How can I stop being scared of aging?

Question

I‘m turning 24 soon and it scares me. I love making new experiences and I know life is a gift. However, I feel scared because I like the way I look now and I feel like I‘m going to lose my value in a few years and that men will like me less. How can I stop being so scared?

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

Protip: A lot of those men don't really know you or care that much about or for you. If your only leverage/investment is your pretty face, then your fear is rooted in a deeper insecurity: lack of sense of deeper value / applicability.

You admire the flattery, but you doubt your skills. You secretly feel useless. I have acquired many different skills throughout my life, yet I still feel like there are many more that I don't have that I should by now. Like I'm falling way behind. I know your insecurity.

Society is fragile. We're always one natural disaster, one stupid election, one coup, one war, one stupid business decision by some fat cat or politician, one corrupt bureaucrat drunk on power, one deranged criminal, one engineered plague instigated by a global cabal of God-playing psychopaths, or one wild animal attack away from everything we know going up in smoke.

And you know that if social decay occurs, no matter what the catalyst, most to survive have to revert to tribalism. You have to find a tribe. To last long, you need something to contribute. To prove your worth. Prove you aren't dead weight.

A pretty face to look at while some dude shoots his cream into your bakery isn't going to get you very far, when there are plain Janes that not only can take cream into their bakeries the same as you and pop a baby out, but that also know how to turn a random muskrat into seemingly anything and everything.

After seeing all the sheep and Tide zombies, and what they did to Michigan in 2020, I took up an interest in prepper literature. So if the Days of Noah ilk come for my family, and I'm the only survivor, I have a better chance of escaping to more defensible territory. They may not be literal zombies, but having your every impulse brought to you courtesy of the mouth of Hell itself is pretty close. Social decay has already taken a toll. It began when many were living in excess. Famines and government terrorist-engineered shortages will only bring the ugly out in everyone even faster! Decadence begets desperation and debasement.

Even then, ask what you're surviving for, and for what you truly live. I'd want to know what ideas and other things I could contribute to the world for the better, and why God needs me here. Otherwise, why not simply shrug one's shoulders and die? That existential dilemma is just as true in times of scarcity as in times of plenty.

That's your deeper dilemma too, whether you're ready to think that deeply yet or not. It's a truth that really doesn't care what you or I deem comfortable.

Along the way, don't sweat about what gets you the flattery of braindead simps. Be more concerned with the eternal, but secondarily, what will convince some employer in a field that won't so easily go extinct in the event of social collapse, or will convince some ad hoc tribe, that they'd be fools to exclude you.

This, you can build. Your looks will abandon you. But if you have enough skills to self-empower, you'll hardly miss your looks.

Men may want to sleep with you now. But when they're starving and society is dead, they'll obey the granny who knows how to purify water and teach them archery to hunt squirrels with.

Tell your vanity: "I'm getting on. Nothing stops this train. You're welcome to join me for as long as you like."

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

you are basing your self worth on other people. So you want feel accepted. To me, that is related to your personality and how you want to be connected to others, appreciated and values.

That sounds normal but as well messed up... too much.

I'd explore within yourself why you feel such a strong need for connection to others and how to do that in a healthy way. Also evaluate why you feel so strongly about looks and separation.

Part of the answer is in the challenges we all face as human beings, separated and yet we were once part of everything. That to me is explored in "religions" and I found value and answer in Jesus Christ. You have to get your world view in order so it feels good, that's up to you to sort out.

Psychology can help... but it doesn't seem to cover lover very well. the Bible does. I question if your parenting was sound. Some of these issues I'm seeing in our young daughter, so I see it as normal "challenges" of separation/connection. But if you don't have good parenting around you or parental traumas, then that contribute to issues in self image.

Good luck to you on your jouney through life!

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Aging is a part of life, although it's not favorable these days for many reasons, just know that it's better to grow old than to die young. Aging is a blessing and it's a new chapter in life, as you age you will gain more experiences which will shape and help you become a more matured adult. I know women become insecure about aging based off what men do or say, but don't let it get you down. When I turned 30 I was excited and bummed a little but I'm thankful that God has given me 30 wonderful years on earth. Think of all people who never made it to 30 or in your case 24, if they had the opportunity I guarantee they would love to be in your place. So be happy and make the best of it. Share that moment with friends and family.

SeriouslyFunny00 · Accepted Answer

Maybe get bitten by a vampire, lol kidding.

I'm 19, and excited for the upcoming years. Do you know that as you age, people tend to respect and listen to you more? Find aging as an advantage in the future. Think about Brooke Shields, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta Jones, they're all gorgeous when they're young but they're still gorgeous today. Aging is something you'll never run away from, and we should find the beauty that comes from it.

