Is a 19 year old virgin girl attractive or seen as weird?

Question

I have lots of self esteem issues accompanied with depression and I believe that loving someone would be difficult if I can’t love myself properly. I frequently get hit on even asked on dates, but I always say no. It’s because I think I’m not good enough- I’m fighting this half of my life xdd but it’s getting better, I think. So I was wondering that once I find someone I like, would the guy loose interest if he knew I have no dating/sexual experience?

JadedandConfused · Accepted Answer

The right guy who is meant for you won't care, he might even like that aspect of you more because all or most of your first experiences will be with him, and that is special in so many ways and he'll love you for it. I myself lost my virginity at 23 years old, and while sometimes I regret not having taken that leap earlier in life, I am content with it. I have always struggled with self-esteem, depression, anxiety, you name it, but also held this belief that I would wait until I loved myself more and found someone who I was ready to give myself to. I also made it a point to avoid being the broken-hearted girl who spread her legs to every Tom, Dick and Harry who showed me a little attention just to throw me away afterwards like I saw happen to so many of my friends. I was actually broken up with and cheated on most of my early dating career because I WOULDN'T sleep with someone. I ended up losing my v-card to my best friend of 12 years at the time, who was 4 years younger than I, and I thought it was perfect and meant to be... and he STILL did to me what I had been avoiding for all those years; bed me and then tell me we should just be friends and nothing more but a casual lay.

It's a hard path to choose to follow, but you should always do it for YOURSELF and not for someone else. And I won't sugarcoat it, if you tell the man you choose that you're inexperienced, he's gonna be one of two guys; either want you BECAUSE you're a virgin and he'll see you as a conquest, or he'll be the man who sees you as the rare find you are and will do his best to keep you, because it takes a special kind of woman to hold on to your virtue for the right person or moment. Or the third option, which is he'll not want to mess around with you because he prefers women who are heavily experienced, and really that's the guy you want to avoid anyway so no loss there. And your first time may not go as planned, the man you choose may end up being a fond (or not so fond) memory, and that's okay. Most of us girls had a bad first-time experience but it's just a part of life. The next man I chose to give myself to I did for ME and me alone, and he's now my fiancé and the father of my child. I did lie and told him "I haven't done much" and heavily implied I was still a virgin because I was so hurt by my first experience and refused to call it my first time (I just wanted to forget it) and he was really into it for the reasons I said. Most of my firsts were with him and he felt special, even honored, that I chose him. When I finally told him the truth, he said he had suspected I wasn't a virgin because I had a lot of trust issues and acted weird when he'd mention he popped my cherry, but he couldn't really tell otherwise cuz I'm apparently pretty tight down there 😂 he's still my second and last and that is still special, especially when most people (including my man) have had multiple sexual partners over their lives. I couldn't have gotten to him if I didn't take that first step with my ex-friend, and I actually am thankful for that little asshole because the experience let me take a leap with the love of my life I'm with today.

Just know that you ARE good enough, there's only one of you and you're so special and unique in your own way, and learn to love yourself for the amazing human being you are. It's not easy to do, but once you do, it makes you shine even brighter and you'll be turning even more heads 😉 In turn, the man who is right for you will see that and treasure every square inch of you and will love that you chose him over everyone else ❤️

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Look, I was 22 when I lost my virginity… there’s nothing weird about that. It was my choice and it’s yours as well. Having zero experience is not a deal breaker to some. Don’t rush it just to lose it. You lose it once, it’s gone forever. Make it count, make it special. Make it worth the wait. Now if the man you like can’t accept that, then he’s not the right one. You’re still young. Embrace your youth. Don’t regret it. 💕

Part2603 · Accepted Answer

No, the average 19 year old virgin girl is not weird.

You on the other hand might be. You might have issues with intimacy. And I mean in the literal sense not the euphemistic. Guys might typically want "virgin girl" who's not cynical and jaded (and loose), but if you personally come with a lot of baggage and you can't enjoy getting close to someone, getting to know someone, or flirting, or dating, or any of that stuff that comes with "dating" TM, then yeah, you might be oft putting and your relationships might crash and burn before they even get started.

You mentioned that you get attention, and you get asked out on dates. So, why aren't you going on dates? Why aren't you crushing on nice boys in your social sphere? Why aren't you making friends and hanging out? Why do you always say no?

It's not because we're all bad boys who only want one thing. I'll have you know that that's kind of a feminist myth, that men are shallow.

Yeah, your first ever date can be awkward. These feelings can be weird. A little bit uncomfortable. But you can't be afraid forever. If you deny yourself the chance to fall in love, you're denying yourself a really meaningful part of the human condition.

You say you're doing better lately, and that's good to hear. The truth is a date is really no big deal. It's fun, and you get to tell jokes and talk about movies and tv.

