What is a good way to tell if you're feeling lonely, or genuinely attracted to someone?

Question

Reply with some examples or thoughts on how you can tell when you like someone because you're lonely, or because you're genuinely attracted to them!

Price511 · Accepted Answer

Feelings of loneliness and love of somebody depends on where your feelings are at. This is kinda an oversimplification but it has helped me greatly.

If the core of the feelings is how you want to feel, as in how you crave some form of affection, or how you want to feel this way or that via other people, then that’s a feeling of loneliness. Focusing on an inward problem by an external solution isn’t exactly a good thing, especially when it comes to love. You don’t need someone else to live your best life, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it helps most people. Try to find a love for yourself and being comfortable with yourself before you walk into it.

If your feelings are directed towards a certain person, then it’s love. How they twirl and dance, how they sing, how they sparkle with the stars in their eyes, how they smile at you and your heart melts, how they go on and on about this obscure thing that makes them happy and you’d love to listen for hours and hours; that, that is love for someone.

And it’s a wonderful feeling.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well if your truly lonely, then one would think the most attractive quality a person can possess is companionship.

I have done a lot of online dating... one of things that attract me the most to a women is her willingness to put out the effort to engage in the process. Her ability and willingness to be emotionally and physically present. I don't mean just sex, but in the time she contributes to present.

Lust is lust... it burns hot and flames out quick. But if have some who's willing to be present within your life... that's very important. That foundation you can build on.

bubblegunnn · Accepted Answer

If i geninely atrracted with someone, it depends on other situation.

If i never talk to him, i won't tell him, i rather be his secret admirer. Cuz i dont want him to think that im a creep by approaching him then say i attracted to him.
If i talk w him but didn't feel connection, aka just basic talk, i won't tell him as well, but i do simple sign as reply his chat quickly and always talk w him as long as he still reply.. if the convo ends, i rather be silent, and wait him to text me again.. and i would not initiate the convo cuz i dont want him to think that im bugging him and dont want him to say on his mind like "ugh.. not her again!"
If i talk w him but we have connection, like we've been through lots emotions and deep talk from a-z, i tell him that i attracted him, not 'lonely' way.. i prolly say i have a crush on him if my genuinely attracted feeling is rising..

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you're lonely, you are going to be overlooking certain things that you might not if you were secure and not desperate to find someone.

Guy13 · Answer

You stay very busy and see if desire wanes.

Avicenna · Answer

There can be overlap between both of them, but you should automatically know if you're genuinely attracted

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I donn’t think the two are related. I could be in a relationship and still feel lonely, or conversely I could not be in a relationship yet feel totally fulfilled. Getting into a relationship to relieve feelings of loneliness could be incredibly dangerous. One should work on their social issues prior to getting in a relationship. If you get into a relationship to ease loneliness, and soon thereafter find a best friend who fills that hole in your life that was causing your loneliness, what then happens to the partner you just got to fall in love with you?

Sanamina · Answer

Then work on becoming whole by yourself first.

What I mean is... if you are lonely... it means u dont even enjoy your own company... which means u want another person to become a part of your life to distract u from the fact that u dont enjoy your own company...

However if you enjoyed your own company then ull become more picky and become a better judge of who u want to spend your valuable time.

Your "base" level is the level of satisfaction with yourself u are at now.

Any relationship that elevates that base level ull happily get into

Any relationship that doesn't elevate it or even brings it down is not worth getting into

And your bases level is gonna keep changing over the years

The more interesting a person u become the more ull enjoy your own company and the more people will want to hangout with you and the pickier ull become with who u let in because now having fun alone is ur base level.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Lonely is when you have moments where you think about spending intimate time alone with someone special and at the same time you think about what can be when you start to feel an attraction to someone.
Genuine affection is built with frequent thoughts and a pleasant feeling when you see them, talk with them, and spend time with them. You want to do more and more with this person. You imagine this person telling you they love you. You want to be with this person, but you're hesitant because of the possibility of rejection.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a boyfriend but I feel lonely in the relationship. I live alone while all girls live together with their boyfriend. Daily I’m alone. I go to the market or buy things for my home, all women are next to a man shopping & im alone shopping. while girls r hanging out with bfs family on weekend or a bfa fmaily barbcue, I’m alone at home. I’m attracted to boyfriend but extremely lonely. Even get depressed. I don't know how you can tell if your lonely or attracted. I don't know if it’s all in your face expression, I have no idea. I’m the type of girl who has gotten NO from men her entire life since she was 13. That’s y it pisses me off when people easily say go find new guy as if it’s a toy you can change or buy. You can’t lovesomeone the next day love the random new guy u met.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm kinda wanting to know this to because i have an instance of this, sorta kinda not really maybe.

This girl "friend" and i do stress those quotes greatly, of mine, i gave her money for her dog, because it's really sick and needs an ultrasound and an mri. after i told her this, she "asked me out" or im not sure cause while it sounds like she did, she also SUPPOSEDLY has a boyfriend, im not sure. if she did ask me out, then why would she do that, knowing she has a boyfriend. but, if she doesn't have a boyfriend, now it leads me to believe that she thinks i was trying to "buy" a date from her. When i wasn't. I was just trying to do it out of a good heart. besides, it ain't like i paid for the procedure, she still needs quite a bit, i was just helping out a bit

so, did i buy a date from her, whether she has a boyfriend or not?

RavVid · Answer

If you are just lonely you are happy if a girl is talking to you.

If you are genuinely attracted then you get hard.

of course if a girl is talking to you after a while you will get hard.

So it can be confused. But I think in the second case you get hard sooner than the first case.

anonanonanonomys · Answer

Have a list of your standards, relationship or otherwise. Lots of things can cloud your judgement so in moments of doubt refer to the list of things you need in reality

Mangospacho · Answer

Time is the best indicator. You can’t really tell until at least a month has gone by. If you are genuinely attracted to one person and not just trying to avoid being lonely, then meeting new people won’t have any affect on your feelings. If you just jump from person to person then you are just self medicating the loneliness.

MCheetah · Answer

How much bullsh*t will you tolerate from her. "Any at all" means you're just lonely/desperate. If you're a guy who can keep your dignity and self-respect though, then it's probably genuine.

Dnice1 · Answer

Well say you someone and you just look at them like i wish I had someone like them to cuddle with but when you look and someone and feel love and genuinely attracted to them then you know the difference.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you are truly lonely, you are more likely to feel attracted to more people. Stay busy and see how you feel.

OddBeMe · Answer

Unless you’re a robot you should have access to your feelings. Usually the question is how do you tell if it’s just loneliness or actual love?

DancingQueen16 · Answer

A way I knew I was attracted to my now boyfriend was my heartbeat started speeding up every time I saw him 💓

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Ask yourself this question: "Would I want to be with her every day for the rest of my life?" If the answer is yes, then you are actually attracted to her.

loveslongnails · Answer

Spend a lot of time with them. If you get bored or lose interest, you were just lonely.

innerman · Answer

Blue Litmus paper___DATING & happy Red Litmus paper___SINGLE & lonely

jimmy2 · Answer

If you are attracted you will want to be next to her If you are lonely you will say life sucks 💘

katestar · Answer

I'm attracted to my former crush.

Massageman · Answer

Wait a few months.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Oh, I don’t know mmm do you know you?

dreamstar72 · Answer

How fast it grows

In_Trance · Answer

Think about it

Anonymous · Answer

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What is a good way to tell if you're feeling lonely, or genuinely attracted to someone?

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