Did she want me?

[VietKinh]

Hello girls---I been dying to ask this question.

My crush approached me, and she gave me signs that she liked me. For instance, she told me she noticed me playing basketball and asked if I was a break-dancer. She was smiling the entire time... but I said the dumbest thing and she left.

She asked me "what I did for fun", and I told her the following: Last Halloween I went to a Halloween party with my class, and we drank and got high, even my professor joined in (trying to impress her), because since I never grew up around white girls, my only impression of them is through the media.

The thing is, would another girl have left after she what I said, or she would still stay? Please note, I never once complimented her (I didn't want to sound desperate in my mind), so she had no idea I wanted her. I rarely drink or smoke and she probably thought I was a party guy (based on my look) or worse, an alcoholic. Complete miscommunication on my part. But I thought white girls like to party? Or was she different? I wouldn't have said it if it led to her leaving in a hurry. How would you react if I said that and didn't even show interest? Would you have done the same?

I should have said "well I'm currently single and looking for a girlfriend"... but I panicked.

Even though we won't ever be forever, did she wanted me?

Updates

1 y

I was hoping more people would chime in.

[SueShe]

Are you really 34 as your profile states?

Your reaction is rather the one of an early teen of 14-15 at best but certainly not the one of a person that is in his mid-thirties.

Your proposed reaction is not the one any girl wants to hear. If you say that "I am looking for a girlfriend", that places you immediately on the red list of people to avoid. Clearly, you would only make it worse if you mention that you are looking for a girlfriend.

You would probably have gotten the exact same reaction from that girl. At least that is how I would have reacted. If I go to a party, it is not because I am trying to pick up guys or girls and that is a red flag if someone tells me that they are on the party to look for a girl.

[VietKinh]

What should I have said instead? I wanted to impress her (in my own mind). I figured telling her I work out (she already knows), play basketball (she already knew), mountain biking, road biking, movies, eating out, was too generic?

[Graci_e]

A white girl is no different to a black girl. Having a certain skin colour doesn't make you a difference human being. We're all individuals and what you're trying to figure out has nothing to do with race but her specifically as a person.

A lot of girls wouldn't be into that, i know that would gross me out. Just be yourself and the right girl will like you for you.

[SnowedIn]

Why would you say that? (Don't answer; rhetorical question.)

I don't know if she wanted you but she was interested.

You blew it.

That said, don't give up or say forever. She saw something in you that sparked her interest. If you really are the guy you want to be, find her. Look her in the eye and tell her that you said a bunch of stupid stuff and didn't say the real stuff that you should have said and would she give you another chance to not be stupid. Then ask her for coffee or ramen or whatever it is that she likes. But own your mistake and learn from it.

[VietKinh]

Because I had no idea how to talk to girls. I bought a pickup book (Modern Man) a week prior and was so focused on remembering what the book taught me, that I completely felt overwhelmed and panicked. I'm not a PA, but "supposedly" they taught you how to talk to girls (wrong in my case). If only I didn't buy that stupid book or went to that Halloween party. It no joke but I pay 70 dollars to lose my crush.

But before she left, I struggled to tell her how I felt about her. I was so afraid of rejection. Since I have had a crush on her for 2 years, I was afraid it would just break me.

Usually, most people messed up and learned from their mistakes in High School, but I never had that chance.

[SnowedIn]

go try one more time. forget about the book. frankly, forget about us and this platform. go have a human conversation with her. talk to her. ask her questions. I assume you are able to converse with other humans, do that with her.

[Guy13]

I think it’s too late.

[Summeroflove]

Ask her out