For the last few months I've been hanging out with this guy every week, just the two of us. A few days ago I decided to confess my feelings to him, and this was his answer:
I am the "best person he has ever met" and "one of the most important people in his life", he is physically attracted by me and thinks I'm pretty, and feels an intense emotional connection with me. Yet, "currently" his "boundary" is a friendship. He said that maybe in the future (he talked about a 10 years time, lol) things will change, but today he doesn't want anything more.
He was shattered when I told him that I'd prefer to cut contact with him, and he said that letting me go was one of the most painful things he has ever done, and that he hopes that someday we can go back to being friends.
Now,
1) Should I stay friends with him or is it better to walk away "forever"?
2) Do you think things could actually change in the future?
3) If he is physically attracted to me plus likes me so much as a person, why isn't he interested in me? What could I do to improve?
I have to add that there's a significant age gap between us.
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They absence makes the heart grow fonder but not in my case. I would be like that wasn't meant to be and move on without regret as I avoided getting in trouble with that girl. You can not manipulate him into love but you can manipulate him into action or chasing you. I hope you know the difference. Best with him...
Sounds like the dude is DemiRomantic and doesn't want to rush things. Yes, 10 years is a long time, (even as a DemiRomantic person myself that's a lot), but mention it as "friends with romantic benefits" just start with cuddling together (nothing sexual) and watching a movie, doing stuff you both enjoy.. basic relationship and date stuff. Pretty sure he would warm up to that. It's good to understand boundries, but to automatically cut ties because he's nervous and not ready is honestly a missed opportunity for a possibly healthy relationship.
Thank you, I really liked your answer.
I'm not sure that he is demiromantic because he has fallen quickly for other women in the past, as far as I know.
And regarding "friends with romantic benefits". I think it would be a really nice idea, I'd love to have such a relationship with him, but he seems to have strong boundaries, so I'm not sure about pushing them.
Because I forgot to mention that he said that he doesn't feel romantic feelings toward me rn.
i would take this as a way of him rejecting you. i would just stay friends while setting firm boundaries (like not hanging out alone with him, being open to meeting new people, and no more sweet talks).