What do you think I should do? any advice please?

[Anonymous]

I’m kinda stuck and want to hear from others. I have a boyfriend of a couple months and I really like him. We just got into the conversation of doing “it” . Before that I said we could do anything and he could do anything he wanted but, the only thing I said no to is sex. I’m kinda scared and I don’t know if I’m ready but I feel like I’m being selfish.

I feel terrible. Any ideas on what to say to him? He asked why I don’t want to do it and I just said I’m not ready.

Please any advice you have or opinions?

[kylee2437]

You aren’t being selfish for not being ready. Having boundaries is 100% okay, and saying no is 100% okay. If he doesn’t understand this and doesn’t understand how much your consent and your comfort is important, this isn’t the guy for you

[Asker]

But he kinda keeps asking and I do not want to upset him. We are both 17. I just feel soo bad

[kylee2437]

Why would you be upsetting him for having boundaries? If this upsets him, he isn’t a safe guy to be with. I’m 25 dear. I’ve been through this before. You are not wrong for having boundaries

[Asker]

I’m afraid that he would get upset because I know he wants do it and I don’t. I want to say yes to things but this one thing I’m not comfortable with

[kylee2437]

Does it remotely sound right that you would be saying yes just to make him happy when this is something that can be life changing in a sense of loss of innocence, possible pregnancy, etc. You are only 17 and I’ll tell you this won’t be the only time you will encounter a moment with a guy asking you to have sex, with that being said I think it’s a great time to practice your boundaries and say no if that’s how you are feeling because again this isn’t going to be the only time where you are going to have to turn down sex from people.

[Asker]

I know, and thank you a lot. I get scared every time I think about what would happen if I lost it.

[Agape93]

If you're not fully ready, don't do it.

[tfan1]

Tell him you are not ready and he should respect your wishes. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one for you.