The world doesn't revolve around pleasing men/women. One can be single, young, and gorgeous but mean... and that'll still lower their market value. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Life is about having a purpose, making differences, and it's not just about the age. ;)

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You need to recognize that most of us have some of that fear when we are younger. As soon as you get "undeniably" older, you will recognize that guys your age have also changed, but that you still find those guys attractive. And thy will still feel the same way about you.

When I look at an 18 or 20 year old girl, I can see that she is attractive but I also know that she is young, inexperienced, perhaps immature, and doesn't like many of the things that I like. But I can see a lady like this

and I also see a beautiful woman with whom I could actually have an enjoyable relationship.

Summeroflove · Answer

I understand that it’s scary. If you need help see a professional who can help you. You’re still young right now. It’s easier said then done. But try to live in the present. Not in the past and not in the future

Anonymous · Answer

That is a hard thing to do as far as offering you advice. Have you thought about therapy or something. I mean because everyone can tell you to use moisturizers, creams, etc, but there’s more rooted into your thoughts there than just that. Was your mom the same way? I see so many women in their 40’s who still try to act like they’re in their 20’s or 30’s. People say you’ll be fine which may be true but aren’t living your life. A lot of men will say the same but most men aren’t concerned about getting old like women are. That’s cause. A lot of women see their value in their looks, that may be because of men because we tend to want younger looking females. As you get older those looks slowly decrease as far as from men who find you attractive. It could be an age thing as well being that you’re so young. As time goes on your thoughts change, things that matter to you now that seem like a big deal aren’t. If this is truly a big deal I’d suggest talking to a professional. Maybe there’s a reason why. Dad left mom as she got older I don’t know your situation. I will say there are a lot of older women who look good, but just how many of them are getting married at that age is a different thing.

DJB72 · Answer

I turned 50 this year. You need to remember that what quality men look for changes over time as well as we mature.

If a guy is only interested in your looks you shouldn't be wasting time with him anyway. You're worth more than that. A quality Man won't just say he wants to be with you because of your smile and your tits. He's going to look at your character because he's cognisant that looks can change in a heartbeat.

Even older guys with younger women actually look at character not just your body. I'm fortunate to have a good friend who's mother is a week younger than me. My friend is in her mid 20s and a wonderful woman to spend time with. Her beauty shines through from inside. She's got a great figure and a killer smile, but the first day I met her what I saw was in her eyes, not her bra. We're just friends because I'm married. If I wasn't, her character I saw that first time we met would 100% be what I'd look for in a woman.

My wife isn't conventionally "attractive" but she's beautiful because her character shines through. We met when I was 30 and she was 29 and I proposed on our first date. I don't regret it.

Aging isn't something to fear. Embrace it. Make it your bitch. It's going to happen so make it on your terms and make it fun!

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it is helpful to be afraid and you can't force things to happen but it actually is a real problem and no amount of people telling you not to worry or that its all bullshit is going to change that.

Its not like your attractiveness or 'value' is going to drop off a cliff one day but as time goes by it is going to decline, but more importantly the days of your life will be slipping away so if what you want is a husband and a family etc or even just building a life and making a home with someone then you should be trying to make that happen, you can do that for example by only dating men who are serious about doing that.

No doubt I am going to take all manner of flak for saying this but the fact is that you get one shot at life and with a great many things if you miss the boat, thats it you dont get another shot at it, so try not to do anything stupid and do what you can to make your shots count.

Some people do find love later in life, but who wants that? Certainly its better than being trapped inside a relationship which isn't right but it's still objectively much worse than finding your life partner early on and reaping all of the benefits of that.

People want to tell you that your life can begin at 40 etc or that none of this shit matters but what that really means is that you can still make things work when playing at a disadvantage or when having joined the game late and that if you dont like the situation you are in then you should try to change it, the idea being never give up and that's all fine and good but it is ignoring the reality that it is suboptimal and that if there is something you want it is way way better to have it early on and enjoy it for longer than to win the lottery the day before you die.

N192K001 · Answer

Imagine the alternative: dying young.  You're alive, having survived for as long as you have. Be happy. Not everyone born your in the same day can say the same. I recently realized my supposed delusional infant-era dream supposedly full of factual & historical inaccuracies was an actual memory:  I could have died at the age of 3.  I  nearly plu nged into my death, onto cement from 3 whole stories down  pushing open what I mistakenly thought was the hatch of a kids' window… that was actually the safety-barrier for a built-in hole for a box-type air-conditioning unit. You're alive. Rejoice! Make the most of life. Aging is part of it. (I'm in my early 30's, but have some white-hairs already!)

Greedier · Answer

Try to think positively about the process of aging up.
Look at the bright side, aging means you're healthy as heck and more alive than ever. Always on the go and only getting wiser.

And hey, you can age like fine wine. Just don't lose track and keep always taking care of yourself and your health.

