Is it acceptable to ask for a contribution from the second date onward, for a guy?

[Anonymous]

I think that the first date is the very first chance for the guy to show that they can be gentlemanly. Hence, being chivalrous, being gentlemanly is the kind of impression a guy can impart on a girl. And paying for the first date is an action in that direction.

But, after the first date, is it appropriate for the guy to ask for contributions from the girl? Or expect the girl to try to contribute, if not actually pay?

[OlderAndWiser]

For my generation, the guy pays for everything on every date unless they have been together maybe a year and are talking about travelling together, like a cruise. Then, f she has the means, you can suggest that she pay for her share. But even if you've been dating for two years, if we go out to dinner, I pay for it. I think your generatiion does things differently.

[Asker]

I am not going on any date as of now. I wanted to know what other people think about it. People are mixed about it, it seems.

[Robert_]

Not sure if you should expect it or should ask for it. But if she is not even making the slightest hint of offering to contribute that is a clear red flag.

[Asker]

The hinting matters.

[menina]

I'm not ok with men paying for dates at all. I think they should either split the bill or pay separately. But that's just me.

If he wants to pay and if the girl/woman accepts it, then he shouldn't ask for a contribution on the second date. He should be consistent.

[mandyfire98]

I always go Dutch. First, second, third date, doesn't matter. I'm going Dutch.

[Asker]

Can you explain please? Dutch means?

[mandyfire98]

Both people pay.

[mandyfire98]

Split the bill

[Asker]

That's amazing. I knew this, but did not know its name as Dutch.

[mandyfire98]

Yeah I don't know why they call it Dutch, what the original reason it's named that. Definitely Dutch origin. I'm gonna try to look it up lol

[Guy13]

If a woman ever offers you say NO. Then that evening or day buy her cheap 15 bouquet of flowers and let her know how sweet and special that you think she is. If she gets you a gift or 12 pack treat it with the same vibe as you were giving when you gave her the flowers. IF she does follow-up and do something like described... she's Wifey material. Good luck with the woman !!

[Chazmatazz269]

If you value chivalry, there’s no point in asking a woman for “contributions”. Ell oh ell! You’ve already decided that you appreciate sexism and power imbalances. Own it. Otherwise you’re just sending mixed messages.
If you haven’t made it perfectly clear that you’re in favor of equality before the first date, there’s no point in asking her out. If she respects you, you won’t have to ask her to contribute. She’ll offer and you’ll find out if it was just an empty gesture as soon as you accept. Ell oh ell!

[NathanDavis]

asking the woman I just met... . for money

that's about the last things I could EVER think of doing...

I just would never make it about money at all, especially if I am the one inviting her to go out with me, lol

if she feels in any way about these things, then she will either let me know or there will be subtle hints about it, which I will keep up

but, telling her that she needs to pay... never, lmfao

[Twalli]

My view is that the guy should always pay for the first date and be able to, but ot expected to pay for all subsequent dates

[Brando10222]

You can ask but do tell the reason why. Or he'll think you are no longer interested that's why you paid your part.