What are you doing? You're better than this.
First and foremost, you're both toxic and should end things. You cannot win with a losing formula. Play the game all you want you will lose.
My advice is sit down and create a plan on how to have a harmonic relationship. Don't chuck it up to cliches like most people do. They say one thing and do another. I highly suggest starting with kindness and courtesy/consideration first. Really sit down and think about what is kindness. What is courtesy? Don't forget vision either. You have to both know exactly how you want the relationship to look like. Don't play around with this. This all sounds dumb but if you do it you will realize it's genius and it will help you select a partner much more confidently. You'll know what to look for and you'll know what you both need to do. Most people are out there winging everything there is to do with their relationship. You two dated already and you two still don't know how you both want the relationship to look. Clearly you two have not had such discussions and commitments.
Okay first of all I had a four year relationship before this guy. Believe me I know what I want. It just has to be over between us as it’s one sided u can talk till the cows come up I. Person and it will do nothing until the other person is willing to change their behaviour
This is why I am glad to be too ugly to ever date, females get mad at guys for doing exactly the same thing they do, it's bullshit it you sit here and say you never like random guys photos on Facebook or Instagram especially while in a relationship but you feel the guy shouldn't be able to at all and that's fucked up. I hear females at work talk about how they cheated on a guy and then get mad and hit him or throw tantrums because they apparently "regret and worry" about what they did like that makes any sense and if the guy finds out and cheats on them in return it's like only the guys cheating is wrong.
Females on the daily keep showing me reasons to dislike and distrust any female ever, I'm getting too glad to be too ugly for any female to want to date me.
First off I don’t do any of those things u describe and stop saying your ugly everyone is beautiful In there own way! I hate men but u don’t hear me complaining about it not all women are bad same with men so stop with the rant
I don't hate females, I don't hate anyone, I don't even hate myself, I don't have room for hate, it's too big and heavy of an emotion to ever put on my shoulders.
I also didn't say all females, it's just easier in my experience to distance myself from and distrust females in general because even the nicest females I have ever known have even looked at me with disgust in their eyes or have told me in a way that I am too ugly and I guarantee you'd be no different if we passed by each other. I wish I could switch lives with people for just one day so they could experience what my daily life is like, the looks and the comments I hear, there's nothing beautiful about my face, everyone who sees it can't all be lying.
Did you ever talk to him about how he's not allowed to like women's photos or women in general after he started dating you?
Because if you didn't set that boundary and expectation, he wouldn't have known he wasn't supposed to.
But also, liking things on social media - creators of the opposite gender included - isn't really a big deal for most people. I'd say he's got valid points in here, especially if you never communicated your expectations.
If you have some strict rules about what your boyfriends are and aren't allowed to do once they start dating you, you've gotta tell them.
I don't know, I don't mind if my partner likes social media things. A like on Insta isn't like they're meeting that person somewhere to makeout. I like my friend's pics and he likes mine - we're just platonic friends and he has a partner. I just like seeing what he's up to and reading about his adventures.
Yea I set boundaries from the beginning he did stick to them for a year and then lost interest in me and was back doing it again and hiding his phone so yeah I don’t mind him looking but these are all girls he met after we broke up girls he was probably texting ye know just think it’s a bit disrespectful
Then break up with him. He probably thought you'd forget after a year. He's not gonna suddenly go back to respecting you.
His text about how you're not going to change is the big hint, here. He only listened for a year in hopes you'd change - he never had interest in actually respecting your boundaries.
True but I don’t want to change I want what I want which is respect and a guy to be loyal to me is that so wrong?
I don't think you're wrong at all. Hearing the background of his relationship with these girls, you're very right to be concerned about his continued contact.
Unfortunately a lot of men have a hard time understanding boundaries in relationships, especially if they're used to just always getting their way.
I still hold my opinion you should break up. If he was involved with them before, he's looking to continue that kind of relationship and is trying to see how much he can get away with.
Don't let him get away with it and leave him if you think he'll cheat - because he probably will.
He has cheated on me when I was dating him which he denoys to be but I know this is sad but I made a fake account of a girl and texted him and he was begging her (me) to meet up with him while he was telling me he loved me he sent photos of himself to her and begged to go cinema with her I know it was wrong of me to do that but I had to know if he was loyal and when I confronted him about it he told me he knew it was me but he didn’t
You're not still dating him, right? Cheaters are incapable of change.
