Why is it hard for me to get attracted to men, I rarely ever do?

I've only felt deep attraction (both an emotional bonding and physically) towards two men in my lives. Even came to loving them. However, neither of them reciprocated and never will, sadly.


He was my childhood friend from 4th grade. I've always been pining for him and no one else in the class. I would describe him as smart like always, funny, babyface, charismatic and good with animals/nature. Plus he's always been very attractive even as a kid. He overheard me once when we were 16 but admitted not to feel the same way. I cried alone in my bed. We're still platonic friends but have dated others. I didn't develop attraction towards anyone at school and didn't go to my HS prom. I felt nothing for anyone else.


I met him in my freshman year of college last year. We were assigned together for a research project about childhood bullying and its psychological effects. He had certain characteristics that reminded me of my David and instantly I began feeling attraction towards him. He dated someone else and only treated me as a college acquaintance. I have him on my FB contact but we only speak once in a while. He's in a relationship by now. I've been rejected once again and it really sucks. I came to loving him too.

Currently I don't like anyone else. I've gotten hit on a lot but don't like none of them. I feel nothing for them. What's wrong with me? Why can't I get attracted to more men? Those were the only 2 men I've melted for.. the ones I'll never have.

Why is it hard for me to get attracted to men, I rarely ever do?
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