What should I do? guy bailed on a date with me Saturday then came back with this message today?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

So.. I texted him saying I’d be willing to talk again and he has replied asking if I was another woman.. my name is Emma and he said “is this Kellie?” So I told him to have a good one

Updates

+1 y

That tells me everything I need to know..

[Anonymous]

His feelings are valid, I understand and I think we’ve all been there. Just because we can relate to what he’s feeling though doesn’t mean it’s the right way to handle things. It also doesn’t mean he’s the best guy to date, because what does that say about how he deals with his emotions? Does he just jump ship and block people when shit gets hard or if he gets bored? Is he someone who will commit or is he too indecisive? Will he be inconsistent or disappointing you often and expecting you to forgive his apology each time? If you can relate to what he’s done, does that mean you just knowingly step into a trauma bond and sign yourself up for a dramatic dynamic? You can do better.

[Asker]

You’ve got a great point

[Opinion Owner]

In response to your update, I’m kinda glad it worked out that way. I think you were setting yourself up to deal with someone who would hurt and/or disappoint you.

[Asker]

He probably treats them all like that

[Asker]

And the idea of me being treated like one in a bunch.. screw this guy

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I find it disrespectful and lazy to not even both remembering who’s number belongs to who. That was one of the reasons I got sick of the dating apps and abandoned them for good. I don’t want to be one of many or feel like I’m in competition with whatever other woman/women the guy is entertaining.

[Screenwriter]

It took him two days to tell you this? I'm having doubts about his mindset. It was incredibly rude to stand you up, and it was HIS responsibility to cancel BEFORE the date, not to back-peddle two days later after BLOCKING you!!!

He admits it was HIS fault. But how old is he? 12? Bad manners and he's confused about how serious a date is. Was this the first date? If it was, I'd make it the last.

If you've seen him before and this is a blip, it might be excusable. Otherwise, he sounds like he has a screw loose. The blocking is really disturbing. He cut YOU off and it was HIS faux pas. He owed you an apology immediately. Red flag.

[Asker]

For reallll

[Inbox]

Yeah, that was a shitty thing to do, It's normal to get a little nervous before a date, but to stand a person up, then block, then try to come back - drop this low life.

[Screenwriter]

@Inbox I'm in love with you!!! Great reply.

[OddBeMe]

Dump him. Can’t even get the balls to go on a date?

He’s prob in a relationship. Married or living with the person and she changed her plans. So he had to ditch you.

Please dump him. Don’t be a pussy.

[Summeroflove]

Well. If he’s not interested in you then he should have said so. I think you should tell him how you feel. I can assume you’re not interested in seeing him anymore and if that’s the case be clear with that.

[AviatorTom]

Do you like him? If so, try for another date.

[Miristheiss]

Walk away.

Don't respond. Just move on.

Here is the type of "bailed on a date" you can go out with again:

"Hey, I am so sorry but an emergency has come up and I'm going to need to cancel tonight. I am really looking forward to going out, I want to re-schedule will next Friday work for you? Once again, I'm so sorry to do this to you but it is unavoidable.

[spartan55]

This is the way.

[Giddyup]

I think I have missed out on a potentially good opportunities after women have canceled on first dates. They could have been nervous or they could have had legitimate reasons. Hell I was nervous too.

I am a calm person, but I likely overreacted and we never met. Lesson learned and still learning from life. Act calmly and don't overreact!

[Giddyup]

Well hold on, in replies below you said he is autistic and has asperges? Simply asking, are you Autistic? Doesn't really matter for my opinion, but just reinforces the point that everyone needs to act calmly and rationally even if others are not. No rash decision should be followed by an equally rash response... nothing good ever comes from that.

[Asker]

I’m not autistic.. should I give him another shot?

[Giddyup]

If your interested in him, then I say Yes. But be careful in case a pattern develops. Might be helpful to calmly mention your concern with him if you have not already. If your not sure after some time, then move on.

[DarkWinterNights]

Depends. How much do you know about him? Does he go on a lot of dates? If it’s been awhile and he had anxiety, it’s unlikely- but possible his explanation is true. If he’s no stranger to dating, than he likely blew you off for another woman who he ended up just hooking up with or who blew him off for another guy.

[Asker]

We had only been talking for a couple days but he asked me on a date and I said yes

[DarkWinterNights]

Well it’s up to you if you want to give him another chance.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound genuine. I never take an apology message seriously if they have to send the message in multiple messages

Why are you bothering to come here asking for advice when it clears as day you will take him back give him another chance.

