Do looks matter in a relationship?

[soz11122]

Because there is an attraction to the person and the first thing you see is how they look, I believe it matters. However, as the relationship proceeds the look stays in the background...

[Guy13]

Looks and Lust matter on the front end of life, however, they fade and all that is left is a swiveled up prune and raisin rocking in antique 1950-70s glider two-seater couch or individual gliding chairs.

So, what gets someone from the 2nd or middle stage to the 3rd etc or last stages of Marriage. Personality and character but it is much more concrete for me…

I’ve got the formula but implementation in a daily relationship walk is/would be effort. 2Corinthians 6:14, Mark 10:6-9, 1st Corinthians 13:4-8…, Proverbs 18-21, Ephesians 5(men/women there), 1Peter 3:7, Colossians 3:19

[Akam93]

You are very interesting.

[Guy13]

@Akam93 Merry Christmas.

[Akam93]

Merry Christmas to you. :)

[RingOfFire]

Clearly looks matter. Applying logic, assuming two people were exactly the same in every other way, who would choose the one who is less physically appealing to them.

One of the magical properties of love is that it induces people to come to love the unique fingerprint looks of their partner and prefer it over others who they might otherwise find more physically appealing. Just as peoples' love for their partner's persona grows over time, they also can grow to love their looks and prefer them to all others. No doubt familiarity plays a role in this process.

[BlackBeauty90]

Yawn.

Of course they matter. But they matter the least. Otherwise people who are scarred by accidents, war, cancer & other things would die alone & miserable but they typically don't... in fact they often die surrounded by their partner, family & friends.

Whereas oftentimes "pretty" people end up dying alone & miserable - just look at celebrities who change their partners like well used underwear - because their partner was shallow, insecure & of a bad personality and left them for someone more attractive

[Aerissa_Jade]

Yes and no, because if looks matter too much, then if someone gets in an accident and becomes disfigured, then it means the relationship is over.

Looks matter for a first impression and the short term, but personality matters in the long term.

Plus everyone loses their looks as their age, which means at that point, men would be trading in women for a younger more attractive woman.

[jennifer_bloom]

I view looks as an underlying condition but not the dominate motive in dating. I want a guy that I can love and care for and if he looks above my minimum standard - than I won't be fazed by his appearance to the point where dating him would seem unpleasant.

[OlderAndWiser]

Physcal attraction is a requirement for most people in a relationship, and it is usually the first thing that we know about a person, so it is the first thing that eliminates some contestants. That doesn't mean that it's the most important; it's simply the first hurdle that a contestant must cross. What comes later is much more important.

[BlueScorpio]

To some extent, yes, everyone wants to be attractive to their romantic partner in some way. If you're not then chances are the relationship won't work.

[Datboi65]

Yes they do. The first thing that attracts you to someone that you don't know is their looks. If you don't find them appealing, you won't bother approaching them. Men are visual creatures, that's just how we are and I don't think we should be demonized for it.

Once you've progressed past the early stages, what keeps a man is how you treat him. We don't expect you to look the same after delivery as you did when we start dating you, but you have to be putting in some effort if we are. I don't know about yourself, but I don't plan to stop going to the gym and dressing well after I get into a relationship. You have to stay consistent.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Looks matter. That cliche of don’t worry about them bc they fade cliche is just that a cliche. In the grand scheme of things we’re not 80. Best believe other 80year olds are still looking at each other of who they find attractive. Since we’re not in that age range we’re not going to look for that attraction. While you’re in this age range with how you look now use it to your advantage. Talk to the person you find attractive if that makes you happy who cares what anyone not living as you has to say about it?

[lightbulb27]

Everything matters. If you leave a little salt out of soup... it really changes the experience right? Try having chicken soup... with no chicken. What the heck is that?

So yea, looks matter, but it isn't the only thing nor the most important all the time.

I think what really matters is to care, about yourself and thus for the other... that you work on presenting yourself nicely to your love, smell decent, look decent... with a smile and affection for them and a loving spirit with care and concern, a loving touch and look. That says so much than superficial physical body things that are going to change. That said, I like to keep my body in as good shape as I can, for me and my love.

Thanks for the analogy honey, it makes sense! @midnightmoon05.

[midnightmoon05]

Good job love ❤️ 😘

[midnightmoon05]

You making yummy crab soup tomorrow?

