Have you ever felt like you treated someone really well, then they dump you, and date someone else way longer who treats them like crap?

[Anonymous]

I feel like this has happened to me a few times. I dated this one lady for a little less than 2 months, and she decides to end things, as she didn't feel the magic or pull with me. She also insisted that I didn't do anything wrong. This was over a year and a half ago, and while we did remain friends, I'm 100% over my romantic feelings for her at this point. She tells me about this boyfriend of hers who she's been with way longer than I was who is living with her, but hasn't made money in like 6 months, and tries to tell her what food to buy. She tells me she decided to kick him out, and is also considering dumping him. I don't disagree, but she unintentionally reminded me about my luck with women. Does anyone else have this kind of misfortune, where you treat them well, they dump you, and someone else who treats them horribly lasts longer with them?

I talked about her with some male friends of mine, and one of them felt she has bad taste in men, and while I do respect her, I can't disagree with my male friend about that.

[Anonymous]

To a degree, I guess. I had someone cheat, and dump me for (I believe) someone older, though I don't know how old everyone was that she cheated on me with (nor do I particularly care). They treated her badly, but she wanted it (as messed up as I personally think that is), so...

I dated someone else who I dumped because of many reasons. Partly she was sniffing around too many other guys - but she latched onto someone else pretty quickly.. and of course, it didn't work out. I guess, according to friends, she thought the guy treated her like crap. Whether or not he did, who knows. She picked some pretty crappy dudes (except me), but got so neurotic from those guys that she took it out on me - so if he was decent, I get that she would have talked crap about him, too. I have confidence that until she changes/grows up, she will probably always get crappy guys (or lose the few good boyfriends she might luck out with by treating them like they're the exes). While I wish her the best, past a point, I don't really care - not that I wish her harm. But the boys she chooses is her issue.

Now there have been girls I've dated (or had crushes on) who dropped me (or didn't date me for whatever reasons) who I think made some seriously bad choices with those they dated after I was (sort of) out of their lives. Though there are some that dated guys who were a better fit and were genuinely decent guys, which I was happy these women found someone that clicked better than I probably would have (I would have probably made a decent to amazing boyfriend with them, it just might not have gelled as well). There are those I think I would have been a better fit with, but I can't control that they didn't see it that way. I don't hold grudges with these women. Most were lovely - it just didn't feel right - though I would have hoped they picked decent guys... unfortunately, some didn't. I'm disappointed in that, but it probably worked out for the best that I wasn't the guy they chose or obsessed over.

A few who ended up being horrible ended up finding equally horrible men... and they deserve whatever bad they get; because I know they're probably doing the same to these guys on the sly. And I realize that while it may not feel so good, I have dodged a few bullets by not ending up with them. So I just let it go.

[Guy13]

No because I don’t treat them to well too begging with. When that happens they think one is needy snd that’s the end of that.
There is no mystery and there is just nothing but this nerdy guy who will please anyone or anything that comes his way.-I have heard girls say it just like that.

The mystery part is me. You gave up all the prizes on the front end and too easily. Date…not go on dates and standardize a defined and titled relationship.

[Asker]

I mean like we had good dates and there was chemistry there, at least for a little while. It's not like I bought her flowers every date or did a lot of ass-kissing. I think certain other women would've loved to be with someone like that.

[Guy13]

Oh…okay-Sorry I apparently misinterpreted. Corny animal jokes and “ahhh, makes me laugh” is like spraying wd-40 on her pants zipper 😎

[jennifer_bloom]

A lot of young people choose social systems and social dynamics over personal kindness because it’s viewed as a common and unnecessary trait. I think she will grow out of this and realize she made a mistake.

[Asker]

Honestly thinking about it, I think my mom went through something like that since she was with a few bad guys during her 20's and early 30's, and had kids with them that treated her horribly, but some the guys she dated while I was growing up weren't like that at all. There was one guy that I really liked that treated her great, but he and my mom lived too far from each other

[Anonymous]

Are they really being ‘treated like crap’ or are you misunderstanding. Chemistry is passion. Teasing, sexual tension, goading. All of these things are done out of love not hate.

