Why do I have the mindset of thinking that almost every girl is evil and how can I change that?

[Anonymous]

I know they are humans but i always feel like women think im ugly, even though no one said that.

i have had a few flirt with me but i thought they were just messing with me.

why do i think like this? It has affected my dating life.

[sunflower00]

I think you look great. I think being on the internet all the time fuels these negative thoughts about others. This is not meant to sound rude but you could try therapy/counselling as you don’t sound like you want to think all women are evil and understand that it’s an irrational thought that is getting in the way of your life? Or you could try less time on the internet and try to spend more time in social situations with a mix of different men and women and get to know them?


In most cases people who don’t have much experience with dating etc. have a huge lack of confidence or generally aren’t very outgoing which is the reason for it rather than looks. I know some beautiful girls and great looking guys who are just so insecure or shy (I’ve always been quite shy and insecure so I get it) who never got hit on or noticed as much because of that!

[Asker]

Thanks.

And yea being on the internet all the time, especially social media, makes your mindset worse. But i dont really use social media.

It’s definitely the lack of confidence like you said. Even if a girl shows interest in me i think to myself “she is just being friendly” or “she is messing with me”

[Asker]

I dont think therapy is worth it tbh. i have seen people irl and online who have depression and therapy didn't really help them.

[sunflower00]

Fair enough. I totally understand why you think that way because I always was the same, thinking it was a joke or they were just being nice, but you’ve just got to work on that confidence! Most people do not show interest if they don’t mean it or mess with you if you’re over the age of like 15! Also, I know lots of people who have gone to therapy and it has helped them as well as people who have gone and it’s not. Totally depends on the person and your mindset going into it! If you want to listen and work on your confidence and take the difficult steps to get there then it might work! But it is a big step of course. :)

[Asker]

Hmm yes i should work on my confidence. I have tried weightlifting and still go to the gym, but it didn’t really help me get more confident.

How did you fix your confidence issues?

[CoolCatMar1]

Not all women are evil and just because someone doesn't find you conventionally attractive doesn't mean they are bad people. They are allowed to have standards. But it depends on the way the reject you and if they call you ugly in your face in a mean way. You just didn't find the right person yet honey. Just wait and you will see that there is someone for everyone.

[Asker]

I haven't ever asked anyone out because i get nervous. I think i have had a few girls show interest but like i said, i can't tell if they are messing with me.

[CoolCatMar1]

Maybe you aren't that ugly

[Asker]

I made a post on reddit a few weeks ago and they told me i look good. I don't know maybe I’m not ugly.

[CoolCatMar1]

Send me your pictures i am curious

[Asker]

I can send the reddit link.

www.reddit.com/.../

[CoolCatMar1]

You look fine i only don't like your nose. But noses aren't that important anyway hahhaha you are good looking ok?

[Asker]

Oh like it’s too big?

[CoolCatMar1]

It's kinda big yeah but it's okayy

[Asker]

Okay alright. So i guess surgery is the only way

[CoolCatMar1]

It's not that important again.

[CoolCatMar1]

Yeah and blackpill is trash

[CoolCatMar1]

Actually i wouldn't date my boyfriend if he had a shitty personality

[Asker]

What is important then? Looks matter a lot, people just dont admit that.

Blackpill might be trash in the sende that it turns people pessimistic and hopeless but it makes a good point.

I don't know what your boyfriend looks like but 99% i’ll assume you found him physically attractive, and that’s what brought you to him in the first place. A good personality kept you there instead of going away.

[CoolCatMar1]

He approached me because he found me attractive... Anyway, yeah, I like him for his personality as well though

[CoolCatMar1]

My boyfriend is this
https://ibb.co/n0QdkyM
https://ibb.co/Kj0PXTh
https://ibb.co/Cvz78Z1
https://ibb.co/KzWsbwS
https://ibb.co/fD6YJyQ
https://ibb.co/VC1cWw9
https://ibb.co/KmPhWFf

[CoolCatMar1]

Not saying blackpill isn't entirely true though

[Asker]

He looks good. First pic reminds me of Dom Mazzeti

[CoolCatMar1]

Hehhee thank you a lot!!!

[CoolCatMar1]

He is really hot and is very tall 5'11 almost 6 feet

[Asker]

No problem

[Asker]

Oh right there was one more thing. The current girl irl who i think is interested judging from her behaviour i wanted to ask if you can tell me if she is out of my league, but i dont want to send pics of her in public.

Is it fine if i can send u the link in private messages?

[CoolCatMar1]

Of course message meee

[CoolCatMar1]

Let me open them

[Asker]

Alright

[CoolCatMar1]

Send message

[Asker]

Done

[MCheetah]

That's because a lot of people (male and female) suck ass, nowadays. You as a male, probably notice the women more, because you're not gay and don't care as much if the men are jerks. The only way set that attitude is to meet more nice women who aren't jerks as well. Good luck with that.

[Asker]

Have thing i have noticed is people nowadays think showing that you care about someone is seen as weak

[boggboss]

Wither had shit expirances or been influenced by the same thing wither way open you mind up yo other ways of thinking and give them a chance to see how they really are

[Asker]

I dont really had any bad experience, i just think like that.

[Asker]

Have had*

[boggboss]

And what type of media so u consume thoughts like this are not self made they tend to come from influence

[Asker]

Media as in social media? Reddit. Youtube if you count it as that.

[boggboss]

Yes but what type of content do u watch I would assume its some red pill stuff

[Asker]

I dont believe in redpilled stuff. On YouTube i mostly watch Wheat Waffles who is “blackpilled”

[boggboss]

And that one follos what ideology?

[Asker]

That only looks matter, nothing else.

[boggboss]

And am I wrong in assuming u are insecure about your looks

[Asker]

You’re right

[boggboss]

So that would be why u think women are evil then if u assume only looks matter then think u don't look the best u would assume they dislike you

[Asker]

Yes exactly

[boggboss]

So then u know the reason why with that u can't start changing the situation to change your mindset

[Asker]

I feel like its too late for that. I’m 24, gonna turn 25 in January and changing the mindset isn't easy when you have been ingrained with it since ur teens.

[boggboss]

I never said it would be easy bit if your looking for a actual answer that's it there is no magic pill that will change your mind or make a girl be with you gotta do the work

[DubiousIntentions]

How can you think that? What are we, witches?

[Asker]

I don’t know why i think like that. Maybe its the insecurity in me.

[TheSimFans]

The Internet is worse for negative and same with lame people you get through high school and college.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Have you used any kind of online dating? That can severly hurt self confidence.

[Asker]

I haven’t used online dating.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Real