEN, on the other hand, don't care about height as long as women don't make OUR own height a dealbreaker. But they almost always do. I've had SO much depression and sh*t thrown my way because just about every single woman I talked to, rejected me for being too short for her (I'm only 180 cm). They all wanted "six feet and taller." Not someone they're eye-to-eye with in heels. I legit gave up dating because I got sick of being crapped on by women for being physically unattractive in their eyes.

If you were a 5'10" girl and willing to date a guy who you towered over in heels simply based on personality and "height did not matter" to you one bit, then I'd KILL to meet you in real life! Besides my one late partner, who was 6'3.5"/191 cm, I've NEVER met women who actually preferred to "downgrade" on a man. 5'2" girls want men over six feet and 5'9" girls want men over six feet. Me being in the "Women and Children's" zone of human size, I got sick of this issue that I bowed out. Women like you never existed where I came from (the northeast USA), besides my one partner from Maryland.

TL;DR Version:
No, it's not your height that's the problem between you and your two tall female friends; it's the high likelihood that you (and any other women) only want men over six feet. Guys don't care about height. Girls CARE A WHOLE LOT!

(19F) Is my height the reason guys don't approach me?

I just talked to @Ms_Facesitter, who is Goddess-sized and has all the luck in the world on this issue. Maybe ask her if she has "a certain forwardness & independent spirit, since she makes even you look tiny (and apparently *claims* any guy 5'9" and over is 'good' in her eyes).

Man-O-Metal · Accepted Answer

I’m 5’9”, and I personally prefer shorter girls. Mainly because I like the idea of her reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck when looking into my eyes. Now with that being said, I have found many girls taller than myself to be very attractive. But, the reason I never approached them is because it was a little intimidating and caused me to think I’ll flat out get rejected because I am shorter than her. Maybe that was the wrong idea to have. Maybe those girls would have found me cute and confident. But I honestly don’t see anything wrong with taller girls approaching the guys they like. You like someone, go take a chance. If you get rejected, move on to the next. Just don’t blame yourself or get the idea in your head that you’re a problem. There’s nothing wrong with you, you just have to keep trying.

kobeni · Accepted Answer

It's the reason why SOME men don't approach you. Shorter men can be intimidated. Frankly, more men are sexually into that than men fear it, so I wouldn't say that's why things are dry.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

I personally like taller women and shorter for that matter.

But why don't you just do it? If both women and men sit on their ass waiting on someone else then nothing happens. Maybe if you approached someone they might say yes.

Not having sex isn't a bad thing even if people shame you for it. They are really projecting their own self hate onto you. Save yourself until marriage.

I don't talk to many people I don't know and frankly they likely don't even notice you.

I just don't know why you think random men who don't even know you are just going to come talk to you.

Yea you might get rejected but honestly I know some men don't want taller. It doesn't bother me and really I kind of like it

ImJustSomeGuyLol · Answer

I'm 5'6 wanna trade places? 😂
But in all seriousness, unfortunately, yeah.
We're both on the wrong side of our genders.

I think men are biologically wired to want someone shorter and women someone taller. Seeing as you are taller than the average male height, most men would probably pass. Furthermore, we've been fed the whole women like tall men for so long, that we basically cap our dating potential to our height and shorter. We kinda see tall women as people that wouldn't date shorter, since medium and short women wouldn't date shorter.

I hope this at least clarifies a little bit, there are men out there though I promise.

HawkPerception · Answer

Well you're 1 inch taller than me and for the most part I do tend to prefer women that are shorter than me. That's just how men are. We are biologically dominant and prefer shorter, weaker, smaller, etc girls that we can dominate and toss around in bed. Women generally prefer bigger, taller, and stronger guys for the same reason.

It doesn't matter much though if you're attractive and clearly interested in the guy. That would be enough for any guy to be interested in you. I would date a girl that's 5'10 if she was physically attractive and had a great personality.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Well, darlin', I'm 6' 9" and would be THRILLED to have a tall girl! So far, the tallest one I've ever had was about your height, I guess, and that only lasted a couple days/weeks. My ex-fiance was only 5' 3". I PREFER taller women but, I hardly ever get any!! I've only had 3, so far. My first was MAYBE 5' 5". If you or any of your tall girlfriends are interested, come see me! Just think, when we have kids, we can start our own basketball team!!
No, I've almost never played basketball and I don't bother watching sports on t. v.. I'm a drummer so, music is my game... and records.

