What should I do guys?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend & I have been together for over a year now. We had just resumed back to uni after the Christmas break. I went to visit him & my friend had called me & I responded to my friend that I was gon call back when I got home. Immediately, my boyfriend asked who I was talking to & I told him who it was. He then asked that I gave him my phone. I declined because that sounded like he didn’t trust me. He immediately asked me to leave his house. I got mad cos I was disrespected. I left & halfway, I went back because, why would he ask me to leave his house? I hit his door twice & immediately he opened the door, he dragged me inside & kept calling me stupid & dumb & I asked why he asked me to leave? He kept saying I was stupid. I held his hands showing him how aggressive he was when he dragged me inside. Because that was painful. Immediately, he choked my neck & pushed me to the wall which led to me hitting my head to the wall & he slapped me & told me to never in my life touch him. I shouted for help & his friends came to my rescue & he kept saying he needed me to get out of his apartment. I left & went straight to my friend’s. I sustained injury on my shoulder. I told my friends what had happened. They got really upset & called him & he said “I’m sleeping”… later in the night, he kept calling to apologize & sent me messages on WhatsApp saying he didn’t know how it happened. He was sorry blablabla & I blocked him immediately (he had blocked me on all platform the evening he hit me) his friends begged me to agree to meet them so he could apologize. I declined but they kept begging. He bent before me crying & I cried too because I was so hurt & even though he did all that, I still love him so much.

Updates

1 y

He said he didn’t feel like he could continue with the relationship because he was ashamed & I said that was fine but he obviously didn’t mean it because he kept holding my hands and asked if he could come see me again. Days after, he kept acting nice but was kinda awkward between us & I asked him if he still loved me, and he said he didn’t love me as much as he did anymore & i got so disappointed because I had given him the chance to make things right but gave up after 2 days of apologizing

[SueShe]

A person that has a history of domestic violence will never ever get out of that situation without the help of counseling and without a specialist to supervise his progress. Actually, this guy needs to be institutionalized for assaulting you and you should not let it go unpunished.

What you must do is to file legal action against this perpetrator and ask the authorities to issue a restraining order for him to stay at a certain distance from you. Do not let yourself be softened by his apparent apology. This is not remorse that he has but he is afraid that you will take action against him.

If you need to see him, then make it in such a way that you have 2 witnesses that can record the conversation and tape the entire meeting on your behalf. Best would be to have a legal counselor accompanying you.

Those kind of toxic people are imprevisible and you cannot be safe all by yourself.

[PrettyPriya]

You need to call the authorities. He assaulted you. You do not deserve the physical, mental or verbal abuse. There is no excuse for his behaviour. I really urge you to reach out to someone to help. A good friend @Agape93 would say the same thing I am saying.

You need to cut all ties with this guy. I don't care how much he apologized. How bad do you think it will be next time? You could end up in the hospital or worse. This is a massive red flag and that the relationship should be over.

I understand you feel like you love him and want to forgive. All you will be doing is teaching him that no matter what he does to you, you will take him back. You will only empower him to push it further next time, at the cost of your physical and mental well-being. I can promise you that this does not end well unless you leave him for good.

[Agape93]

Exactly 💯

[Asker]

I’m glad to hear someone tell me this. I keep thinking about not finding someone else😞😢 or what another person got the best version of him because I couldn’t forgive him. I couldn’t move my neck for days because of how he choked me. I had always been the one holding the relationship. He always found it easy to walk away from me whenever. It’s painful. Because I was expecting that after what had happened, he’d get better but he only apologized for 2 days & told me he didn’t want to continue with the relationship anymore. Okay! That wasn’t even the issue for me. I called him to come follow me to the clinic & he said he was too busy

[PrettyPriya]

I am so very sorry to hear this happened to you. If you EVER want to talk in private for reassurance that you are doing the right thing, you can follow me or @Agape93 and we can DM you since you are probably Xper level 1.

You are doing the right thing by not forgiving him. He is a horrible person and you deserve better than that. Don't give in to him or those feelings of past love. They will betray you in the end.

[Asker]

Thank you so much priya. You are kind.

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome and I wish you nothing but the best and better things to come.

[Stevefiveo]

He just showed his true side and how he feels about you. Runaway!

[LazerBean]

The obvious thing to do is explicitly explain to him why what he did was extremely shitty, and then never acknowledge his existence ever again.

[TheMoreMiffed]

leave this mentally ill man