I met with this girl, and at the second meeting she invited me to her place and we were listening to some music while drinking beer. I felt everything was okay and asked for her consent for a kiss , she said it was cute but she's not sure because her last break up was hurtful and right now she's taking a new antidepressant's pills. So , understanding the situation I said, "if you want I can leave ". But apparently she was okay with me staying. Meanwhile while laughing and all I touched are legs and all and she seems okay with it and both of the time we met she gave me a tight hug , not in a friendly way, but more like a partner way. Now I don't know how I should proceed. I am feeling confused
How should I proceed with this girl?
What Girls Said
You were respectful but I think you shouldn't -ever- say "if you want I can leave" because it's obvious a woman would never tell you "yes", to not offend and to not face conflicts, she will feel just pushed to say:"No, you can stay!" even if she hates you. And it just comes off as very insecure and passive. Unfortunately the line between respectful and insecure/repulsive is tiny. Avoid any other thing like:"Can I disturb?" etc. Any question that would force a girl to reply in your hoped way is bad, in general, and a turn off for many.
On the other side, many girls want to be "guided", taken somewhere else from their current situation. So you shouldn't let her guide that. You can respect the fact she needs time, that means you should do your steps with a slower pace, like not texting her too much, letting dust to settle every now and then. But that doesn't mean she has to set the path, most likely she doesn't want to. You should involve her in activities, invite her, propose something fun to do where she can be dragged into and enjoy it. You may invite her for an event you would go by yourself already, for example. Things that show her you are a good bridge that leads to positivity, adventures, freedom.
Which might include a more casual kiss in another circumstance that gives less space for complex thoughts (outdoor, while you are behaving like a couple already), without asking her permission.
Now don't tell her anything for a while, she understood your are into her already, and being pushy with text would lower your chances, so if you let her process for some days in silence she will feel free to figure fantasies in her mind (this free space left is important, don't burn it). Be a little absent, busy etc, for some days. Then after a while, propose something to do, perhaps outdoor.
So, recently I asked her out and said let's go skating and before she was depressed and was taking some pills. And she texted me this "I'm feeling totally apathy. I don't go out of my room, except to buy food for Sher (name of her cat). I have a regression of my condition." After that I texted her I want to see her in better condition and you'll be better. Now I don't think I can do anything. So should I stop texting her until she texts me or how long should I wait?
If she actually suffers of depression she is probably needing space and being pushy will just make her close in herself more, which is often misunderstood by people who are not depressed as "laziness" but forcing them out causes the opposite effect.
However a depressed person may use this condition as an excuse to not meet someone they don't want to, to "not offend".
Also, does she skate too? If yes, that was an appropriate proposal. If not, well, why would she come seeing someone else skating? Not an attractive activity to do.
Regardless, you should take it like it is: a no, whatever the reason.
So it will be her turn to reach out if she likes you back. She understood already you like her, so she has all the space to reach out if she wants. If she never texts you anymore at all while you also don't text her at all too, I'd say she wanted to reject you from the beginning.
She told me before that she skates a lot before and in the last couple of years she has stopped doing it and wanted to try it out again with me. Also about skating, she told me ,"i don't mind, but i have no strength to go out of my home, sorry (". So as you've said , I understand that it's a no. And about space , how long should I give her and then move on in case I did not hear from her?
I would personally wait 2-3 weeks but there is no definitive answer, it's a balance between her needs and respecting yourself.
So , on the 7th January she invited me to her place as she got some weed for me. When I said why ain't you smoking she said she'll have a headache and she just wanted me to feel high and have a good time and she likes to see me like that. After that we watched a movie and then we hugged a little bit and then she said because of the apathy she can't feel anything. i said it's okay and take your time and she replied "it's not ok as I want to feel something" then after that we chatted a lot and then in the end before I left, I hugged her from back while sitting in the bed for at least 6 minutes. Now at that time her condition got fucked up so she is admitted to the hospital, right now she still is. do you think those are positive signs from her or it's just I'm thinking too much into it?
Very hard to say, her mental condition sounds too degenerated to read anything "coherent" if she got to the hospital... Better waiting her to recover I guess, without pushing.