He only sees her once in a while to have dinner? Excuse me this sounds like a date and he is more than likely paying for it. Girl you have every right to ask him about it. "He thinks" it's no big deal but anyone else can clearly see it's a huge deal. The fact that she didn't want a relationship with him shows that he was trying to get in a relationship with her. This to me is a red flag and it's disrespectful if he is dating you. If he cares for you he will stop seeing her even as a friend and if he doesn't girl you best walk away
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Probably giving you the silent treatment because he knows he screwed up
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