How many dates are necessary before you sleep with someone?

Question

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

That really really really depends on so many variables. Mostly, it's "however many YOU feel is the right number with a particular guy."

Now I truly mean that. That IS the real answer.

But I worry you're going to roll-your-eyes because (I hope...) you already know that, and so that answer isn't what you're looking for.

So, again, the real answer really is at the top.

That being said:

Generally... like very generally:

-Sex on the first date... usually (but not always) probably a bad idea.

-No guy (whether he's 18 or 55) is realistically going to realistically think the night might hopefully end in sex before a 3rd date. This, for some women is where they set their minimum date-rule. For other women though, that's way way too early, and they wouldn't think of sleeping with a guy until they knew each other better.

(also, it depends if you mean "dating" as in you're both dating various people, and have to have a conversation about whether you're "a couple" in addition to that, or whether "dates" means going out with a guy who you are already exclusive with).

The fifth date is another place some women choose to set that limit.

SO far as "number of date" type rules GENERALLY 3 or 5 is what I've most often heard.

That being said, I would say that more women DON"T have a 'specific number of dates rule'. At least that's usually not the primary basis on which a woman is going to decide that the time is right for sex in a relationship.

Ok, enough of a dude telling you all about women? Fair enough.

One guy's perspective (which, for the record was the same when I was 18)

If a girl has sex on the first date; unless there's some reason for me to think I'm somehow special to her after only one date (possible but unlikely), then I might see you again, but... I"m probably not looking for anything serious, long-term or a relationship because, I assume you have sex with any and every guy who you go out with once (since you did with me, when I was essentially a stranger too). Now that may be totally unfair, but I am certainly not alone in that thinking.

Other than that, honestly, from a guy's perspective, it's whenever the girl is comfortable enough to feel like it's the right time. Guy's may have "hopes" for sex after a certain number of dates in their head. But none of them "expect" it. The handful who do, really are the wrong type of guy.

So, the answer really is what I said at the very beginning. 🙂

JamesDiaz11 · Accepted Answer

I've slept with a ton of girls on the first date, so I don't really have any standards.

My current girlfriend waited until the second date to kiss me, then we started messing around, and the second I got her clothes off (things happen quickly) and asked her if she was on birth control she jumped up, and stuttered out that she hadn't had sex before (and wasn't on any bc). It's been nearly 5 months now and I haven't had sex with her yet; although she eventually let me go down on her. She's touched me one time and said "holy moly!" (she's very Christian/ sheltered) before pulling her hand away, and later told me that she's still stalling because she's convinced it's going to hurt really badly with me.

I don't say this to brag, but just to make a point that it's entirely up to the girl how long one waits before they have sex.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Completely up to the people concerned.

Probably best not to hop to it immediately as you don't know a person's sexual history or whether they have a transmittable STD, and more importantly whether someone uses birth control, whether they say so or not. AND you also don't know a person well enough to know whether they're married, single, living with someone, separated... as HOST of issues are unknown.

Take time to know someone. A pretty face, body and good manners mean next to nothing. Sex is a powerful thing and people want it, no matter the consequences. Be careful.

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

Personally, my husband and I chose to wait for marriage. And boy did we wait lol

We dated for 5 years and then were engaged for an additional 2 years before we got married.

If you consider the fact that we met 4 years before we started dating, that's a long time. The second that I met him I knew he was something special and that he was going to be in my life for a long time.

All that to say, I waited for marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way.

AviatorTom · Answer

It depends. If both people click and are attracted to each other, could be the first date. ... or it could be never. Maybe at least 3 dates is a good number before you start thinking of sleeping with him.

darealmvp2015 · Answer

To me sex is really just sex. I think if 2 people are attracted to one another physically and they both want to do so, then they should not hesitate to have sex.

I feel like we put too much value into sex between people as it is, and I realize that for some people it is something they don’t take lightly, but personally I’ve never placed it high in a pedestal and therefore I see no reason for waiting. If after 1 date we both wanna do it, let’s do it. If she wants to wait a few dates then we can do that too. Either way, it’s not a huge deal.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Let me be very clear to you. If you want to get married to a good man some day, stay out of bed with these guys until they put a ring on you. If you want to stay single or don't care what kind of bum to marry, then you can have sex on the first date with as many as you can. Good men put value on women that are hard to get in bed with. The old saying is. A good lock has only one key that will open it, a bad lock, any key will open it. Don't ask women what a man value in a woman, I have been married for 45 years.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

Depends on the situation. For most wannabe cam whores they’re groomed at an early age by an older sleazebag. They’re essentially prostitutes without working the streets. Their entire lives controlled to give him your money.

In other situations it depends on chemistry or drunkenness.

Anonymous · Answer

My current boyfriend and I slept together the first time we met I know it sounds crazy but the intimacy was really how we connected on a deeper level literally. I think it entirely depends on how the vibe is with the person and how comfortable you two feel. For some people it's right away, for some it's in the middle of dating or being together, and for others it can take a year or two maybe even more before they are ready to take that step.

