Should I return to college to find a wife?

[MissingAWoman]

I am contemplating on returning to school to find a wife, even if I take some part time classes here and there.

I am 27, almost 28, and I never had a real girlfriend. I seek a woman who has never had her first love. Essentially, I seek a woman without a romantic past.

A lot of people meet their spouses in college. Maybe I can have a chance if I return to school?

I don't have a college degree, yet I make really good money as a frontend software engineer.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

You dont need to goto college you need to forget this completely unrealistic idea that the woman you meet won't have ever dated before.

Dating is more than hard enough without adding insane levels of difficulty.

It is literally like saying that you dont want to win the lottery unless you had to also buy your ticket from the most remote vendor possible, located at the top of a mountain which is completely cut off from the rest of humanity 4 months of the year and you are also not allowed to drive there, you have to claw your way up the side of the mountain like you pictured in your delusional fantasies of this moment.

[MissingAWoman]

I found a girl that had never even had a male friend before she met me. I found her online. Sadly, she later married some other guy who who got to be her first everything.

[Opinion Owner]

I've met loads of unicorns but there is this thing called reality and when they live on the other side of the world thats a problem.

[MissingAWoman]

I am willing to go anywhere to find my dream girl

[Opinion Owner]

The other and much more significant part of it is that there are no perfect people, all the unicorns you could ever meet would turn out to just be horses, because that is all there is, just ordinary flawed people.

Relationships are things which are built over time and your prerequisite starting point isn't some beautiful untouched canvas, its it just the manifestation of your insecurities, an ugly mental illness which will forever be an obsticle to forming a close bond with someone else.

[abc3643]

Yes, this is actually an excellent method to meet a woman and get into a relationship. This works.

Take a class that you know you will do well at but that also will have women in it. In class, illustrate by answering instructor questions that you know your shit. The women will notice. Then, one of these may happen:
1. Some girl will approach you asking for help or making small talk in some seeking your knowledge in an off-handed way.
2. You make small talk with some girl in class that you might be interested in and, at some point, offer to help her.

In both cases, you'll spend time together and, if she's available, Nature will take its course.

[shyman87]

@missingawoman I think that you should just continue be happy that you have a great job. You're not missing out on anything. True, some people find their ideal partner in college, but I assure you that you don't have to go back to school just to find your "lady". Just keep moving forward, and I'm sure that she will find you soon enough. I know she's out there for you.

The girl who suits you should love you whether you have a degree or not. And if she asks you about your finances, she's not the one for you. So, no going back to college is unnecessary.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Going back to school won't help you find someone to date. If anything, you're really gonna get used badly. Or, rightfully, seen as a huge creep.

Unless you can go out and make friends now, going back is just gonna isolate you further.

What do you do outside of work? Do you have a life? If yes, who shares that life with you and where do you meet new friends?

[MissingAWoman]

I honestly do not have a social life outside working remotely from home. I do have an older friend in his 40s I go to see occasionally and that is it.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Then start there.

Going back to school won't help you if you lack social skills or a social life. And you'll just look like the creepy older guy who is looking for a young woman.

What do you like to do other than work?

[MissingAWoman]

I guess just lay around and play on my phone. I admit I am a very boring person.

[MissingAWoman]

I really don't know what hobby really interests me

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Start there.

And consider therapy. Every man I've known who acts like you do has depression, and improved when they got on medication.

Go get help. It isn't normal to not like doing anything.

[Ευδεμονια]

I think honestly you’re not alone since I’m in your situation, but honestly don’t make yourself ridiculous going again to college with youngsters.. it’s true that some couples formed in college go forward to marriage but it isn’t the only way.
On other hand, try to improve yourself joining a club or hitting gym… I know most women at our age has already a romantic past but there’s always someone that hasn’t. Try joining also church clubs, in can be helpful.

[MissingAWoman]

It is disheartening being in this situation, especially watching all my peers I have known growing up getting married, having kids, or both. I never imagined making it to my age being in this situation. I never even had a real girlfriend before.

[Ευδεμονια]

I can relate.. since I have the same life. I see others having family and making experiences, I’ve seen others doing that all my life and I feel stuck.
But always remember… I speak also for myself, there’s no one meant to make you reverse from this situation, the power is all in your hands. And if you’re in peace with yourself you’re going to be happy despite being without a partner. There is a lot of beautiful funny and interesting things to do alone or with friends too.

[MissingAWoman]

I think missing out on intimacy and sex is frustrating too. It is kinda hard hanging with friends who are married and in new chapters of their lives, but I see what you are saying. I am trying to be somewhat functional being alone.

[Ευδεμονια]

I know, I relate with your sensations and you’ll finish to be the strange alone uncle for their kids.. I know intimacy and sweetness are desirable but… sometimes it’s meant to not obtain them. I know it’s really pessimistic to se things like that, in fact I don’t want to encourage you to think so, I want you to fight for what you want… but sometimes is better to let things be and accept the fate.

[mandyfire98]

Depending on where you are from, college is ground zero for hookup culture. Where most college students go to hangout and let loose on the weekends are bars and clubs and house parties. Students are drinking and hooking up in college a lot lol. I think this is probably not a good place to find your virgin haha.

[LazerBean]

Colleges are the breeding grounds for promiscuous people. Literally. You're very unlikely to find the kind of person you are wanting there.

[MissingAWoman]

Then church is my best bet? But then again, you even said young adult groups consist of a lot of married couples.

[LazerBean]

Definitely church is your best bet. Yes people are getting married at higher rates in church, but a lot of it is because they're also waiting for meaningfull relationships rather than being promiscuous and this finding good partners sooner. So yes there are more married couples, but there's still more eligible singles there than you will find anywhere else.

