Can you be supportive of a non listener?

[BlackCat999]

So, my question is simple, how do you react when you've seen something coming, try to warn someone, they decide to pursue despite and then fail?

I personally have a hard time empathising in these situations. I know this person and I consider them. Sadly they have the habit of not presenting themselves seriously, and not taking things that way either. I mean, even interviews for work. They tend to go with this "I don't care attitude".

The most recent example was an interview they passed to enter a school. They want to change work and going back to school is necessary since it has to do with taking charge of young prisoners/delinquents.

After the interview, they called and I ask how it went. From the tone of voice, the description of the interview and the reaction he said the interviewers had when he used certain words, I knew he blew his chances. Then he asked what I thought. He seemed happy of his performance and although no major incident happened in during the interviewer, I knew they didn't take him seriously. I understand for example, they asked him what he thought of filing legal documents and court proceedings and he said he doesn't like "paperwork" but already went to assist to court proceedings.

Coming from higher education, I know 100% that presentation and wording is extremely important in these situations. This person has a lot of ego and I definitely did my best to not be what he would call "negative" so... I hushed and told him I hope they accept him despite him insiting I went deeper, I knew this would blow up. I did try encouraging him to figure out a plan B just in case... Which he didn't do seriously too. So when he told me he failed, I honestly can say I wasn't surprised but, I can't tell him that...

Am I an ass? And how would you deal with this?

[SnowedIn]

You're not an ass. But I think it's worth questioning whether you too are compatible. And how much you want them to listen to you. Because your wanting that is totally valid. So, unfortunately, is them chosing to not listen and make their own path. You both can't (? shouldn't?) change each other. That said, there is a middle ground. That they learn to acknowledge what you said even if they don't do anything. You learn to accept that. (unless this is a major life area like kids or finances or something really important).

[BlackCat999]

Thanks for your help, I believe he has a happy go lucky attitude and I am very goal oriented (too much sometimes). Although listening is difficult in our relationship, I have learned (and am still learning) to not be directive with him because I want things to work. To be fair, I didn't advise him when he went to the interview. He didn't ask, and knowing he would probably not take my opinion into account, I was like: whatever, he'll do what he wants anyway. The issue is after the interview, when he starts talking and asking my opinion, and same as If he fails.

[Guy13]

If friend be there and be available. If not, disappear. Either way, it is their worry and not yours.

[BlackCat999]

Thanks for your reply. It's a good friend, how would you be available? Would you say you're sorry about the situation? How do you be convincing?

[Guy13]

Sorry but have time for the emotional deluge and it is sometimes so hard not to emit the negative DUH 🙄 energy. I don’t have opinions after Incident even if asked. At that point, I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️….

[Staximus]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You can't fix stupid. Sometimes you just have to let stupid people be stupid and learn the hard way, because they were too fucking stupid to listen to sense. Some people are so fucking stupid that they will never learn. You should let people that stupid fuck off into the sunset before they take you down with them.