[Asker]

I'd say they're treated like crap. She texted me telling me about how lazy and entitled he's being, and is about to break up with him. She should dump him, but she'd apparantly rather deal with someone horrible that doesn't care how she feels longer than someone like me, who, at worst, was just kind of bored with

[Opinion Owner]

So she’s dating different types of men to see who fits her best? Sounds normal.

[Asker]

Yes, but she put up with that a lot longer than she dated me, that's the thing I question

[Opinion Owner]

She obviously liked him for a quality you didn’t see.

[Asker]

Yes, but also has to deal with a ton of issues with it

[Opinion Owner]

That was her choice. She thinks differently than you do.

[Asker]

Yes, but she agrees with me about her current boyfriend treating her horribly

[Opinion Owner]

And this proves nothing. lol

[bamesjond0069]

Perfect example of a "nice guy".

Don't be that. No women want it. You can be nice but you also must be a dick or annoy them.

You also can't just fuck them like a delicate flower. Slap their ass, spit in their mouth, call them a slut.

[Asker]

I can understand women wanting a confident guy, even an ass slap here and there, but I don't understand the "be a dick" part. I have friends with girlfriends, one of them is even married. None of them are like that to their significant others.

[bamesjond0069]

Well there are dominant and submissive women. Dominant women will be with a submissive man or a dominant man. Submissive women will only be with a dominant man. She's a submissive woman but one who needs a man who can be a dick. Like tbh if you said "I own you you're my property and ill fuck you anytime I want and you better never say no" she would have ate that shit up.

Your buddies either have some degree of this in private or they are basically simpin pussy whipped men with a woman who dominates them.

[Asker]

I thought more about what you're saying, and I can kind of see why some women would want that, since they have different thoughts than guys do. I still don't think either of my friends and theirs are like that at very much, maybe they just don't show it in public much. When I dated this lady in particular, we went on 6 dates, and we didn't have sex, but I wanted to wait on that. I'm not sure if she wanted that as well, but she never gave me any hints on her wanting it. Maybe I could've done an ass slap here and there

[bamesjond0069]

You shouldn't have waited. Try to have sex asap. That's the best way to keep a girl interested.

[Asker]

I didn't want to yet, and I don't regret that. Why should I sacrifice my personal happiness and morals because the girl I'm dating wanted to? That would be very desperate on my part and shows a lack of confidence. I'm someone who believes in taking it somewhat slow, and not wanting first date sex. It's possible she may have wanted it, but she hadn't been to my place yet, nor had I been to hers

[Jltakk]

never had a partner, but I can say that I've witnessed this second-hand before

[Anonymous]

That's probably a sign you're too needy and the other person felt emotionally drained

[Asker]

Why would I be needy? I just don't understand women's (and maybe men's too) viewpoints about it. I gave her space when needed, and she told me at the time she felt comfortable around me. She also assured me that I didn't do anything wrong, just didn't feel the magic or pull

[Opinion Owner]

Because she isn't going to tell you what you did wrong. What's in it for her to do that? She's already decided she's had enough of whatever she didn't like about the relationship right? So what are the possible outcomes from her perspective? Either you take it well and feel like you deserve another chance or something or you are bitter and it turns into a stressful situation for her.

Nobody gets into a committed relationship with someone seriously and doesn't try their best. It's not like she probably doesn't have doubts that her issues with you were unreasonable. Have you ever had a girl who was needy? It sucks to feel that way about someone, especially when you like them otherwise.

[Asker]

She told me this way after we were done dating. And I thought a lot about it, and I really don't think I did anything wrong. At first, I did think I was a little too affectionate, and she told me that was understandable and that's not the reason. I did take it well, and respected her wishes. I did date one woman who was very needy. She'd always want to talk to me, and would get mad if I didn't text back in 5 minutes. I really don't think it was a needy problem on my end. That all said, there could be something she never told me about it

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've seen this a lot.

[PatriceONeal]

Yeah thats women

[Asker]

I can understand dominance in sex or something, but there's gotta be a fine line somewhere. It's like women tell us they don't want to be treated like objects, but then people like me get the shaft while they go date someone who treats them like objects

[PatriceONeal]

They want to have their cake and eat it too. I. e. Be hoes but not be judged like a hoe. It's all too common I our hyper sexualized culture. It doesn't help women objectify themselves far better than men ever could.

[20alliecat20]

Yess