I tried to date him again but it was impossible as he was always focused on other girls and that’s why u can see by the screenshots we just can’t work out
Yeah for sure. Cut contact and move on. You'll find better men out there.
Well, if anything he is showing you exactly why it’s almost always a bad idea to get back with your ex. No real change has happened, you’re already arguing, and he’s not taking the necessary steps to get you back which is not doing things that caused problems before. I bet when you two were together you were doing all this watching his page, monitoring what he does, what pics he likes, etc., and if so then aren’t you tired of it? Aren’t you tired of feeling disrespected or like you can’t trust him? Moving on is hard but at least then you have peace of mind. My advice is to close that door, and stop making it his responsibility to let you go, especially when you’re still hanging on. It’s up to you to control your emotions, know a relationship with him is not smart and move on.
Honestly the best answer I have received so far on this thank you so much your right I am tired of it and yeah I always was watching my back with him because I didn’t trust him he gave me every reason not too thank you so much for taking the time and reading my question and to see I’m not crazy thank you so much 😊
No worries girl! I spent 3 years on and off with a guy going through exactly this before I also got tired and realized I don’t want anyone I have to argue with or tell over and over to stop doing hurtful things. You eventually learn that when he doesn’t correct the issue the first, even the second time then he never will. You deserve a much better guy, one who does right by you from the start, and one day you will find him! I didn’t find mine until late last year when I turned 30 lol there’s hope☺️🙏
Awh girl I’m honestly so happy for u ! No one needs that crap in there life I was always getting attacked because I felt things like if I Cried over me and him it was stop being a baby everything was always my fault. I had to accept him kissing girls, texting girls, being with girls I had to accept everything he did in order to have an inch from him then when I confront him and say I’ve enough he hits me with I’m negative and I’m depressing no one will ever love me all this crap. Omg the things I had to put up with and deal with and I had no one to help feck sake but look on wards and up wards
Thank youuu☺️ and from the pics you posted, I could totally see how this all was happening. He’s one of those “faultless” men who takes no responsibility for their actions and even when you put solid proof and facts in front of him, he will still gaslight you and make you feel like you’re uncaring, immature, crazy etc etc. It gets so exhausting to where even the positive things about him don’t mean anything when majority of the time he’s like that. I’m really glad you’re in a place to walk away, or even if you aren’t yet then I hope you’re getting close to it lol. Walking away is one of the hardest things, but once you get over the painful part the rest is so easy. If you’re really done, then you’ll be ok, and free to receive whomever you’re truly meant to be with☺️
Awh you couldn’t have described him better lol enough is enough I’m walking away for real I hope all this pain was worth it one day 😃
Opinion
15Opinion
I have 2 questions that I need the answer for before I can evaluate this situation.
1) Was he liking other girls pictures when you two were together, or after you broke up?
2) When you were together, did you post any bikini/saucy pictures on Instagram, or did you not?
He was liking girls pictures and following girls when I was first with him yes and I tolerated for a good while until he started telling me he loved me and I said well if u do can u stop following other women and liking there pics please as it’s disrespectful and I don’t like it which he did stop now don’t get me wrong he still looked which I’m fine with as that’s lads being lads and no I never posted any bikini pics or sexy pics when we were together as that’s something I don’t do in general I just post the odd selfie that’s about it
So he was doing it before the two of you were official, but he stopped after you made it official? You said "which he did stop now, don't get me wrong he still looked as that's lads being lads". My interpretation of it as that he stopped after you guys were broken up because he wants you back? From what I read in the text, he said he likes pictures of both women and men, so I'm not sure if they are female acquaintances or random booty models. Either way, the only way this can be inappropriate is if he is liking their thirst traps or something, and if he is not then it means that you might be too clingy. If it's a total deal-breaker for you, you can move on from the relationship and make it clear for the next one from the jump that this is how it's gonna be, but we're not gonna be hypocrites and not allow the guy to like pictures of other girls while you go out and post thirst traps for other guys to look at.
Hopefully this helps.
