27F, how can you get over this feeling of being cursed in love?

[Anonymous]

I sound so dismal but I feel my lack of results are simply bad luck. A lot of people have used the dating apps and had success, I’ve been on and off for a few years. I’m at the point where I don’t have the drive to actively be on them, I reply to msgs now once a day or every other day. I don’t want to hear it’s because I’m shy or my standards are too high, I’ve seen women in my same field (looks/education wise) able to attract the kind of guy I’d like so if they can I should be able to also. I get matches but the ones I like don’t like me back or the ones that want me I don’t want back. I worry sometimes I’ll be 40 and regret all these years I didn’t live it up and was so antisocial. I’m almost 30 and I worry it’s only going to go downhill as I age, physically and guys prefer younger woman. Maybe it could be my lack of sex drive contributing to being single? Honest and serious answers only please

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Didn’t mean to make it a poll

[Anonymous]

My situation was very similar to yours. I was on and off dating apps for a few years. It never worked out with matches I made for one reason or another, and I’d only been hurt or disappointed by the guys I was meeting both online and in person. I turned 30 late last year, and a month after my birthday is when I met who is currently my boyfriend now, and we have been together for about 9 months. In hindsight, I wish I never used the dating apps even if I hadn’t met him. I think what kept me on there was all the success stories I’d heard personally, but after so many fails I should’ve stopped, bc those men are rarely genuine. So my advice for you is not necessarily to stop using the apps, because everyone’s story is different and you may eventually find your match. But instead my advice would be to do what I did, stop focusing on love and focus on you. Trust me I 100% get it. At this time last year I was still on apps, because I really really wanted to find my person. But I had things about myself I still needed to work on, and even with a man around, those things would still be bothersome. So I focused on being my best self, stepping way outside my comfort zone to try new things I’d had my eye on, made a few new friends, etc etc. Then my boyfriend literally came out of no where, and this has been the healthiest situation ever. So while I understand your fear of getting older and being single, maybe step away from that for now, focus on you, then the rest will fall into place. Sorry for the length of this, but I just had to share since your story felt so similar to mine☺️.

[supercutebutt]

You are doomed. But everyone is so cheer up!

[FilmGuy93]

Every time I hear women complain about their difficulties in dating, I tell them the exact same thing I'm about to tell you. I have never once led any woman astray with this advice, and hopefully it will be useful to you now.

Women who struggle to find desirable men to date are usually experiencing some combination of the following three things (usually all three):

1. The woman doesn't live her life in a way that is conducive to interacting with relationship-oriented men. This includes her career choice, friend circle, her hobbies (or lack thereof), fashion sense, etc. If you're a partier, why wouldn't you attract men who are party animals?

2. The woman isn't basically a pleasant person to interact with. Her personality might suck, or maybe she's simply boring. Maybe her appearance isn't at the level she needs it to be for her to date the kind of men she wants. You would be amazed at how many women struggle in this department.

3. The woman doesn't want a man, she wants a wishlist.

[bean2k21]

You just need to decide if you want to make the effort or not. When I was in my 20s I didn't even really think about it. Relationships just happened. But now I'm older and as we all know older people are much better company then younger people so I enjoy myself a lot more. You'd have to be pretty special to make me want to do something besides what I want to do, which tonight is Netflix and a cheeseburger. I mean shit maybe I could have fun playing miniature golf with some lady but nah probably not. I mean fuck that, Resident Evil is a damn good series.

[Middleman]

It shouldn't be thought of as a stigma you haven't got a good match. As I've said before on this subject, it's really all a matter about circumstance. In your life up until now you simply haven't come across the right person, with the right mix of traits that you find interesting or attractive. It happens.

However, just because you haven't had any luck up until now doesn't mean you're not going to get lucky one day in the near future. So long as you have a belief you believe you will find a match in the depts of your heart, you'll find someone.

In the meantime however there are ways you can increase your chances. Instead of dating apps, you could perhaps turn to close friends or family to find matches. If you have family or friends who do birthday parties, barbecues and such they are often great ways to meet new people without being too embarrassing or difficult (esp. if you have a hard time getting out of your comfort zone). That and any former colleagues or classmates from your younger years from workplaces etc. School reunions are also good places to meet potential people in your life who share similar likes/loves as does workshop classes.

[NishantPu]

Every women will have a lover like every art will have an admirer.
I won't tell your flaws but i will tell you to be optimistic.
You shall find a person but when you did. Stop thinking and enjoy your time with him. If he is too demanding , do your best to please him.
That's what most of man wants

[Hotboy_booblover]

Girls shudnt have a problem like this.. I think just be more open and receptive.. u will easily get it.

I have been trying to have a good time a similar woman like you and ur age.. but she doesn't seem to get the hint.. so I feel she doesn't need it.. I don't know what's the reason for her to be lonely like this.

[Juxtapose]

The one common denominator in all of this is you. Obviously you're not doing something right to attract the type of men you want. What is the type of guy you want exactly?

[Intothevoid666]

I’m almost 27 now and I’ve never been in love. Never had a relationship last more than a month in my whole life. And I’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel u. I’m cursed at love too.

[NoUsernameSelected]

Forget dating apps. Go to places where you think the man you are looking for might be.

[OddBeMe]

We all get into self defined bubbles. Certain types of people we only talk to, go on dates with, etc. Try some new things.

[driven159]

There is someone for everyone just need to cross paths the more you are out there the better your chances you have

[Jltakk]

Eh, I'm 31, almost hitting 32, with zero experience in relationships. You'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

By making better choices. And not being so melodramatic.

[FunkyMonkee]

You need to go out and get some exorcize.

[genericname85]

how many people did you meet?

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I'm 26 and never had trud love

[Nahid1707]

Yes because you want love and you will find love

[Jouth]

just date me

I'm better

[Anonymous]

You’ll be fine. You’re a woman.

[Pejtu]

Tinder?