Is it true that Men and Women can be just Friends?

[Anonymous]

I recently got asked out by an 18 year old. I’m 25 and I told him I’m not interested in dating someone that young, but he said we can just be friends. I personally don’t believe that statement. I already know their intention was to ask me out, not to be just a friend. I feel like Men only say that hoping for the day that they’ll get a chance.

I could be wrong tho. What do you guys think? Also, I’m not even sure if I wanna start a friendship with him.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think you were right. I mean, first ask, what interests do you two actually hold together outside of anything sexual? I'm talking mutual interest here which is what usually holds a same-sexed platonic relationship together.

I don't know you, and I don't know him... but what could it possibly be outside of him wanting sex and him hoping you are desperate for attention? You both have a high interest in manufacturing guns and selling them? You both produce video games? Any guess would be a good guess because my best guess is probably nothing else than the sex/attention equation.

You sound mentally mature compared to a lot of women on a site like this because you don't seem like you're desperate for attention. He on the other hand, sounds very much like what I would expect from men on this site, totally after sex and hiding that fact under a subterfuge of "other things" ... kinda like just being friends.

[ZackBan]

It's possible under certain conditions that this kid does not meet.

You're right, he clearly wants to stay close and hope you change your mind about him. It's admirable but also doomed to failure and heartache.

I think for a man and a woman to be friends they need to be both in relationships with someone else and even then it's very delicate, there needs to be 0 attraction involved.

I have girls who I am friends with, none I would date even if they asked me but I'd do anything for them as a friend. But that cannot be true for every woman I meet, once I'm intersted there is no shutting it off.

[Asker]

How can I let the guy down without hurting his ego?

[ZackBan]

I'm afraid his ego will take a hit no matter what you do. Now one thing you can do is give him encouraging feedback. Not the cliché "I'm sure you'll make someone very happy someday"

Do something more personal. Tell him something like:
"I respect you for the courage it takes to confess interst, most guys my age are too immature to do it. But I'm afraid I'll have to say no, we can't be together and you need to accept that"

By doing it like this you validate his efforts and show him respect but also make it clear it's never gonna happen

[Alexa41991]

Yeah they can, but sometimes there's boundaries and exceptions such as, like for example I know people that are friends with each other but they have an attraction towards each other and both of them are in a relationship and sometimes they act on it; that type of situation is one of the few exceptions that I believe that they shouldn't be friends in the first place... and there's also my example, I tend to get along better with guys than with girls, sometimes it's hard to comprehend girls and I'm one of them so😅

[MystiKaL]

I am a red blooded heterosexual guy and I have countless female friends without and hidden agenda. One of my best female friends is absolutely gorgeous and is amazing to look at. She's also married. So, do I want anything more than friendship? No way! I respect her as a friend and would rather have her in my life as a friend, than not have her in my life at all. Even if she was single, I would rather us be just friends than anything more. Why? Respect and loving your friends.

Men and women CAN only be friends.

[Biancam13]

I think they can only be friends under these conditions:

1. You're friends in the context of a wider circle, but not close friends who talk loads one-on-one

2. Either one of you is in a devoted/committed relationship

3. Neither of you is attracted to the other one (both are physically unappealing to the other person)

4. Both parties are very attractive with a lot of options, so you get enough romantic attention outside the friendship anyway; you wouldn't be tempted by your friend

But usually, especially if the girl is pretty, they can't be friends. At least one of them is going to want more at one point.

[genericname85]

of course. and everyone who says differently is full of shit. though problems sure can arise, if either one is attracted sexually to the other. that happens so frequently that some people say it's not possible for men and women to just be friends but seriously... if there's no sexual attraction, then why the heck not?

it's not like women and men are so fundamentally different that they can't be friends. and i would say if you're not having opposite gender friends because of your current relationship, you have to work on mutual trust within your relationship...