Okay you read that completely wrong. I don’t post thirst traps first off. And when we were seeing each other he was liking girls pics and following random girls I told him to stop and which he did then when we broke up he was liking and following girls. He wants to get back together with me but continues this behaviour knowing I don’t like it and doesn’t see it as disrespectful he doesn’t like lads pics only his mates he likes girls pics that he’s interested in other wise he wouldn’t like their photos that’s being honest. These are girls he would happily date so I do have a problem with it
Hold up. So you didn't break up with him over this, it was for a different reason right? Why are you worried about what he was doing when he was NOT with you? You guys aren't back together, far as I'm concerned he is single. If you don't want him back, you don't have to take him back, to to tell this man that what he is doing is "disrespectful" to you is outrageous, because he isn't officially with you, even if you are in the talking stage.
He left me and well he hooked up a few times during the break up and if he’s single he should leave me alone and move on him self instead of playing head games with me telling me he cares when he clearly doesn’t and it’s disrespectful because he told me he wants to get back with me
You want my advice ma'am? It seems like you're clearly not over him, so do yourself a favor and let go. People don't owe you an explanation, that's the real world. If he is playing games with you, he ain't for you, but you have to take accountability for entertaining the nonsense. I maintain that single people do shit like this, just like girls finesse guys as well. Is it shitty behavior? Yes. Is there anything you can do to change that? No. If he can't move on, do it yourself for your own good and take some time off until you are ready to date again.
I actually liked the girls' answers because they're right then got out of the question, but I remembered it says "Claire", correct me if I'm wrong but I have a hunch you're the girl I was talking with about her shitty ex who guilts her and how she's made a lot of mistakes because she wants love, am I right? I'd be disappointed but I still want to know
My ex doesn’t guilt me he just crap talks me to believe he loves and cares and I have made loads of mistakes sticking things with this guy and love is non existent for me atm
And that's why Ladies and Gents, don'm make "relationships" over the Social Platform/Media... Same like being married and u get caught up watching an Erotic movie... All Hell breaks loose...
I rather keep my "devices" just for work and fun, but nothing serious... 🤷♂️
People fight over the dumbest things these days.
I've had gfs send me random lesbian porn before, just to find out what kinds of stuff I liked doing, what kinks I had, or what kind of outfits looked hot.
People only fight over this sort of thing if they already don't feel loved, and then it feels like the models are your replacements, rather than just "couple idea fodder for the bedroom".
It’s not models he’s liking it’s girls he’s met after we broke up
If it's women he personally knows and communicates with, or had past relationships or flings with, thats a huge red flag.
I thought you meant models.
No I wouldn’t care if they were models but just women he knows and probably had a thing with or whatever see I don’t know anything about any of them all I know is he met them somehow after he broke up with me and he thinks it’s fine to like there pictures and love me which I don’t like as I feel uncomfortable with it
So you're upset that he's liking other girl's pictures? Isn't that the whole reason y'all have social media and post pictures of yourself; to get validation and likes from people? I doubt you're all that fussed about all the random guys who like/comment on your pics, even if they have gfs. Seems like you're just insecure and needy. Perhaps you'd be happier with a guy who doesn't use social media.
Your a typical lad I used my instagram for me to express my self more women than men like my stuff so it’s not about being insecure or needy like to your hearts content but don’t tell me u love and care about me when clearly it’s not that way when your giving other females your attention when mine is zero
girl... you're in the wrong. its not that serious. what you SHOULD be checking are his dms. Is he reaching out to women via dm. is he leaving hearts under girls comments. if not let it go. he can like what he wants to on his accounts.
I’m not allowed on his phone and he hides his phone so it’s all I have lol
sis that's a red flag. like yes you can have your privacy but to hide a phone. red flag. I hope you know that.
I know it’s a red flag but what could I do he said he doesn’t believe in having to show his phone he says there needs to b trust
but he doesn't trust YOU if he's hiding his phone. don't let him manipulate you like that. trust is a two way street. I bet you wouldn't mind giving him your phone. so why won't he mind giving you his phone? its because he's hiding something.
im not saying y'all have to look in each others phone every day. but if its that serious where he feels the need to HIDE it from you yes that's a red flag. honestly I don't know what you should do. once the trust is gone its really difficult to repair. im not saying leave him but if you're ready for a lot of hard work try to fix it. but if you feel like this is beneath you. move on
I always offer my phone to him as there isn’t anything on it. And he won’t look at it because he doesn’t want to be checking my phone. I don’t care anymore because let the guilt if there is any war him up to the core as u can only act for so long before u find out who the actor really is
Looking at your texts, both of you are acting childish and spoiled. I'd be amazed if you two ever had and kind of meaningful relationship, and I seriously doubt there's anything in your future.