PessicaJeter · Answer

Depends on the person and how the dates go. I didn't sleep with my current boyfriend until our 3rd date lol

PizzaPieMamaBear · Answer

I slept with my boyfriend after a couple hours into our first date. I wouldn’t recommend that but I’m also not going to tell others what to do and be hypocritical

slatyb · Answer

A few. The minum so far has been one but that's an exception. I eventually learned that I hated breaking up soon after having sex. I would rather wait a bit until I'm sure I want to spend time with her.

Wish4UrB00ty · Answer

I mean I don’t need a date as a bench mark. I would sleep with a girl I liked either way but I do need to know her. So I would say the second or third date.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No idea, I don't date in the typical sense, I date women I started out as best friends with and have known for a while, so it could be on the first date for no other reason than I already knew her well for a few years prior.

CindyRuns · Answer

No specific number... in my case, when it felt right, it happened. The range was going out with the guy from 3-6 months.

weysally · Answer

depends on the situation, I have had one-night stands, also one time it took well over a few months

DavidRaul · Answer

Its not necessary if your only motive is to have sex. But if you want an emotional connection too, i advise you to wait until you form an affection towards him

Fireguy17 · Answer

it can happen on the first date, or not even on the 10th date. It all depends on the person. it will happen if and when it happens and not before.

Kori1236 · Answer

I don’t base it on dates I base it on my comfortability with that person. I let things go naturally and don’t force them.

SpringValley · Answer

Your brain can justify anything.  Your heart will flat out lie to you.  Your gut is the only friend you have. Listen to your gut.

Avcfhcic · Answer

As many as it does to make it come naturally. Whether after the first or tenth, whenever it feels right!

crossdressingrihno · Answer

The important part is chemistry. It could take weeks or months or it could take less than half an hour, it’s about pushing the right buttons.

Emilyis · Answer

depends on your age but I would 5 or 6. The younger you are, the more dates you need.

OddBeMe · Answer

Depends entirely on your relationship. Some people know each other more on the first date, others just met. Some people are ok with sex with people they just met. Some want to get to know the person first.

Elliegirl · Answer

The soonest I’ve ever slept with someone was after three dates. He’s my husband now.

inhua · Answer

1 if you're been on ONS and casual hookups 2+ if you've never been in any of the above

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

The goal is always one. But I’m willing to hold out longer.

SnowedIn · Answer

As few as one or many. Completely depends on the person and a bunch of other factors.

Prettysammie · Answer

I follow my heart instead of arbitrary rules. Sometimes it’s the first date. Sometimes maybe even the day we meet. And sometimes it’s never

DCowboy4747 · Answer

Myself, I prefer 4 or more before we get to the intimate state because for me it takes the relationship to a whole different level that shouldn't be rushed into.

XLBBC4White · Answer

Totally depends on the chemistry. And for the record, I have dated women long term who I slept with on the first date. Why fight a good thing? Lily, you down with XL BBC? DM me...

fonduegirl · Answer

Depends on how comfortable you're with physical intimacy

exitseven · Answer

I would have sex with somebody on the first date especially if she was hot.

soe11 · Answer

There is no fix amount of dates, depending on your satisfaction.

Anonymous · Answer

Well no dates are NECESSARY. But it's highly unlikely I sleep with her before I trust her. And that takes time. Usually more time them she's willing to wait.

Andres77 · Answer

Case by case. Kinda depends on the quality of the relationship one wants

Guardian45 · Answer

Depends on the woman. There some on G@G that I would sleep with on the first date, then again there are some I never would.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

Well I suppose it would take around four days to really get to know someone enough to do something like that

Reddy4it · Answer

Gorgeous…no hard and fast rule…I get a bit impulsive…

BJP21 · Answer

Id wait a month or two if its premarital. Or best is until marriage.

Kinkyhubby · Answer

It depends in the people and how comfortable or horny they are.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I never slept with anyone before dating for 10 dates

smahala1991 · Answer

If I know them well, maybe one or two, but if not it would be like 6 or 7

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Honestly preferably 2-3. But each situation is different. Rules don’t always apply the same

bananathunder · Answer

always different... I don't see anything wrong with first date if you both are ready

PatriceONeal · Answer

0 It's 2022 and pussy is free. Thanks feminism!

nawtee_me · Answer

That depends, it could be the first date or the fifth date. It depends on the chemistry.

Anonymous · Answer

Till there is a genuine connection and it just feels right that could be 6 it could be 10 it could even be more on time scales.

QuietRunner · Answer

one if the chemistry is right 2-3 dates for me

Summeroflove · Answer

Until married….

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Approximately 48- 96 😂

dustybiker · Answer

I went by following my gut. Never a chart.

20yearsolder · Answer

On the first date if she's willing

DermalPunch · Answer

Just one: the wedding date.

jennyjenjen98 · Answer

One... if I'm interested.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

One will suffice but, usually it's several.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

When we're officially a couple.

Anonymous · Answer

That girl is like 14 in the picture.

Gloree · Answer

till you get the ring

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If you are an escort, the first date.

Wise4myage · Answer

Maybe one, or a few?

Therisinghero12 · Answer

Depends on when I trust them enough to

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Generally first or second date.

TallAnon · Answer

Don't even really need a date tbh

How many dates are necessary before you sleep with someone?

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How many dates are necessary before you sleep with someone?

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