[Chazmatazz269]

You started off strong and then wilted a bit. Physical attraction is THE primary factor in almost every single coupling and relationship since the beginning of time. This is true of nearly every species that procreates sexually. Evolutionary biology demands it. Mating with an attractive partner increases the chances of having attractive offspring that too will have greater chances of mating; continuing the genetic line. Anyone who denies this simple and nearly absolute fact is either grossly ignorant or lying.

[SnowedIn]

Looks matter to a certain extent because, yeah, in most cases that's how you first notice someone. But, also like you say, it's not the only thing. And it's not the keep you there thing. If they're a terrible person but model beautiful, looks don't matter.

[NathanDavis]

yes it matters, and it should...

not like it should be the most important factor in a relationship but it should be there and it has its role, we all like and need to be appreciated in few ways if not all ways, so that physical attraction matters, it is important

it should be a component of a few needed for a healthier or more ideal of relationship

[Nomina]

Agreed and I think it applies long term, too.

One of my favorite married couples around me that I study very closely, lol, do take physical attraction for one another seriously.
I've seen the look in their eyes when they compliment each other on their looks.

Even after, maybe ESPECIALLY after, decades together that means a lot.

[NathanDavis]

@Nomina does sound like a truer love

[Tina19]

Certain amount of physical attraction is important in romantic relationship for me i have been in relationship with a guy i was not physically attracted to so i never felt like kissing him or initiate any romantic intimacy due to lack of chemistry i broke up with him soon because i started to see him just as friend

[Vikkrram]

So nicely explained...

[Tina19]

Thank you

[sage2021]

So, if you are unattractive, the thing to do is find someone unattractive to be with. But even though both of you are unattractive people, you are beautiful to each other.
I have observed that when two unattractive people are together and married, they seem to be really happy! They don't seem to have the problems that an attractive couple have, so less arguing. Makes sense.

[Weapon77]

Yep. I refuse to date a fat girl. They don't matter nearly as much as people think, but they still matter. I don't think I could ever date a girl with a mole or something on her face that she could EASILY have removed by a doctor. But freckles are 💥💥💥💥

[hausofdracarys]

Yes and no. Depends on an individuals surroundings. But people go for what they find pretty or pleasing to the eye.

If you have only material friends who are face value people then maybe it will influence your feelings, they may love you but also think you deserve better. But I think finding someone who is willing to love you through everything is powerful.

Like honestly. What if walking down the street a little too happy reminds someone of their ex or a person they hate and I am attacked. My face is deformed or melted from acid. What will looks do for my partner then?
Was our bond strong? It may be an initial thing but don't male ot your everything.

Personally looks don't make me feel much, it's whether a man is willing to give me everything and his all.

[Adaeva]

Each year Americans spent more than $16.5 billion on cosmetic plastic surgery and minimally invasive procedures. In her lifetime, the average women spends $15,000 on cosmetics. Each year, Americans spend more than $68.5 billion on jewelry. American women spend about $2,000 per year on clothing, more that 80% is to enhance over and above the basic necessities Obviously, looks matter or that money wouldn't be spent.

[MrNewton]

Honestly depends on the person. I won't say looks absolutely don't matter because that would be a lie. But your personality and conduct matter even more. What good is a pretty face if it doesn't have a good personality complimenting it? In the end of the day a serious relationship is about who stays there for you, supporting you.

[Blackmoonsns]

Looks matter to both men and women it's the first step it's what first draws each other to get to know each other but soon after if you want any kind of relationship or at least continue seeing the person you should enjoy who they are as a person like a find their hobbies their interests and their personality appealing but they're always needs to be a physical sexual chemistry there

[RealMarek]

Yes, physical attraction matters when forming a relationship. There is a lot about physical chemistry that is potentially not well understood. Scent might play a role that we are not aware of, and mutual attraction might signal genetic compatibility. In the long run looks will fade, but I think they play a role at the beginning.

[TheNameIsRob]

Of course there has to be at least some physical attraction, but it’s not what is going to carry the relationship through the tough times. Anyone that’s been in with someone for any significant amount of time knows that when things aren’t going well suddenly that person isn’t as attractive.

But on a positive note, if the relationship is a healthy one you almost become a little more attracted every day.

[grierwrange]

yeah I think it’s actually really important despite what I want to believe and despite what society wants to shove down our throats. It’s the reason why a lot of relationships don’t even begin and probably the biggest insecurity most people have (not being attractive enough or at least thinking they aren’t attractive enough)

[Apple1996]

Nah it shouldn't matter cuz eventually everyone's looks change or fade away so if you want to stay with that person long term you are gonna have to like them for more then just their looks.