Guys, does the silent treatment ever work?

[coco489]

If you don't feel like reading, the short of it is: does it?

If you're interested in why I'm asking and feel like reading...

The long of it is: The guy I was seeing a few months ago started talking to me again after we ran into each other. He instigated it, although it wasn't until a day later that I got a text saying "I know you probably don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to tell you it was really good seeing you yesterday. Even though it was brief and from a distance. Happy Friday." The reason he thought I wouldn't want to talk to him is because he's actually the one who ended things -- refer to link

Anyway, aside from being very flirty via text since, he came out with a mutual group of friends this past weekend and told a friend that he still has the same feelings for me and would like to talk (this was said while he was sober). Sure enough, at the end of the night, he grabbed me and kissed me despite his distaste for PDA. When I told him I missed him he responded "You have no idea...I think we need to talk when we're sober." then continued the making out and flirting. He turned down coming home with me so I know he wasn't shooting for an easy lay or bullsh*tting me, BUT, he hasn't made an effort to actually 'talk' since.

I understand that he's very busy with both work and spring classes coming to an end this week, and is probably trying to figure out when/what he's going to say so I can be patient with that. What's pissed me off is when we were texting about random stuff yesterday, I sent him a pic of the massive amounts of nachos I ordered (b/c we're both nacho fanatics haha) and he asked who I was with and where his invite was. So I told him it was just my roomie and tried to make plans with him next Sunday and he says "I'm not here next Sunday. Anywho, have fun." I took that as a cop-out and left the conversation at that. An hour later he texts me "God you're frustrating. PS say hi to your roomie". I was genuinely shocked and peeved because I am not the frustrating one here, so I asked him why and he didn't answer. After an hour of him not answering I told him he was the king of frustrating and went to bed. Nothing. Today I jokingly said "You can't call someone frustrating and then not tell them why. Spill it" and still NOTHING. So it's safe to say I'm pretty pissed, I know he'll text me eventually but I'm thoroughly annoyed. I don't know if he's actually that busy or if he's doing this on purpose so I'm debating giving him a taste of his own medicine and going the silent treatment route even though I don't like playing these stupid games.

Thoughts?

Also feel free to fire away if you have any guess as to why or how I could possibly have frustrated him...

Updates

+1 y

To specify, the silent treatment clearly works on girls (if your aim is to drive them bonkers and have them pissed off at you). I'm asking if it works in regards to making you men smarten up and realize that you might lose us if you don't.

[JZ_817]

Even though I'm in no position to be giving advice about this stuff, I'll give it a go. First off I think both of you over reacted with you starting first. He might have been telling the truth about not beng available next Sunday and you shouldn't have automatically assumed he was blowing you off.

I don't know if your the type of person who replies to every text as soon as you get it but I'm just going to assume you are and when you didn't replied, he noticed and assumed that you go mad/annoyed and since he couldn't figure out what he said wrong he took out his frustration on you, which is somethng he shouldn't have done. He probably doesn't have any good excuse to justify his actions so he's giving you the silent treatment until he thinks of some BS to say.

I guess he must really like you, for him to get so frustrated over a text...

Well there ya go, that's my two cents

[TheDigitalSaint]

It sounds like he's busy and you overreacted. I'd chill and wait before responding again. Re-initiate the contact in a few days if he doesn't respond and let him know you're not holding a grudge.

[coco489]

So I called him out on being distant, not having the talk he mentioned, and told him I understood if it's because we made out but I'm still OK with just being friends if he wants. He then informed me that he's away on business and gets back on the 1st, and asked if we could 'connect' then (what the heck does connect mean haha?). When I later joked about him literally being distant he said "Yeah babe lol...I'm not ignoring you." I'm assuming this can only be good and I'm over-analyzing. Thoughts?

[TheDigitalSaint]

How about you try to stay busy like he is and get your mind off him for a bit. You have ten days before he returns. Why not keep the contact to a minimum and let him take the lead once he returns to give his version of "connecting" means. People don't like it when they are told they "have" to do something. Let him come to you and explain what his intentions are, don't project your's on to him, it won't work.

[coco489]

Oh I definitely won't be contacting him now, he's clarified that things are okay which puts my mind at ease, I'm just trying to prepare myself for being let down I guess. I hope he didn't take it as me projecting any intentions on him, I genuinely didn't want to play games and know what was up is all.

[TheDigitalSaint]

"Calling him out" is not the way to go. Men dislike when women do this. Let him communicate to you on his own terms, as you'll get a more honest response that way and you'll also put a lid on the "needy" vibes. Once again, no contact as you said and let this play out in due time. Enjoy a busy week!

[coco489]

Needy vibe!? Ohhh nooo! That's the last thing I wanted to give off...ah, you men...so complicated =\

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the whole thing sorry and I know I'm not a guy but I know that my boyfriend would say NO, the silent treatment does not work. I've learned from my boyfriend that men are very direct, kind of simpler than women, straight to the point...I don't think you should use the silent treatment on him, just tell him exactly what your problem is!

[dreamtime]

In your case, it probably won't work because he isn't really chasing you or trying to spend a lot of time with you, chances are he might not even notice you went missing.

Your frustrating because you didn't invite him for nachos... duh!(no really, I have no clue beyond that)

[BadGrim]

im not gonna read all that...no silent treatments don't work they we like it when your quite lmao just kidding. just be you, be real if something is bugging you spill it no need for extra drama.

[NerdInDenial]

It depends on the person, but it can work if the guy cares about the girl. I think a stern glare with the silent treatment works really well.

[arashmenalagha]

The silent treatment makes me go away, so yes It works

[Anonymous]

Don't play any games. just walk away from this whole thing and don't look back. silent treatment is just another game and I don't suggest doing that. just block his number or something and find a new guy,