[Finchie40]

Only if there is no attraction what so ever that 18 year old is talking out his ass , you hit the nail right on the head on that one , he wants to be your friend thinking it will give him more time to hopefully change your mind , don’t fall for that shit

[Anonymous]

It's possible he's asking you out just as friends, but it's more likely that he's trying to open the door as much as he can. When guys just want to casually hang out that's more of a friend thing. When guys ask you out on a date (not the same thing as just hanging out) they've got romantic intentions in mind. There are some exceptions to this, but they are very much the exceptions to the rule

But, generally speaking, girls and guys can be 'just friends' so long as neither of them has any romantic/sexual feelings towards to other one. If only one of them has those feelings towards the other then their friendship very much has an expiration date. Either they'll end up getting together or stop being the kind of friends that hang out/have an active platonic relationship with one another.

[Anonymous]

If she’s Guly and he’s gay or she’s a lesbian than I’m sure they can.
Men and women both lie about things to get what they want. A lot of women lie about liking sports. But yes he’s lying because in my mind maybe she calls me crying, I comfort her then we have hot sex, me looking like Fabio lol I can’t believe it’s not butter.

[EmbraceThePain]

No

On paper? Yes

In reality? No

Why? Biology and psychology are strong barriers for strictly platonic friendships amongst heterosexual men & women.

This is okay

Men and women aren't meant to strictly be friends.

Men and women can cooperate and work alongside each other but that doesn't mean they are friends and it doesn't mean they don't also want to be intimate with one another.

[Paulalove98]

Some people as in (male and female friends ) actually can be just friends if there's no mutual attraction or attraction at all vs having some sort of attraction to one another or connection where it becomes not so platonic but everyone is different really, i think only time can tell for some but others may know instantly if it's gonna go beyond a friendship, just my thoughts.

[bubblegunnn]

If he said we can just be friends then it means he was intentionally want u to be his girlfriend but since u said u dont date young guy, he said that instead

But yeah men and women can be friends.. some means just friend, some means friend with other intention, i mean if he can't be boyfriend is fine as long as he can be close to u

[ElvenMr]

I guess it depends. Since he is young, no way he just wants friendship with you. Maybe i'm wrong. Teen boys are beyond horny, all the time. If he was older, or same age as you, it's more likely that he will be fine being your friend.

It seems like you'd be bothered by him either way, cause he is younger then you.

[going-to-ibiza]

Surely it is possible:)
It’s nothing so very special when people meet that aren’t really attracted with each other but like hanging out with the other person.
But it’s only working if both feel that way - and not one of them feels differently some day…that’s when things get complicated…

[Anonymous]

It's possible, yes. I have many female friends. Some men are not capable of having these friendships and claim no one is able to, but that's simply just not true.

In your case, it seems more the case that he's using the guise of friendship to attempt to court you

[Twalli]

We can be. Of all my female friends I have only been sexually attracted towards 2. Now I'm dating one of them. The other one knows, mainly because she asked me why I didn't ask her out. I kind of feel bad because she held off on getting a boyfriend until after I asked my girlfriend out. Apparently she also wanted to date me. Yet for all my other female friends, that's all they are, friends. Nothing romantic.

[NathanDavis]

yes, men and women can be friends alright...

however, in this situation... I'm quite sure he does not want to seek a friendship with you, he just wants to pretend and meanwhile try his luck again, with you

[spartan55]

You are all over that one, most girls fall for that every time.

[Vannesawildsy]

I had guy friend since we are 12y. o and still now, we are a truly friendship, no one get in love to each other but really support with each other.

I dunno about your case, but just try it, if you dont feel uncomfortable with it, you can say with him and discuss how it will be

[misogynistic_pig]

Obviously yes, but in your case, it is obvious that the man is waiting for the opportunity to have sex with you, and you accept knowing that.

[Asker]

I didn’t accept anything but okay

[dustybiker]

The men who can be friends are those that never first had the interest to ask you out. This one will always be looking for an opportunity.

[ArtieWhitefox]

To say friends meaning no sex is what the devil wants. No more people. No people becoming one. To say the willing act sex means they are not friends is a contradictory statement. They would not be together had they not be friends.