Rejected a guy but he didn't seem really affected?

[TrinityTown]

I rejected a date with a guy collegue who asked me out after work.

He says he doesn't regret asking me out, but asks if we could pretend he did not embarass himself and still hang out in our group of friends/collegues eating breakfast/lunch together. He still tries to be friendly with me but i feel awkward now.

Is this normal for people to take rejection so well?

Updates

1 y

i don't know how to continue dealing with this situation with the guy, i still want to be friends though but my heart feels awkward now :(

[Starbers99]

Put yourself in his shoes, you liked a guy in your friendship group and asked him out because you felt it was worth the risk but he said no - would you want to leave your friendship group over it? He seems like a great guy tbf, to take it well and be mature about your response. Don't make him feel awkward, be polite and friendly but ensure you do not give out mixed signals, he should expect some slight distance between you to avoid this, stay friends in the group but not alone together until he's over it. It sounds like he wants to move on, a good way to help both of you do this is to pretend it didn't happen. Just out of interest, why did you reject him? I rejected a man a few years ago but now we are friends and I regret it because he did the exact same as this guy, he was mature and kept his dignity and respect and now I know him, I know that I'm the one who missed out. He has a girlfriend now. If you really don't like him in that way, maybe you know of a girl who is more suited to him and you could set them up to help him move on but if you're not sure, stay friends, get to know him, now you know he likes you, you may start to see him in a different light. Don't be a fool like me!😄

[CubsterShura]

Why do you expect it to affect him? Do you want it to affect him? Why do you feel awkward?

Rejections happen, and you move on. In my friend group there is a girl who asked out a guy, he rejected her but we're all still hanging out like normal and they remain good friends. Some people do feel awkwardness and don't want to continue contacting and that's fine, I went out with a guy once and after going on a few dates realized we don't feel the chemistry despite having a great time together. I once invited him to come over to my place for a normal friendly hangout, but he declined saying that he feels awkward to do that so I never asked him to hangout again. If you think you feel awkward maybe try to set boundaries with him.

[Chazmatazz269]

Most men handle rejection well. It’s just a fact of life for us, almost daily. The minority who handle it poorly get all the press though. Go figure.
If you can’t handle maintaining a platonic relationship with a guy who has asked you out, then don’t. It’s only a matter of time before you resent those feelings and pin it on him for having the nerve to ask in the first place. If you actually value his friendship, then be honest with him and keep your distance until you can work through your feelings and get back to normal.

[coachTanthony]

Real men would rather be rejected and understood than ambiguous in their actions. So good for him. It's the whiny simps that won't actually take the shot.

[AdithyaR]

Ouch, coach. Hitting me right where it hurts 🤣 🤕

[jennifer_bloom]

it depends on the person. If a guy rejects me and we were friends before the rejection - I might view him as the same friend I did before - while knowing it will never be anything but that.

[Guy13]

Good for him. You’re one of many.

[watercolor_lions]

I'm actually really impressed by this guy's maturity. Good for him for taking a stab and accepting the rejection.

As for you, you might just need a little space. And that's okay. Just be honest with him, and tell the group you need a little time to take care of some other stuff.

[Anonymous]

In a perfect world, that’s how it should work. There shouldn’t be any awkwardness or resentment on anyone’s part. Relationships would never happen if someone didn’t try to initiate them. Obviously the two of you were friendly before this incident. He misread the situation and it didn’t work out. Why can’t you still be friends or colleagues? His response was incredibly mature to be honest.

[Truthatanycost]

Women forget there are billions of them out there. There is no reason why a guy should be affected. He may feel a bit awkward if there is a close knit group but other than that, it should be no problem.

[Sour-rose]

Sounds like he was a real man to me. Only a child would react in a bad way to being told "No." he is a good man... so he should be respected as so.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Yea, that's how it's supposed to work. Don't feel awkward. If anything, you're still leaving the door open for you two to have a connection, even if it's not necessarily a romantic one.

[RavVid]

It wasn't that bad! He would just like it not to affect the group dynamics.

Feeling awkward makes you feel awkward so just tell yourself it was a nice compliment.

[Lulu897]

Some chose to forget bad experiences in life they don’t want to be reminded of it and they accept it for what it is

[jshm2]

You seem more embarrassed than him.

He shot his shot and missed. So is happy to move on.

[spartan55]

Why would you feel awkward? If he's cool with it why can't you be?

[mobiusforniner]

Its because he's a man and he doesn't let it bother him. He can maintain a stoic attitude because he's not a whiny incel.

[dustybiker]

Why should you feel awkward? He asked a question. You said no. He took it well. He’s over it.

[AdithyaR]

That's a golden guy right there. If he still is okay being friends, do keep him around as a friend. Someone who can take rejection that gracefully is a very mature and sensible person.

[es20490446e]

If I was in that situation I would simply friend-zone you.

[sirderpsalot123]

Sounds like he's just trying to shrug it off and move on.

[heartofgold94]

If you feel guilty then you may have rejected him for the wrong reasons. Try and figure out why you rejected him and move with that.

[panamared1]

he may have liked you, but not had a crush on you. he probably thought he would ask you out to see where it would go. it seems you are more hurt that he is not hurt,

[PatriceONeal]

Only a girl would get upset with a guy not breaking down from her rejection.

[JSmuve]

Right? In her mind, he must've not liked her enough if he's not pining over her in a mess of tears.

[PatriceONeal]

@JSmuve modern women strive to be the epitome of narcissist

[Tracker1958]

Sound like you was just a passing thought. Not really caring one way or the other.