[MissingAWoman]

I tried asking Rachel's mom if I could eventually date one of her younger sisters, and she said no. Her younger sisters are like Rachel in the fact they never dated or had their first love, to my knowledge.

[LazerBean]

It sounds like there is something specific about you that they do not like and do not approve of. I'll also say that most girls over 18 are going to have some sort of dating history. I would say that you yourself also have a dating history, even though you do not think so.

[MissingAWoman]

They were a devout Catholic family. They wanted me to convert to Catholicism and come off my medications completely. Me and Rachel had an online thing for months, but she rejected me when I drove to finally meet her in person.

[LazerBean]

Yes. So there is something about your demeanor that they find off-putting. It may or may not have to do with visible manifestations of your mental illness.

[JustinTheGreat]

Aren’t colleges filled with young adults 18-22 who are looking to party and have one night stands?
it’s a weird place to find marriage material. Especially at your age, no offense lol

[MissingAWoman]

I am not 30 just yet. I am hoping to find a woman where we can be each other's first loves and first real relationship.

[JustinTheGreat]

Not 30 yet but still too old to try to meet 20 year olds in college

[MissingAWoman]

You really think early 20s is too young for me? I want a woman without a romantic past.

[ArrowheadSW]

Are you really sure that you want to find a woman without a romantic past? Anyway I think returning to college is a good idea anyway, to finish up your degree. College is a good place to meet a potential mate also.

[MissingAWoman]

I thought about it. I don't have a degree. I do make good money already as a frontend software engineer.

[Slartybartfast]

Dating in college is now as taboo as dating at work. You could take just a class , that way if you have to leave the University it's not like loosing your major. But again, the current wisdom is not to date anyone from the same college.

[MissingAWoman]

Is it really that much of a taboo now? My dad met my mom when they were in college. Some of my friends met their wives in college.

[Slartybartfast]

Different time, they used to have cigarette vending machines too.

[Guy13]

Start simple?- Like meetup group under shared hobby Search. Plenty of serious people to meet there. Soccer Book club corporate conservative club/Business connections etc...

[MissingAWoman]

I didn't have much success with Meetup groups. Maybe I can try it again.

[Guy13]

One has to spread oneself across groups. It is taking the dating app investment time and doing meetup instead. It's a job for awhile...

[Sarahplus2]

no offense. this sounds sort of creepy going to school to find a girl like that. i know its tough but there is many others places to meet women and get to know them for a potential relationship.

[MissingAWoman]

But here is the catch... I want a woman without a romantic past and same inexperience as me when it relates to love

[TheSpaceGnome]

"there is many others places to meet women and get to know them for a potential relationship."

Actually, for someone his age, there isn't.

As adults, we have literally zero options for meeting people outside of going to college (which does have people in their late 20s to 40s. especially in any career training that requires repeat certifications).

@missingawoman I say go, your only other options are bars, clubs, concerts, etc. and only creepy drunkard women go to those.

Ignore all the women saying you're a creep, they have unrealistic expectations, and its not creepy to want to meet someone who fits you.

[Sarahplus2]

Thats right but let's go back to college cause we are a 27 yo looking for a woman without a romantic past. We will find that among girls in their 20s focusing on college. What's wrong with that picture? You know,. What's wrong with his picture? Self confidence my friend.

[TheSpaceGnome]

1. A 7 year or less gap in age is literally inconsequencial for a 27 year old and the person 7 years younger/older.
2. Depending on the course he picks, there are going to be people younger, the same age, and older than him.
3. Self confidence is inconsequencial to the discussion.
4. You are grasping at straws trying to make him seem creepy, and it just makes you seem creepy.

[Sarahplus2]

Setting him up for failure. He sits at home and does nothing now. How is going to college going help? He will not meet anyone and then be crying about it in another post

[Anonymous]

Don't waste your time. All them will be busy sleeping around wasting their best years. Church will be no different. The only difference is they keep it quiet.

[MissingAWoman]

Are you serious about church?

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely, and it's not going away until both men and women stop placing pleasure on a pedestal. Not all will be that way and you could get lucky. Just be very careful.

[AviatorTom]

That shouldn't be the only reason to go to college but you should meet a lot of single, attractive and intelligent women there.

[MikeInHawaii]

Night classes would be much better. In graduate school, I met a lot of very intelligent women who were already married.

[bamesjond0069]

No thats dumb asf and too late. I did that for a similar reason and while the girls are FAR better than some girl at your job they are already hos. Better to go to south America

[joeldalton]

There's nothing a college girl wants more than some 28 year old dork, lol. You'll be the old guy creeper on campus.

[KrakenAttackin]

The average college girl has TWELVE different sexual partners during just four years of college alone.

[Twalli]

Simply going to college to look for a girl is asinine. Also your stipulations are too strict

[msc545]

People generally go to college to get an education not to find trouble.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

To find a wife, you say? Get outta town!

[MissingAWoman]

Yes, why not?

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Bruhhh. 😒 Get a better education and find yourself a job and the ladies would come in. You aren't serious. Right? Please tell me that you're just TROLLING.

[MissingAWoman]

I don't have a degree, yet I make good money as a frontend software engineer.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

If you want to smoke weed and GET AIDS from some random bieatch, then go for it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nah; don't do that. You'll get kicked out.

[MissingAWoman]

Why do you think that? Haha

[Jamie05rhs]

@MissingAWoman Because I know who you are, and I've seen your other questions. (The ones with your old account, too.) You don't have a good track record for making good decisions

[Zygum]

Go to some dating Website

[jimmy2]

If you do you owe 2x on education