Is it wrong to be friends with guys who want to date you?

Question

I try to avoid being friends with guys who message me on this site cause I don’t want to be guilty of leading people on since the chance I will date a guy in this site not in my city are around 1 or 1.4%. But sometimes I think I need more online friends and I prefer men as friends because they are less emotionally demanding then women.

AndrésC64 · Accepted Answer

I know I'm a bit late to answer, but being friends with a guy online is much different than being friends with a guy you see or are going to see face-to-face. I don't think it's necessarily bad to be friends with a guy online. I would make sure that he understands your feelings, or lack thereof. He probably will still want to date. But if he's on the other side of the country or the world and there's essentially no chance of you two actually meeting up, and you've made it clear that you only want to be friends, then I'd say it's okay. If he starts talking about meeting somewhere or coming to see you, that's when you're going to have to remind him that you said from the beginning you were just going to be friends and you'd like to keep it that way. You may end up losing him as a friend if it gets this far, but I doubt it will.

Zolly99999 · Accepted Answer

I don't think so if you make it known up front

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

I also tend to like male friends, as on average our personalities mesh better than many of the women I've met (though I also have female friends I love). I don't know why, but we have more similar senses of humor and the conversation just seems to flow better. I don't know how else to explain it.

Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you two are on the same page and have discussed your boundaries, but from personal experience, be prepared for him to expect you to change your mind. Sadly, I lost a great friendship this way, though I'm aromantic and asexual, but some don't believe in that or expect you to eventually change your mind (or believe you are "just playing hard to get"). I have a lifelong male friend I'm close to, and both of us are on the same page when it comes to our friendship and the fact that it won't go any further than that, but I have to admit it's hard to make male friends as an adult because many want more than friendship.

DaveJord · Answer

Well I will be honest any guy that just wants to be your guy friend on this site is probably a creep. I mean look at us @jennifer_bloom you post a lot of stuff and I have responded to a lot of your posts. Are we not G@G friends?

I have and will not DM you on here, because I don't think that's necessary.

There is no purpose to that, I am dating someone I am totally happy and into, and your some person I don't really know with less than 1% to 1.4% chance of ever meeting. And the chances of us dating is like 0%, because I know you well enough from your posts, that I am the type of guy who is not going to make Christ a priority in my dating or female friendship life. Plus I don't do that type of thing with any women on line... its just creepy to me. I connect on line then meet them in person, and let things go from there and since I have no intention of ever meeting you then why do a need an on line friendship?

So the guys that would want to be your friends on here, might pretend to be down with your morals and values... but in the end they are still men and why would they want to just be on line friends with some one unless they believed there was a real chance for more?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I don't blame you. I've had 100% completely platonic female friends that leave me feeling like I'm emotionally drained.

To be real though about anything to do with "dating" from a website where these people could be living on another planet for all I know... It's not happening. I personally get really sick of getting hit on from this site. I make it clear that I'm married, I removed my real pictures, and I try not to say anything seductive at all. Somehow though... I keep running into those kinds of weirdos.

To sum up what I'm thinking, I can only imagine how bad it is for a female on here... easy to get attention I suppose. But I don't understand actually wanting that kind of attention. When it happens to me it feels ultra cringe.

Pudsmucker · Answer

It is good to date people that are your friends. Friends can turn into eternal friends. They make the best companions. You can always talk to your best friend about anything. I do agree with you pertaining to dating a lot of people on this side. It's nothing against them.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Not wrong, but often a headache later if he's unable to respect your platonic boundaries.

If a real friendship forms then eventually the guy will realize that you're probably not compatible on some moral or logistical basis.

The problem is many guys will try to come across as likeable to increase their chances of you feeling a connection, but then lack authenticity. Only when you start from where you aren't going to budge, can you shoot the shit like old pals.

melanieeeB · Answer

Generally I do think so, especially if you know that he would want more... so when you stop the contact you're on the safe side and won't lead anyone on and hurt feelings.

