Should I go on a date with a guy and his girlfriend?

Question

Long story short, I've been single for a few months and got matched with a pretty nice guy. We talked for a while until he finally mentioned that he had a girlfriend. I went to block him, but he insisted that she knew and that they were looking for a unicorn (apparently a legit thing). He asked if I would go on a date with THEM, as in both of them. I'm not against the idea, but it seems kind of suspicious and strange to me. What should I do?

P. S. If you need more details to say, just ask.

razelove · Accepted Answer

I'd ask for more details on the dynamic that he/they are looking for while you're on the date. One thing you've got to figure out for yourself in action, regardless of how the words sound, is how well you can handle jealousy, and how well he/they would be willing to treat you.

Earlier on when my wife and an ex got me into poly, it gave me the idea that all of the relationships should be threesomes since that one was. It was just trying to force a square peg into a round hole most times, and took a few awkward situations to figure that out.

On my end if I'm with another woman, I'm with her, and don't push anything with my wife, aside that they do have to acknowledge the other exists, and it would be nice if they met at some point.

Every poly couple is looking for a unicorn though, so realize your inherent value. Couples looking for a single woman willing to be with someone in a relationship is a huge number of people compared to single women willing to be with couples. It's why you're a unicorn, you're so rare it's near mythical.

knottywriter · Accepted Answer

So this I always a fun path to figure out. If you are not opposed to the idea, then perhaps try out the date. I would certainly ask for the girlfriend to be involved in some of the conversation before meeting up and IF you choose to meet up, I would possibly hold back and see if both show up waiting for you and it's not just him. Make clear to him that if it's just him there, that you will walk away and there will be no date. Make sure the meet happens in a pretty public place too. Maybe first meet should be getting coffee with them and just getting to know the girlfriend since clearly she hasn't been mentioned a lot. Just protect yourself first and foremost and if anything seems off to you, go run and hide.

SaartjieJane · Accepted Answer

I don't know how people do this, no judgement but I’d feel sooo uncomfortable. I’d rather be single lol

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

I’m really confused. Is this like one of those poly things?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Do you really want a LTR where your partner (s) are not committed exclusively to you? Is that good enough?

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You've obviously given it plenty of thought or you wouldn't even be asking.. So, that said, tell him you would like to discuss the details with JUST his girlfriend over a coffee in a public place.. There you can set any ground rules.

Personally? That setup would be entirely wrong for me, but whatever floats your boat.

altdbob · Answer

This is a thing but if you are meeting them both for the first time here are some safety tips.

Meet them there, don't all go in the same car.

Make sure someone knows where you are going and what time you plan to be back

If you are going out to a club have a couple of preset times to check in by phone (NOT JUST A TEXT)

Do NOT go home with them on the first date.

If you do decide to leave with them, have a friend who can track your phone and a voice "I am ok" code word as well as a "HELP" code word.

I have done some things in my life where now that I look back on it was very sketchy at the time.
Then again, I grew up in a different time than what we are living in now.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It can be fun, it really depends what everyone wants out of it.

its important that they are open with you.

Equally you with them

its possible to date and it not to be sexual.

Admittedly usually this type of thing does have a sexual element to it.

Done it before, it can be a laugh if all 3 relax into it and make sure some boundaries are put in place and limits etc.

It can be common within BDSM communities looking for an extra sub.

Keyboardkat · Answer

Why would you do that? What's the payoff for you? And who pays for what?
You know, most people date because they are looking to find love, and they date someone whom they find attractive, one-on-one. There is clearly no such point in going out with a guy and his girlfriend, so I see this as sort of a waste of your time.

chriss · Answer

I don't think its a good idea because it could be a scam, promote for a business or a threesome.

If you want a long term relationship, then this is not a good idea.

There are other tinder matches that you could get that meet your requirement.

DavidRaul · Answer

From what i see they are looking to add a partner to their bed. If you like the idea, go for it. But if you find this weird and you don't like the idea of a threesome, kindly ignore them. Going on a date would rather raise expectations for them and it would be difficult for you to step back.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

Go with your gut. Sounds REALLY strange to me too. A relationship should be only between two people anyways. I have heard of double dates nothing wrong with that or taking a friend long as both agree.

But... This is just odd I think you're smart and if you have a bad feeling then I would say to not go

WraithRogue04 · Answer

That seems to me like they are wanting to groom a girl for a threesome?
I know its very common, it seems like threesomes come in 2 flavors
1. 2 bisexual girls with a guy
or
2. 2 straight men gaining up on 1 girl

Just seems to me that its a couple that is looking for another woman to play with.

loveslongnails · Answer

They're looking for someone to be part of a "throuple" - a threesome. If that's ok with you, go for it. if it's not what you want, left them know you're not interested in any romance or sex, but you could use some new friends - if that's what you want. If you don't want any of those things, decline the invite.

IJhonnyI · Answer

See I'm just gonna say one thing, but shit I might be wrong, but when I was reading this story it all sounded like bad news but you do you who I am too tell you how to live, for me personally tho no I wouldn't even come close

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

It's all gonna go to shit, I'm calling it now, you can't love two people the same and I feel like that will eventually effect things on this three way relationship, but enough knows, I might be wrong, I don't believe so tho lol

Anonymous · Answer

It does seem strange to me as well, I guess it wouldn't hurt meeting and seeing what they sort of expect in that kind of relationship as you won't know till you speak to them. But at the same time you have ti ask yourself is that something you can actually do. Be in a relationship like that.

Have they given any inclination as to what the relationship is like? You did say your not against i was wondering why?

Also how did you match with him? If you don't mind my asking.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I wouldn’t. Polyamory takes a very specific kind of person to make it work… and I’ve never really seen it work. The thought of being with more than one person at the same time just unsettles me and opens the door to favorites and drama.

Massageman · Answer

Jinkies!
Something seems a bit out of whack, there.
If he will bring number 2 to be with him and number 1, what is to stop this from going to number 3 with number 2, and then number 4 with number 3, etc.

Berethor · Answer

It's your choice, are you into threesome and/or polyamory?

20yearsolder · Answer

If you're open to the idea then check it out. Would you be into another male and female?

Birdlegs · Answer

I guess it would depend on if you find at least one of them hot😭

garykingg · Answer

What's an unicorn? Do you have to dress up in a costume too? lol

SeekingVirginWife · Answer

Choose your path, be Lily of the Lake or Roastie Toastie.

Should I go on a date with a guy and his girlfriend?

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