[techgirl7]

Ugh, sounds like he's either very young, immature, and inexperienced or a f*ckboy type. If it's the latter then he was talking to another woman, hooked up with her, and lost interest in her afterwards and is looking for another conquest (you) to possibly do the same to. He could've had plans with another woman and they fell through so now he's circling back to you. I'd not waste time on someone who would block you for no good reason like that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sounds like a loser. You dodged a bullet. It's bad enough that he bailed on a date, but block your number too? Nope. Plenty other people in the world. He's not special.

[Asker]

Why would he come back like that tho? Isn’t that embarrassing enough to not want to

[BoopBoopBeep]

Why would a loser do a loser thing? I mean... that's redundant isn't it? If he had any self-respect we wouldn't be having this conversation to begin with.

[Sweetsurprize]

Sounds immature.

It's up to you if you want to guy this 10 year old another chance. BLOCKING you for no good reason and on a first date? Sounds unstable already. Good luck with this one lol.

[Sweetsurprize]

Give I mean. Give this guy another chance with you.

[Asker]

But think not only for myself.. it’s valid for him to have those feelings

[Sweetsurprize]

How is it VALID for a person to block you, especially if he doesn't really know you just yet? Unless you did something to scare him off, that's not valid. It's RUDE to say the least. I don't know your whole situation (only you would know more than me), but from what I am reading from this question is that he is unstable and doesn't really know what he wants. Sounds indecisive.

[Asker]

It’s valid because I’ve done it before

[Sweetsurprize]

Well I don't think that is very nice of you to do that, but hey it's your life.

If someone comes back after rejecting you. It shows more about them. They thought they could do better (grass is greener syndrome), and when they find out that isn't the case, they tend to regret their decision and come crawling back to you. Pathetic.

[Paris13]

He Had Ghosted You as He was Scared of Going too Fast but a Second Chance to Slow it Down. One more Chance. xxoo

[Asker]

Give him another chance?

[Paris13]

Perhaps One More with a Warning. xxoo

[Static_In_The_Attic]

On Saturday you had a date, he bailed on you, he blocked your ass & now he has the nerve to message you today which it Monday, WTF?

If truth be told you should tell him to GO POUND SAND!

[Asker]

Exactly

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I believe in second chances however I also believe in three strikes & you are out & this joker already burned his bridges. I’m going to ask you a question straight out so here it is.

Do you like him? The like as in you can see yourself loving him.

[Asker]

Yea but part of me just has a big ego that wants to just reject him because this always happens with men. But he means well I think, and he’s autistic

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Listen to your heart in this case & not your big ego & if you still like him give him one more chance. Send him a little message & be open & honest with him. Send him a message like the following.
I was all ready for our date on Saturday & you bailed on me & really hurt. You blocked me & that hurt me again & to top it off you didn’t message me until a few days later. As much as it hurt I’m going to give you another chance to make things right so my question to you is do you want another chance?

[Asker]

Something simpler?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Exactly & in your own words.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to let them know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all.

[exitseven]

I think he deserves another chance. It took a lot of guts to send you that message. He must really mean it.

[Asker]

Really?

[Asker]

He does have aspergers if that helps

[exitseven]

I heard that makes it hard to interact with people.

[ProbablyClueless]

I mean... I personally wouldn't have any patience for that level of confusion, but it doesn't need to be a dealbreaker, if he gets his shit together.

[Jersey2]

Thats a big no. Tell him to go with his gut feeling and good luck. For whatever reason, he doesn’t want to see you face to face and thats a bad sign.

[spartan55]

I don't know, the blocking thing would make me take a pass.

[kespethdude]

This is a big time NOPE. Block him and never look back.

[BigDog1989]

Lol, how many ricks, toms, richards do you have in your phone though

I'm being facetious here, but, you get the point

[Iron_Man]

That’s so lame. Do you know what you’re gonna do right?

[Asker]

I have no idea

[Iron_Man]

You know better than that

[Asker]

Better than what

[Iron_Man]

If a man says that is he really the man for you

[Asker]

Says what? Comes back?

[Asker]

Maybe I don't know it took guts to come back and send that

[Iron_Man]

He blocked you he chickened out he said do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him?

[Asker]

People make mistakes I don't know

[Iron_Man]

I don’t think you get it

[zagor]

Either

a) he has social issues or

b) he found a better date that didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

I can understand that feeling. I can't imagine ever acting on it though.

[Asker]

Huh?

[Opinion Owner]

🙄 do what you want hun.

[WhitneySnow]

He could be legit

[Asker]

My family is saying no so I don't know what to do 👿 😇

[WhitneySnow]

Give him one more chance

[Asker]

I don’t know!!

[WhitneySnow]

Okay

[WhitneySnow]

You totally did the right thing!

[Staximus]

Nevermind this wishy washy idiot

[msc545]

He gets points for honesty...