P. S.: 24 is really young by the way

HighValue · Answer

Try to find someone that will make you happy long term and be compatible with you within the next 6 years. Also, don't have casual sex, get tattoos, or do drugs, because all of those things make someone much less desirable too.

Sitting around worrying about something while doing nothing to change your situation doesn't help. Try being proactive and put in effort to find what you want instead of waiting around hoping it will just fall in your lap with no effort.

In the end, each person is responsible for their own decisions in life, and THEY are the ones that have to live with the consequences of those choices.

glennos89 · Answer

You will never loose your value because your value isn't what you can on the outside!! Your true value is your personality!!! Not how you look or how pretty and young you look!

Don't let social-media, the news or movies on tv make you believe that you have to be young and pretty to be valuable because that's what they want you to believe but it's complete bullshit tbh

True value is on the inside!!! No mather how you look or how old you are!! Don't let anybody fool you by letting you believe anything else!!! ♥️

Jenny-Marie · Answer

I think most of us go through that stage. If you are happy how you look now, keep smiling and as you age the smile will show through and there is no reason why you can't remain beautiful.

If men judge you purely on "young" beauty, they should remember a few things. True beauty comes from within and as we age, most of us are very happy with a lady that suits our age.

To help yourself retain your looks, don't smoke, don't do drugs, sun just in moderation and alcohol in moderation. Do moisturise and do let your skin breathe. Makeup can enhance looks but it can also destroy or hide the real person

Light909090 · Answer

I don’t like you do you know why well it’s because i don’t know you I didn’t even know you existed
And Who cares that your aging when Scientists make a
Pill that grants Immortality never dying you can live your life on here forever being a weak Person that has to live and survive on this earth and if aliens invade And decide to enslave humanity You will be a slave and if a alien wants to make babies with the immortal Girl then he will because you have no right to defend yourself why is that well because your a human a weak little thing that doesn’t have much muscle compared to any other species that exist you would be Squashed like a bug by any Alien that decides to Boss you around

Anonymous · Answer

Well... it’s different for a woman. But I sort of have embraced aging. It’s sort of nice just accepting that I’m grayer and have more wrinkles. In the past I used to kill myself in the gym and compete in sports. I’d diet and eat protein shakes and blah blah blah. None of it ever got women approaching me or chasing after me the way I would like. I didn’t do all these things to be attractive, or rather try to look attractive, but it did play a part.

Now I just don’t give a damn. I know that I’m basically invisible to women now because I was mostly invisible to women then. 🤷‍♂️

nrm736 · Answer

Face it and accept it. You have to do it anyway if you want to live a happy life.

You are in your prime now, but you will change: your body, your way of thinking, and the same is happening to everyone else around you.

You're feeling yourself pretty right now and that's cool. But it doesn't mean you can't be pretty years later. Also you will realize that you have values beyond that.

Sure you can slow down your aging if you take a good care of yourself. But do it for yourself. It's essential to feel yourself well and comfortable in your own skin. And that's highly attractive.

I get that it can be scary, but don't be afraid. Aging doesn't have only downsides. You'll realize that.

RealMarek · Answer

If you avoid the wrong sort of men and have more to offer than your looks, there will be men who value you just as much when you are older as they would now. Men close to your age or older will find you physically attractive when you are older, especially if you keep in half-way decent physical shape.

petitedollbabee · Answer

It’s just one of those things that you have to accept and get over it. No one wants to get older and have their looks change. But it’s part of mortality - we all have to deal with it, you can’t freeze time and stay the way you are forever. Unless you find a vampire or god to turn you immortal 🤫

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Don’t believe in age. Seasons don’t fear the Reaper; neither do the wind nor the Sun nor rain. We can be like them! Come on, don’t fear the Reaper!

Realise that fear is pretty much the same as excitement. If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing. Always look on the bright side of death just before you draw your terminal breath.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm in my mid 40's... and I can easily pass for someone your age. A girl that approached me a few months ago said she thought I was 25...

Watch this video. What you've been programmed with since birth is that xx will happen when you reach xx age. There is a reason why everyone is told this and programmed. Isn't it a little strange that practically everyone is singing the same tune?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vFjsG5b3cxg

PositiveNote · Answer

I'll tell you something: there is something great for you at every age level! You know the old saying "older but wiser"? The wiser part gets much better, and you start to see things a lot more clearly, and you can enjoy life even if you're not young anymore!

Iron_Man · Answer

You are so young I wouldn’t even give it a second thought. Just use your moisturizers keep working out drink a lot of water take your vitamins. That will help you a lot and get a lot of sleep

J2ohhhhh · Answer

In Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Knyagina Betsy said that she'll engage with religion once she's lost her beauty, many women in their 30s push social causes and charity for the same reason, and also cus they ignored their concerns and couldn't come up with anything better when they started to lose their social relevance.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

You can grow up & realize that if your put too much effort into what others think of you that you'll never be happy with yourself.

