Guys, If women often try to friendzone you (but you won’t tolerate that bs) is that a sign there is something wrong with you or society in general?

[Anonymous]

No asshole responses please. thanks

Over the years I’ve intentionally gotten increasingly more (consensually) direct and aggressive if I am interested in a girl. That doesn’t mean I am cat calling or doing anything stupid/creepy. But #metoo be damned I’ll go for a kiss on a first date. If she likes it I will go for more on a second date.

The real reason I make a move is I want to make a statement vs just wanting to get laid. I’ve been this way for 10+ years. The younger me would take my time to get to know a girl (which lead to friéndzone agony more than once). But the older me had to make a choice between one of lesser evils.

About 2/3rds of the time I will some action and this lead to three past long term relationships. The other 1/3 of the time they will stop talking to me which is fine. Much rather be ghosted than friéndzoned.

But deep down this is not how I want to go about it. There were a few women i really did try to get to know. Then i painfully discovered that many grown ass women in their 30s still think they can get away with the friéndzone. It was infuriating/depressing

I really would like to get to know a girl slowly and let it build up to something sustaining. But i had horrifying friéndzone experiences in the past. Is there a way to do this right? Has anyone else had a grown ass woman (30+ years old) try to friendzone them?

[Guy13]

If one takes clear actions others will allow and often follow

[Asker]

And clear actions is always taking direct action when it comes to my life unfortunately. Yeah it works but I never in my life had something truly grow into something. If I don’t hit it within 3 dates then there is 95% I am friendzoned.

[Guy13]

Alright... I have the opposite. If I come to fast I get sent to the corner to the F-you Zone. There's nothing "friendly" about that move !! ;-)

[Asker]

Ha. Well hence my youthful paranoia to take it “friendly/slow” in the early days.

But I have never in my life had a gradual romancé. Never. I wanted to but it lead to NO romance via the friendzone every single time.

If I had to choose between the “F-you zone” vs. the “friendzone” I will take the F-you zone 10 times out 10.

Sure that hurts too. But at least is over fast. The friendzone on the other hand is soul sucking agony. It leaves long term damage too.

[Guy13]

Yep Friendzone is actually F-U Zone where all the castaways are tossed who think they still have a chance. They’re important cause a little creepin and likin and story following is always good for the girlfriend…”I don’t know who they are Babe,…but somebody likes these pics…it’s probably one of Derrick’s women.”

[Asker]

Well again I need to know where I stand. There is only one way to find out. Talk is cheap. We got to (consensually) make a move.

I’ve been cheeked 2-3 times on dates in the last five years. It stung. But at least I knew I wasn’t wasting my time. These weren’t “forcible” kisses either but I did go for it.

Funny I just recently saw a post by some poor oblivious 19 year old kid about all of this. I felt really sorry for him because it was obvious he was brainwashed in his youth to kiss women’s asses about being “friends first” (cough).

[Asker]

Why did my female best friend stop talking to me after I asked her on a date? ↗

[Guy13]

👍👍

[Jamie05rhs]

I think if a girl friendzones you, it probably just means that they don't know what they want. There's really no fixing that, though.

[Asker]

Well my response is “hey it was nice to meet you but I don’t do the friéndzone. Best of luck though.”

I do not know about you but I have NEVER had a woman give me the decision I wanted if I stuck around “as a friend”.

However there have been a few times I made myself scarce and they come crawling back. It’s not common but I had it happen at least twice. But you have to turn away and mean it for real. Even if you don’t hear from her again you left with your self dignity. Also it’s a (figurative) backhanded slap some women really need. Grown ass women should know better that no hetero man will ever approach them just to be friends.

[In_Trance]

If you accept being friends, yes that's a sign that something is wrong with you

[Asker]

And I don’t. Hell no. But when grown ass women assume I’m going to be okay with that bullshit I find myself getting pissed. But maybe some women try to friendzone any guy that treats them halfway decent (and they don’t feel attracted to) despite knowing damn well he’s interested.