so it's my boyfriend's birthday on Thursday and I wanted to get him something interactive, something we could enjoy together. then he told me about a concert he wants to go to that's happening a day before his bday (tomorrow). so weeks ago I bought us tickets and he was excited I did that for him. today when we were talking about the concert and our plans he told me he didn't want to go. he said that his old high school friends are going to be there (all of whom I've met and they're good guys) and he really doesn't want to see them. he then said he's really not excited about it. so I told him that that's OK even though don't really understand, it's his choice to not want to go.
then I told him I'd make alternate plans, sell his ticket and go with some girlfriends. then he said that it's OK, that he'll go. I told him I don't want him going just because I got us tickets or because I want to go, because I want to go to have fun and if he's not having fun I'm going be down the whole night too and not be able to have fun myself. then I asked him if he WANTS to go. and he just said "i'll go".
i don't want him to do me any favors here. like I still have time to sell his ticket. I not only don't want him to waste my money but now I think he's being selfish. this was a concert HE told me about. we made plans to go 3 weeks ago. this was meant to be HIS birthday present aka something he actually wants. if he's just going to go and frown to make me 'happy' how is that a birthday present for him? I could go and have just as much fun with my girlfriends. then we could do something else together that he ACTUALLY wants on his actual birthday.
i don't know how to bring this up with him because I'm pretty upset right now. he doesn't see it as a problem that he just told me he doesn't want the birthday gift he told me to get him but he'll tolerate it for me.
am I just seeing all this in some twisted way or am I right? what do I say to him? I really would just rather sell his ticket and spend that money on a cab ride home rather than have him there when he doesn't want to be. but if I bring that up with him he'll just think I don't want him to go... he sees things in such a weird way. when I tried before he just said "calm down, I was just telling you how I feel, I'll go" ?!
i'm not being irrational, he is. does he just not want me to go out without him? cus that would be the most insecure immature thing I've ever heard
then I told him I'd make alternate plans, sell his ticket and go with some girlfriends. then he said that it's OK, that he'll go. I told him I don't want him going just because I got us tickets or because I want to go, because I want to go to have fun and if he's not having fun I'm going be down the whole night too and not be able to have fun myself. then I asked him if he WANTS to go. and he just said "i'll go".
i don't want him to do me any favors here. like I still have time to sell his ticket. I not only don't want him to waste my money but now I think he's being selfish. this was a concert HE told me about. we made plans to go 3 weeks ago. this was meant to be HIS birthday present aka something he actually wants. if he's just going to go and frown to make me 'happy' how is that a birthday present for him? I could go and have just as much fun with my girlfriends. then we could do something else together that he ACTUALLY wants on his actual birthday.
i don't know how to bring this up with him because I'm pretty upset right now. he doesn't see it as a problem that he just told me he doesn't want the birthday gift he told me to get him but he'll tolerate it for me.
am I just seeing all this in some twisted way or am I right? what do I say to him? I really would just rather sell his ticket and spend that money on a cab ride home rather than have him there when he doesn't want to be. but if I bring that up with him he'll just think I don't want him to go... he sees things in such a weird way. when I tried before he just said "calm down, I was just telling you how I feel, I'll go" ?!
i'm not being irrational, he is. does he just not want me to go out without him? cus that would be the most insecure immature thing I've ever heard
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