Just be open. Hopefully soon you'll wonder why you were ever worried at all.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Okay time out time out time out first of all quit thinking that way don't even take yourself there that is just not right I can't speak for any other guy this is the way I think about it I don't know any virgins that are single I'm single right now if I was friends with a virgin and I was single and I really really liked her I've been trying to date her just because she has that strength that I did not have she's a better person than me in many ways because I could not stop myself nor did I want to stop myself from feeling that feeling now here's the other thing if I was to go out with a virgin I would communicate to her that look I'm this age I've had sex since I was 15 and a half and I love it I enjoy it and I love making that other person feel something so beautiful all the time because that's how I show my passion my love in many ways so I would ask her I know you don't want to have sex I want to make out can we make out as a matter of fact I would like to make a deal we could make out we could do anything we wanted except for no penetration would you be willing to do that if a guy started dating you would you be willing to allow him to make out with you to touch you to do anything you wanted but no penetration to have that trust in him to be able to do that is a powerful thing I think it's a beautiful thing and I think we'd make this relationship even stronger

AmandaYVR · Answer

Are you kidding? You're ideal.  You worry way too much, girl. Try to relax.

ManOnFire · Answer

A lot  of guys are crazy about virgin girls so you'll do just fine.

Panzer21 · Answer

My last relationship frequently spoke something along the lines of "Im not good enough for you".

Ill tell you the same thing I told her.

If someone is genuinely interested in you, and wants to date you, you are good enough. If you werent, they wouldn't be asking you out.

And being a virgin at 19 isn't weird, dont fret about that.

A few tips to keep in mind for a relationship:

Be genuine, you dont want a person to fall for an ideal of you, you want them to fall for the real you.

Neither of you will be perfect.

Your partner isn't your property, they won't always act the way you want them to, and you aren't their property either. You will have to decide what behaviors you are willing to accept, and what you will not.

And your partner isn't you, there are going to be differences you will both have to compromise on or work through.

Now stop putting yourself down (easier said than done I know but work on it), get out there and have fun, good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely nothing wrong w that. To me it just tells me she’s not quick to jump into the sack w men quick like a lot of other girls do. Don’t get me wrong men love women like that as well if we’re just looking to get laid, but I think he’s more likely to take you home to his mom as opposed to a girl who has been around the block a time or two. I don’t know what the root of your self-esteem issues are but it would probably do you good to seek some therapy. You do look very cute. But I as well as a million men could tell you that everyday but you’re not going to believe it till you get professional help. by the way I love your Pusey cat! Lol

jabariw18 · Answer

If you're a man? Weird. If you're a woman? Attractive. I was 23 when I lost my virginity. Even today at 31 I struggle to get dates or sex. We live in a culture where "virgin" is an insult to men and any man who struggles to get dates is blamed for it and criticized. Women who are single are usually single by choice or people sympathize with her and assume that she's a victim of some asshole's games. I'm a good guy. Smart, thoughtful, kind, talented and incredibly honest, sometimes to a fault. I still can't get a date or anything even close to a date. And every time I mention it the natural assumption is that its my own fault or that I'm "cringe" or an "incel." In reality I just get rejected by everyone I try with. Or just outright ignored.

slatyb · Answer

At 19? If they are asking, you are plenty good enough. And no, the young man won't care. If you get a nice offer, take it. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't ask. They are mostly just as insecure as you are.

If you can, get some counseling to talk through the reasons for your poor self-esteem. Often this is a result of abusive or neglectful parents. There's nothing wrong with you. My wife and I both suffered from this at your age, believing we were unattractive and undesirable. Looking back I see two very attractive people. I had a great profile and fabulous bushy blond hair. My wife looked like a CK model.

MementoMori_ · Answer

No, definitely not.

First of all many men will love the fact that you are a virgin. It is a naturally attractive trait for most men.

Next, any guy who would be put off by this isn't really interested in you or worth pursuing. You want a guy who appreciates all of you, not just your sexual status. Someone who takes the time to get to know you and makes you feel loved so that it not only creates satisfaction for him, but for YOU too. You deserve it as much as anyone else.

Real love is a two way street. You are in it to please EACH OTHER. Not to see what you can get from the other person.

Don't settle for less.

But also, don't be afraid to date. You are as worthy as anyone else. Look for a guy who wants to get to know you, not just have sex with you.

Kekomochii · Answer

May I know where you are from? I am Asian, and in my home country, losing your virginity before marriage is viewed as a crime. People who lose their virginity before being married are considered unclean and un-pure. However, most of my friends who lost their virginity earlier than me still able to find true love and have better life than me. Whether you are a virgin or not, that doesn't necessarily imply that they will never find a real love. My point is that there is always someone out there who can accept you for who you are. Therefore just relax and with times you will find the right person. Hope this help!

Anonymous · Answer

Some of the men I've talked to were just wondering, "why?" I just laugh. Just think they were just amazed because you're beautiful and don't have a boyfriend yet. ☺️

You don't need to worry. You're still young and being a virgin at this age is completely normal. I'm confident that the real gentleman will love you just as you are. Do not be scared to take chances and fall in love.

Also take your time and avoid rushing into something that you will come to regret. I think taking your time to find the right guy is much better than rushing. You're doing the right thing. I'm doing that as well.. Take care, sweetheart! 😘🌹

nrm736 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with you being a virgin.