Aging happens to everyone, even in death the decay process shows how long the person's been dead (another aging process), if you're afraid of aging then you're afraid of life & what lies around the corner.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Accept that it going to happen. Shit I'm 43 and up to about 9 years ago I could pass for early 20's! People still mistake me for late 20's even now, but I sure as hell feel my age when it comes to my back and hips. Just like death, age is a comin..

bubblegunnn · Answer

Why girl? This is life and and we should accept it.. unless u try to live healthy and do another workout and skincare for aging, itll help tho

Sour-rose · Answer

Ask yourself why you're scared of the inevitable?

Twalli · Answer

You only value yourself on your appearance. Find other things to value yourself with, like personality, sense of humor, etc. Then you realize that people will still like you even when your looks fail.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Aging is inevitable. Inner beauty is eternal.

Makeushiver · Answer

When you consider the alternative it doesn't seem bad.

exitseven · Answer

Eat right, exercise a lot, dont smoke or use illegal drugs and have a positive attitude. We all get old but you can make the most of how old you are.

Andrew2128 · Answer

It's normal to be scared of getting older it's all right things will turn out as you get older you'll start realizing you're starting getting wiser just let it happen let it roll on by and death is not the end it's just the beginning

Gangactivities911 · Answer

I don't know but when u find out lmk lol. But fr tho ur best bet is to take finding a good man seriously asap. Remember that men develop wife goggles and however u were when u first met the guy will be permanently engrained in his brain

Adam1978 · Answer

Accept the truth and do the best with what you have, so find the right guy now, not in the future when you do have a lower value.

AngelOfLight258 · Answer

As you get older your priorities change and self-image won't be as important.

flautistnaturist · Answer

This guy’s people seem to have a refreshing perspective: Maybe it helps you.

Guy13 · Answer

Live life do that you are busy and you will not even care that you are aging. All men are degenerative by Nature. Why you so concerned ⁉️

Rikastin · Answer

To encourage you, I can tell that there are hundred guys for every insecure woman out there but not vice versa. In the light of newest research women are more picky while men find various different features very attractive. Dating is always risky but it might be releasing just to know that there are men for every young, old, shy, confident, chubby, skinny, talkative and silent woman.

maximumpower · Answer

Start worrying about aging when you hit 50. Until then, enjoy life and make the most of it. Worrying will only serve to ruin the best years you have.

MzAsh · Answer

These men who might like you less as you age - what makes their opinion so valuable to you?

zagor · Answer

Find other values in life beyond appearance. And unless you are really into cycling through a lot of men, what does it matter if men like you less, if you can find one that sticks.

Tina19 · Answer

Age is just a number be young and lively at heart😉

DarkWinterNights · Answer

You can’t be afraid of things you can’t change. It happens to everyone. Just take care of yourself and learn from other peoples mistakes. You’ll be fine.

Shy_Steve · Answer

If your scared now, How are going to feel in your 30s or 40s? Just try focusing on other things that you like about your life and things you enjoy doing.

panamared1 · Answer

aging gracefully is better than the alternatives

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If you take care of yourself you can keep your looks.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I think the best way is probably to remind yourself that you're aging, but so is everyone else.

242plusInfinity · Answer

Live. Get a husband. Then you won't care anymore.

es20490446e · Answer

You can either think how old you look compared with 10 years ago. Or you can think how young you look compared with what you will be in 10 years.

userxvi · Answer

The number of women in their 40's that I have found attractive is MANY. If you take care of yourself right you can stay beautiful for a very long time.

ALPHABLACK · Answer

SUICIDE at younger age, so technically you never age after that

Jamesshinobi · Answer

if your scared of aging at 24 then you'll be too afraid to live. i have underwear older then you.

Berethor · Answer

A legit worry, specially for women, men get old, women get replaced trope.

Keepitreal007 · Answer

Enjoy each day. Age is whatever you make it. I’m married for 26 years and getting older but my dream was to grow old with my wife and we are doing that. Life is good.

In_Trance · Answer

You've done it every day for the past 24 years I don't understand what you're scared of at this point

monkeynutts · Answer

Start strength training now, three times a week, for the rest of your life.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

By achieving goals. Enjoying what you do so that your mind doesn't have to consider that a bad idea

TroyDT · Answer

As Bette Davis once said, "Growing old ain't for sissies."

Jouth · Answer

just stop ageing. Use lotion and work out

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I'm 58 and still not scared. How to stop? ---> grow up :)

lorenzomichael · Answer

Try convincing yourself whatever age your at is the new 25. However if that doesn't work just pour yourself a drink and say to hell with it.

TrillXHippy · Answer

I’m the 2nd oldest person at my job and I’m only 27. It’s all good

Gloree · Answer

Get married fast if you have that fear. Don't waste time. Lolzz

How can I stop being scared of aging?

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