Which do you think is more common, a man expecting sex on the first date or a women expecting the man to pay for the first date?

[Blueeyes81]

Inspired by a recent question I saw.

Man expecting sex

Women expecting the man to pay

Neither has any expectations

[TrueConfection]

Maybe it depends on the age bracket? I would expect the man to pay and I would not be expecting him to want sexual favors in return. If he expected sex because he bought me dinner, I'd assume he thought nothing more of me than a prostitute. Younger people seem so confused in their attempts at moral superiority.

All this yammering I see from gag users about women wanting a free meal is a load of dung. Are women so broke and starving they'll go on any date just so they can eat?

With all that being said, I did invite a guy on a picnic date once and I brought the picnic (wine included). He drove.

I've been married a long time and we combined our resources from the start, so I can't say I paid or he paid x number of times. 🙅 After 21 years, we still say thank you to the other person for getting their wallet out even though it's shared money. It's kind of a joke, but neither of us can stand not saying thank you.

[Blueeyes81]

Thanks for answering. To be the devils advocate a man is morally repugnant for expecting anything but a woman expecting something is not because of tradition? Not saying either is wrong or right as I pay and haven't minded with the exception of one woman.

To address the are women that broke, yes some are. I have a close female friend who after her divorce didn't want child support. She wanted to prove that she was strong enough to do it without his help. So she would use dating apps to get dates so she could be wine and dined (she had no intention of it going further) as she couldn't justify spending money on herself when money was so tight. So yes some women use dates for free food.

[TrueConfection]

As far as, "a man is morally repugnant for expecting anything," yes and no. I have picked up the tab many times with friends and not expected something in return.
-Yes, I do think it's repugnant to expect a woman to share her body as gratitude. Parting with money is not the same as parting with intimacy. Most men think so too or they wouldn't care about "body count".
-No, in the way that yes it is unfair to men that they are expected to pay for the date. Perhaps men should be looking for a connection with a woman other than just a yes to a date from some random woman on an internet dating app.

Women: I keep sleeping with men and they don't stay.
Men: I keep paying for meals with women and they don't give me sex.

It seems we've all lost our discretion.

[Anonymous]

MEN EXPECTING SEX. Well, maybe not expecting but really hoping for it. And that's normal. The who pays shit is irrelevant, I don't get why people put so much importance on it? I literally don't think about it until the waiter is standing there and it's awkward. Usually we both take out our wallets and if he doesn't offer to pay I just say "split bill please" to the waiter and that's it. But there were times I didn't accept for him to pay all due to huge bill, and there were also times I offered to pay because it just felt right and nice. That goes with friends too.

[Opinion Owner]

My point is that we don't EXPECT or hope for man to pay because of money, we just hope he likes us. And some women see it as a big sign of interest if he does offer to pay. Usually when there are no other signs...

[Guy13]

I hope a woman with a get your wallet out you cheap B-strd look if requirred. It's basic etiquette. Ask someone out, plan it, and pay for it. It does not seem complicated.

[Blueeyes81]

Its not an etiquette question. There are plenty of etiquette rules that most don't expect people to follow for example etiquette dictates one holds the door for someone. It's nice if they do but not expected. I ask more so to get people thinking as I have always payed for dates and don't generally mind.

[Guy13]

No argument from me... My parents used a belt SO I do those things out of habit... for the Pant Suited up Feminist too. It is what it is...

[Blueeyes81]

Same minus the belt. My mom went to charm school in the 60's to be the perfect wife so I have a lot of habits instilled in me from childhood.

[Guy13]

I'm going to see if I can apply some of the training over fireworks... Enjoy the 4th holiday.

[Blueeyes81]

Same.

[driven159]

If you ask someone out, then that person that asks pays why it so hard to understand has the human race gotten that dumb

[Subarugirl]

Well I expect who ever asks the other out on a date should be the one who pays for it unless it has been discussed before hand... I wouldn't invite someone over for dinner and expect them to bring their own food.

with that being said there are some who will abuse it any way you cut it. Men trying to use women for sex and women using men for a free meal...

[Blueeyes81]

You are referring to etiquette. Which in and of itself does not carry expectations. If a female coworker asked you out for drinks after work would you go expecting her to pay since she asked. I don't think many would. They would go expecting to pay but if she offered to pay it would be nice. Never once have I had the expectation someone was going to pay for a movie because they asked me to go. I go expecting to pay. If they offered, again it would be nice but not expected. The notion of asker of date pays is fairly modern and nothing more than a rephrasing of a man should pay. As I stated to guy13 I have and will continue to pay as its ingrained in me but I ask this question to spur discussion. The question that spurred this was one about men expecting sex for paying for a date. I couldn't help but notice the hypocrisy in many women's responses. Thus the question of expectations.

Also who goes over to someones house for diner on a first date. Thats the stuff of movies but I was always taught to bring something if invited for dinner. Desert, wine, simple side but that was the way I was raised.

[Subarugirl]

There is a difference between a date and drinks with a friend honey.. if she was asking me out on a date yes I would expect that she would offer to pay. When I’ve asked people out on dates I always pay… because that’s what etiquette dictates and your right paying for dates are a modern thing, before women were bought and sold as property or slaves basically.