And you're right: you can't expect from others to like you if you don't like yourself. You should work on that a bit before you join the game. Make your peace with yourself. I'm sure you have values you like and you're proud of. Everyone has. If you're aware of them, that's attractive.

Sooner or later you have to step out of your comfort zone. Do it in small steps, at your own pace, whatever makes you comfy. Just take that first step and go out to a date, take the risk. It should be fun. Maybe it's gonna feel awkward at first, but still you can learn from it and grow as a person. You've already been asked out, so I guess boys think you're pretty. That's a start.

Eventually you'll find a decent guy who accepts you the way you are, and with whom you can feel comfortable to get physical.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I didn't lose my virginity until i was like.. 23/24?

It's not weird. I have friends in their 30's that are virgins.

I didn't even tell the guy i was a virgin until we were naked in bed.. Don't be like me 😅 And let your partner know ahead of time. If (s) he likes you then (s) he likes you. You being a virgin wouldn't change that.

I didn't get confident until my mid 20's.

KelleyNice · Answer

I believe up until the age of 22 or perhaps somewhat older, most men would consider virginity to be plus; especially if they are seeking a relationship rather than a one-night-stand.

As an indication of how valuable virginity is, several years ago in Nevada, a 22 year old girl auctioned off her virginity subject to her approval and the high bid was about 3 million dollars. Men don't value sexual experience because men want to be a girls first. As far as men are concerned, it doesn't matter what you do because it all be fun.

Furthermore, most men never have sex with a virgin because most girls give up their virginity to hot guys (the top 10%) during their teen years. You can be certain that the 80% of men that never had a virgin would love to have that experience because they feel they are missing something that other guys hadbut they don't.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Who cares? Your you and if you wanna find a good partner you need to find someone that accepts who you are. Of course I don't know where to draw the line between your you and self-improvement. We want to be supported and that’s basically expected but if your looking for a relationship over flings then consider why your doing it and what you’ll give to have it. You might have to have a child even if you don’t wanna to get other things you want.

Relationships are give and take. Nobody likes yo give only take and that’s why casual datings so big today.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Hold on to it. Don't let any cat bitches put you down for not having experience there yet. Most of them make such ruin of their lives and other's I wonder why anyone still cares what they think.

So maybe they tell you that you're gonna die that way. There are worse things to go to the grave with.

Women typically aren't under as much pressure for that as men anyway. If you go to a place to look for work, find some rare item, etc., you'll just be treated like another random gal.

In college, somehow, they could sense that I hadn't the experience yet. The whole town responded by perpetually treating me like there must be something wrong with me. I couldn't do any gal a single kind deed without being treated like a rapist by every busybody in my vicinity.

I doubt you will have to worry about facing such harassment for doing anything really simple. Take advantage. Make life count.

USLegionary · Answer

Very rare and desirable for both sex and marriage.

Twalli · Answer

Probably not. The most likely reason a guy would not want you is if you're intending to save youself for marriage. I will tell you that you notice a hell of a lot more imprefections that other people don't notice in you. You are your worst critic.
For example, I have a freckle on my back. That's it, the rest is pefectly clear. I hate it and find it ugly. Do you think anyone else notices it and thinks of it the same way? No. Even if they see it, they don't even process that it's there and a blemish.

Anonymous · Answer

You are an oddity in a world where so many procreate at 13... That said, you're not strange, not should you be ashamed.

I remember a conversation my then boyfriend had with my now girlfriend some years ago and that is that in reality ones virginity is really a made up thing... It's just an idea. There's nothing magical about being or not being, you don't feel any different after than before. It's much like crossing the Rubicon, a made up boundary that, because of the determinations of others, cannot be uncrossed, but unlike Caesar, it really doesn't matter.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Many guys would like that, actually. Wanting a young beautiful fertile virgin with a compatible personality strikes a very deep chord in male evolutionary biology, similar to a tall rich strong and successful man striking that same chord in women. It’s not sexist or bad or wrong to acknowledge that, it’s simply the combination of traits that the entirety of human biological history which precedes your existence has selected for reproductive success.

BTCMoon · Answer

It's attractive hun. As someone who has slept around and has dated promiscuous women, I can tell you that this is a route toward toxicity. A virgin equates to less baggage. A virgin will have purity when it comes to your perspective and outlook on intercourse. They'll be less selfish. Sleeping around will not fix your self esteem. It will actually deprecate it because it won't fulfill you. You're looking for validation. Seeking validation through casual sex will never work. My wife did this for years before she met me. Sleeping around will create a ton of other issues with your self worth. Don't go down that route.

Makeushiver · Answer

I think it's the kind of thing that you follow your heart on. I would try to keep any tradition, religion, family, social mores or other external ideas constrain you but that's me and I don't really have any of those as constraints. I don't think people should get formally bound together unless they have already done most of the things that were ever traditionally held to be sacrosanct untill marriage. I wouldn't buy a car that I didn't test drive so I don't think I'd want to commit a life to someone unless I knew all of their habits

Is a 19 year old virgin girl attractive or seen as weird?

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