Cool beans
u You’re both toxic and childish. Please, both of you, stay away from relationships until you work through your personal issues.
Cheers
The whole thing seems like it was horribly handled. Liking pics isn’t really that big of a deal, and he’s handling your request to stop liking pics like shit.
He’s not stopping liking girls pics to me I think it’s disrespectful as I’m being ignored while he can go look at other girls he knows and like there pics but I guess it’s just the world we live in no respect is a thing apparently
But the thing is I set terms long ago and he doesn’t think my terms are good he thinks I’m jealous and insecure. But why should I settle for a life where he can do what he wants with women and I just wait around for him? And what you mean. Better lines to draw?
What I mean is that liking a picture is an extremely small thing. I like pictures of women all the time who I have no interest in meeting with whatsoever. So because it’s such a seemingly small thing that you’re taking offense to, I’m saying that you might find more peace in your relationship by asking your boyfriend to not do something more significant.
He already knows my feelings on this that I don’t like it
My advice is this: don’t believe a man will change and never get involved with an ex again. This is always the result. I guess you could say I’ve been there done that… Multiple times.
Awh I think we all have done it gal but he won’t do it again to me
An ex isn't the problem lol. Their relationship is toxic because they are both two toxic people who don't know what they are doing.
Cheers lad
I don’t Believe Any of this.
Looks like You have a really old Outdated phone enough that it looks like this was all edited and created on a computer and the name Jack
I mean Come on if you’d gonna lie At least make it believable.
Here do u want my passwords it’s real you d#ck look my ex up if u will
I have no Interest in your Ex
Well then stop talking s#it u don’t know about
I’ve dated Girls that Wanted me to be friends with them On Instagram so I can see there life and I told them the same thing I Have no Interest in being your friend on social media
Especially since I Don’t use Social media I done deleted all my social media accounts long time ago and when I tell girls that they continue bothering me with it
Too cool for school u are
Yeah I’d rather read a book or Read a Newspaper than be Have an account with those Dumb social media
I’m a Man Not a social butterfly 🦋
Liking girls pictures doesn't mean he doesn't respect you. I like looking a certain porn stars, it doesn't mean I don't respect my girlfriend. I think you are wrong and overreacting
These are girls he’s met after breaking up with me not porn star these are girls he’s been either dating or texting or what ever
Well since we aren’t on good terms and he’s broke my trust I honestly want him to respect me this time as I had to put up with a lot
This social media dating and fighting is bollocks. Just talk face-to-face. Pardon an old fart for asking, but what's the point of all this liking business?
We have talked in person and it always results in fighting and one of us waking away. He’s liking girls pictures that he’s interested in trying to get them if he hasn’t already these are all new girls he met while he broke up with me
Do you "like" other guy's pictures on Instagram?
Nope I don’t
Shame on you for thinking you can reconcile with an ex
Thanks
Oh man that's something!
You are hurting yourself by expecting too much. Don't do that
Noted! Always expect the worse
Nooooooo... Don't expect anything! It's plain and simple. Arguments only lead to disasters.
That chat made me feel you were shouting with tears in eyes, but for what?
Also confrontation over text is not the way, meet up, talk to each other without fighting, find a solution...
Yeah I’ve been hurting a lot and fighting for us while he tells me I go around the same things all the time and he’s tired of hearing it and I’m also tired of saying the same stuff to him and that’s in person we just fight non stop over the same things it’s like he wants me to accept who he is and what he does and that’s it. But what he does doesn’t make me happy he just hurts me all the time I’ve tried to ignore all the stuff but it’s too much like he won’t even tell his family he’s seeing me even though I asked him could he talk to them so we could at least go to his house I haven’t been in his house in a year like am I crazy or what?
I can understand. DM me if possible. I don't want to type things here.
Do you post thirst traps?
Hell no
Ok, then you chilling
🤣🤣🤣
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