I dont get what to do?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy on a social platform as study partner and since at that time I was only interested in studying with him I told him that I was the same batch and birth year as him (that is a year younger than I actually am; he is a younger than me!) As we got to talking more , we got attracted and eventually attached to each other (I know I am) But he still doesn't my real name/age/batch/college. I feel like losing him just feels so heavy on my chest. For now I have told him that I dont want to talk to him cause there is no future that I see with him , he got miffed with me and even blocked me. I thought that it happened for good but after 2 days I started to miss him a lot and so I made him unblock me. Now he doesn't texts me much but I feel very bad not being able to talk to him. Only I text him these days to ask a doubt or discuss something study related. What do I do?

Updates

1 y

I dont have the guts to tell him the truth but he might eventually find out making me look like a low person. I tried to phase him out from my life but I am attached. What to do?

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am i would say that say the truth and let's hope for the best. You don't want to make the lie as a base of your relationship. I know you fear to loose him but when he would get to know then. So tell him

[Asker]

I have an imp. exam coming up... it will mess with my mind so I'll tell him after that. by the way you are Indian... if u were a boy in this position and the girl told u that she is a year elder and her real name. What would be your reaction?

[Vikkrram]

Irrespective of any Nationality people would behave same.

But tbh if i have feelings for you then i would accept the fact it won't matter much to me but i would have told you that you should have told me the right information about yourself.

Otherwise he would believe that you also chat wid other guys and now you telling him all these things

[Asker]

He knows i dont chat with other guys. I really like him a lot. but the fear of losing him prevents me from telling truth about myself

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am look when anyone get to know about an lie then he or she assumes that the whole person is lie so chances are there. I am not making you fear but it can be.

So tell me you both have confessed your love?

[Asker]

yes... we told each other that we love each other. I am attached to him. Boys dont get attached easily i think. Hua ye tha ki I told him ki hnari caste alg hai toh hm sath nhi reh skte toh wo bura maan gya or block kr diya then i told him to unblock kyuki mjhe accha nhi lg rha tha uske bina... but iske baad se usne baat krna band kr diya hai... i feel sad... kash hm sath ho pate... apne profession itna bdiya bnda dobara milna is difficult

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am to aap aur wo kya karti hain? Kis profession mein hain aap log dono?

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am see sabse pehle to ye unko clear kar dijiye ki main to saath rehna chahti hoon par kya aap apne aur mere family se is chiz pe agree karwa sakte hain? Aur let's say ki humare family nahi maani to kya aap ke pass koi backup plan hai?

[Asker]

hum dono mbbs graduates hain... Neetpg ke liye pdh rhe hain... doctors hain dono

[Asker]

mjhe pehle sach btana hoga use agr wo hi nhi mana sach jaanne ke baad toh famliy ka sawal hi nhi... mene baato baato me puccha tha... he said ghrwalo ko bado ldki se dikkat ho skti hai... khudka nhi btaya tha

[Vikkrram]

Sahi hai na ma'am agar ladka acche nature ka ho earn kar raha ho to i think ki tab to gharwalon ko problem nahi hogi ma'am..

[Asker]

haan but usse btane me hi darr lg rha hai... kafi aage nikl aaye the hm apni rltnshp me

[Asker]

abhi baat nhi ho rhi utni

[Vikkrram]

Thik hai lekin batana to hoga na aur ab aap keh rahi hain ki ab baat nahi ho rahi hai utni to ab ye bhi problem hai ki unko sabse pehle Convo mein kaise laaya jaaye aur agar abhi aap ye sab batayengi to baat bigad hi jayegi

[Asker]

hmara exam hai neet pg 2 mnths baad... me nhi chahti abhi koi bhi cheez mjhe mentally pareshan kare... wo abhi naraz hua toh mere pr effect ayega... toh me soch rhi hun ex ke baad hi btaun... ladke utte emotional nhi hote... wo pegle bahut pichhe pda tha ki become my girlfriend but hmari thodi ldai ke baad he doesn't text saamne se... kbhi kbhi krta hai ab... pehle jitna nhi... mjhe psnd hai abhi bhi utna hi... toh ab ya toh uske sath relationship me aa jaun bina kucch btaye ya fir exam tk wait krun or exam ke baad sab sach bta dun

[Asker]

fir aage uski marzi

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am kisne aapko ye keh diya ki ladke utne emotionally attached nahi hote aur ladke attached nahi hote aisa nahi hai.

Dusri baat jab aapko lage aisa ki bata dena chahiye to bata dijiye warna rehne dijiyega

[Asker]

haan thanks

[Iron_Man]

Apologize, sweet talk him be consistent don’t be wishy-washy

[Asker]

He will think of me as a lowly person. I am from India and a girl being older than a guy is problematic here even if its just by one year

[Iron_Man]

You have to tell the truth do the right thing swallow your pride

[Asker]

he will think very low of me. How do detach from someone?

[Iron_Man]

No, he won’t go to him before you lose him

[Anonymous]

Relying on texts kills relationships. Good luck.

[Asker]

I feel he is the best guy for me but I am a cheat/ liar. He doesn't know who he was talking to and Im sacred of coming out clean to him. What to do

[Sparkie460]

Do you live close to him or is this a ldr

[Asker]

Long distance relationship. Actually we aren't in a relationship. He persuaded me a lot to get in one but i knew that i am a liar so I stepped back always.

[Sparkie460]

Why do you lie and about what

[Asker]

I dont know why I lied. I am a year older than him and my name that i Have told him is a nickname ( not my real name) He is a really really nice guy. This thought that even if i want him ;I can't get him cause im a liar eats me up everyday.

[Sparkie460]

So stop lying. It will get you nowhere. People don't like liars

[Asker]

I dont lie. He asked me in the beginning of our conversation if I was the same age and batch as him and I just replied yee cause in the beginning my only intention was to study with him and nothing more.

[Sparkie460]

You said you were a liar several times. You are close in age aren't you?

[Asker]

yes... I am a year older than him

[Asker]

Im 25 he is 24

[Sparkie460]

You should just be honest with him.

[Anonymous]

R
Talk on the phone, face time etc.

[Asker]

we have done that before

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time

[Asker]

Elaborate more

[In_Trance]

Your time is better spent on other things

[Asker]

Yeah I get that but with this going on and the idea that I will never be able to be with him despite liking him a lot is really disturbing.