Anonymous · Answer

Well even just look around this site and you'll see you're not the only girl no being approached, so I doubt it's your height (maybe with some, but it won't be all guys). We guys generally care WAY less about height than you women do in us. But I also suggest doing some approaching yourself, especially if you actually are interested in a guy. Many guys would love to be approached, and there's no guarantee he will, even if he is interested (ie it doesn't mean he's not interested "enough", we can have all the same thoughts and feelings about approaching as you women do).

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Yeah im right at your height and tbh i dont bother putting in effort with girls over 5'4" max and thats if they are gorgeous. Id rather an uggo who is 4'10" and 82lbs is much more sexually appealing. Id still date a hot tall girl but she would have to be thin thin thin. Because tall is weight and i dont like girls that weigh even in my ballpark got to be light so its fun to pick them up and not a chore. My one female friend was like 5'8" and was only like 125 so not bad. But another girl i know was like 180 and tall and she had muscle and a booty but damn thats a fucking chore to pick her up.

20yearsolder · Answer

A lot of guys are intimidated by taller women they're embarrassed to be seen with someone taller than themselves. These guys are idiots. Little do they know that when it comes to a sexual aspect, those long-legged girls can get their legs wrapped all the way around you and ride you like a cowgirl breaking in a bronco

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

Not necessarily I’m 5’2” and have approached several women taller than me. well all lol!
If you’re not approachable than get some guy friends and ask why.
Or your not flirting with enough guys on the field. Do you only send signals to men taller than you?

Anonymous · Answer

'every tall girl I've ever met has a certain "fowardness" & "independent spirit" about them if that makes sense. I think it's the idea that we can "take on" whoever we're dealing with'

A tall, confident, assertive but feminine woman will have no shortage of interested men. Any woman that has masculine energy, is combative, or 'strong' and 'independent' will have few, if any interested men.

zagor · Answer

No it is not. If you were 6'5 or something then it might be the case, but 5'10 is definitely in the wheelhouse for most guys. Height isn't as big an issue for men as it is for women.

I actually know a girl who IS 6'5 that I would be interested in if she wasn't quite as strongly religious as she is.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, that's the reason.

No, it isn't because of what we want. We've just been conditioned to skip over tall girls entirely because, historically, they haven't been interested in guys that were shorter than them.

I'm pretty sure this is learned in middle school.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 6 and a half feet tall and you're right I prefer women 5'5" and under. But not because of their height. It's because generally they're into me. I really don't care about height. But taller women seem to have hangups about their height. I don't want any woman wanting to date me just because of my height. I'm a person, not an accessory of hers.

lightbulb27 · Answer

yea might be intimidating. it takes guys with confidence who aren't eliminating themselves because of their own height concerns.

maybe time to get some T-shirts with appropriate communications to prospective males.

exitseven · Answer

I dated a girl who was 5' 11". She was on the swim team and was just big all over. I thought she was beautiful. If a guy won't date you because you are tall , then they are insecure and not worth your attention.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I take it 5'10" is considered tall for a women where you're from? My ex wife is that height. My prom date was a six two blonde (and I was asked out by four women to prom)

Avicenna · Answer

Your height is perfect. Not every guy likes tall women, but some of us have a strong preference for them.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I would date a tall girl no problem. Being competitive, combative or too independent can be a turn-off though.

Birdlegs · Answer

I doubt that it’s your height lots of guys have no problem with it

garykingg · Answer

Yeah I'm 6ft, but I would want a shorter girl. Some short guys like tall girls though, maybe approach more short guys or date like 6'5ft guys?

TenkRealist · Answer

Might be. Shorter guys would be intimidated to ask you out in fear of being rejected and I don't know about taller guys.

(19F) Is my height the reason guys don't approach me?

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