I had this male friend who wanted more and after me directly saying that it's not going to happen ever, he said okay no problem I will move on, but he lied to me and on the inside he just hoped I would change my mind... I learned from that and that is not a friendship, so I cut it off immediately

LilSicilian · Answer

As long as you ain’t flirting with them or being sexually suggestive in any way then you ain’t leading them on. I’m the exact same way you are.. I prefer male friends for the same reason u do. And if one of your male friends does accuse you of leading them on then just stop being friends with them cause apparently they can’t handle being just friends with you.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not necessarily wrong, but a lot of women really suck at boundaries, so it's easy for friendships with men to become romantic unintentionally. That's a great way to look like a gigantic asshole. If you aren't super clear and super consistent about what a relationship is and is not; people will confuse things and blend them together.

bubblegunnn · Answer

Nope.. just be friends w him if u want but dont be one sided..

red324 · Answer

It's only leading them on if they make it obvious they want to date you and you say something like not this weekend it's my kids birthday party. Maybe next weekend we can go out?

dtweed1996 · Answer

It depends on how the guy is really he may accept the friendship and the rejection if he had a little crush and you rejected him in a light way he’ll realize you just want to be friends or he might be desperate unfortunately and not accept that it could go either way

countrygirl8754 · Answer

No it not wrong as long as u set boundaries and if he crosses those boundaries then ur decision is ur to take

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s wrong because even though you are a good women and tell them truth what if they hope you “change your mind “🥺 And in some cases this does happen thO

WhitneySnow · Answer

It’s not wrong but they don’t really wanna be friends

RavVid · Answer

If it is straight up honest - as you are being - why not?

LilyoftheLake · Answer

I was going to say, if it's wrong, then I'm a VERY bad girl...

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

It’s not if you’re honest with them and maintain firm boundaries. NOT leading people on is actually really easy. It’s just that too many people find honesty problematic, for some reason.

Andrewosas · Answer

It's ok for you to avoid guys on this site but don't avoid me when I send messages lol. I think it's your decision but sometimes it's ok to have fun while chatting and you can learn new things while sharing understanding with each other but make sure you draw the line.

lawhawk · Answer

I mean if a guy isn't capable of being friends with a woman and just talking that is on them. I dont mind female friends online.

dolemite89 · Answer

if a guy is attracted to you i wouldn’t waste his or your time for that matter trying to be just. his friend.

TotallyAlmost · Answer

It's not wrong, but it might be a little inhumane ;)

Xtendable · Answer

Its not wrong at all, especially if they know where you're at

Bubbles16 · Answer

Well my guy best friend of six years told me he liked me but I have a boyfriend plus I think of him like my older brother because he's one year older than me

Anonymous · Answer

Society taught us that girls and guys can only be lovers. It’s all a LIE!

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

If they confuse your friendliness with flirting it's wrong.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

I'll tell you a little secret, unless your guy freinds are gay or married. They all want to fuck you, and I'm sure some of the married ones do to

Jamesshinobi · Answer

only if you dont hook him up with your friends. if you dont are you really their friend?

Avicenna · Answer

No, but it's awkward

Teiwaz · Answer

It's not wrong but cruel. They will keep hitting on you until you part your ways

Zygum · Answer

Men on this site have girlfriend, if someone does not, they want to date in their cities

Ali6244 · Answer

It will totally depend on you whether you want or not.

Anonymous · Answer

No, its not. Just be honest with your feelings.

jasco · Answer

Why not, just tell him you don't like him

eagle1951 · Answer

usually causes more problems

tanvishah123 · Answer

I have wished this every single day

Danny_dan92 · Answer

You could end up becoming sad

heavymetalbrotha · Answer

Seems like it would be kinda pointless

Mgtow1990 · Answer

No your a women do what you want

RuthlessAggression · Answer

yeah

Abby154 · Answer

Not there is problem being friend with guys

shyguy002 · Answer

No To me, it's not wrong

AlexM007 · Answer

1000%

Is it wrong to be friends with guys who want to date you?

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