Guys, Let me know if you want some dating tips from Gummy?

[Gummy_Cluster]

Dating tip 1: When you're out on the town, and you meet a girl you like, don't lead by talking about your tarantula collection. I know it's tempting, but save that for later.

Fred: Hey, do you want to come by my place? I want to show you something.

Gummy: Well, it's getting pretty late.

Fred: It will only take a minute.

Gummy: As tempting as that sounds, I should be heading home.

Fred: I have a huge tarantula collection.

Gummy: A what?

Fred: You know, big spiders.

Gummy: Why?

Fred: Why what?

Gummy: Why would you collect big spiders?

Fred: They're awesome. You wanna see them?

Gummy: Could I just see some pictures?

Fred: No, but if you stop by, you can hold one.

Gummy: Where do you keep them?

Fred: In cages.

Gummy: Do these cages have locks?

Fred: Latches.

Gummy: Why not locks? Two locks would even be better.

(True story. You can't make this shit up) Talk about a silver tongue devil!

I don't want to come across as a spider racist, but I'm just racist against spiders. What does it mean?

[Stevefiveo]

Lol, wow! That is a great story.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Steve, never try online dating. It will scar you for life. The best online date I ever had, was with a witch. (warlock?) Try dancing around that subject and making small talk during dinner.

Gummy: So do you guys attend meetings and stuff.
Fred: Yes
Gummy: Like in the forest at midnight?
Fred: No, just in houses.
Gummy: Yes, that makes perfect sense. You never know what the weather will be like.

I swear this is a true story, and going on a date with a witch (warlock?) was the best of the best. And looking back on it, I think I screwed the pooch. How bad could it be dating a witch?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ihb6FLSh64

[Stevefiveo]

Lol, yeah luckily I am so old that I dated before the internet was invented. Much simpler back then.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

LMAO

[Gummy_Cluster]

The cages should have three locks.

[SnowedIn]

So, what I'm hearing is that Fred likes locking up hairy legged creatures. Gummy, you may have got away alive.

I think I'll stick to simping with girls at bars.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Not a lock, but a latch. You know those crafty fuckers can open a latch. They are smartly, hairy bastards. The only thing worse than a spider, is a bat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9spwDEcz5I

[SnowedIn]

No spiders. No bats. I'll stick to Attack Helicopters.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Wise choice. My company gave me a bonus, so I bought an RC helicopter. I was so excited. I took it outside and crashed it in about 3.8 seconds. I never even got it off the ground. The rotors touched the grass and snapped. I went back to the hobby store and bought a bunch of rotors. Then I got smartly and did a Google search. It turns out that if you put ping pong balls on the four feet of the copter, you can prevent the rotors from hitting the ground on takeoff. Orange balls I got.
I was a great copter pilot. I even flew it in my living room.

So when I see these stupid posts like: "How do you give a blow job"
It makes my blood boil. "Fucking try to fly an RC helicopter in the wind without orange balls, and then get back to me with your trivial crap!" It ain't rocket appliances.

[SnowedIn]

First, I am forever your admirer and defender because you wrote "... an RC helicopter..." Most others would have used 'a' not 'an'.

You're a better person than I am... the RC helicopters are HARD. I want an RC 747 but Mrs. Snow seems to want her living room to not be a hangar. Sigh. It's easier to give a blow job, apparently.

[Gummy_Cluster]

You have to understand, that you are from Mars, and Mrs. Snow is from Venus. The book should be required reading.
Mrs. Snow. Do you like my new orange bikini?
Stupid guy: Is that the only color they had?
Smartly guy: I don't know. Can you twirl around and let me see it from the back?

The smarty guy is getting a lap dance.

[SnowedIn]

HA! I'm color blind. Mrs. Snow knows better to ask me colors.

Great book, by the way.

[ShiftingMonke]

To think, he could've been the man of your dreams, and you'll never know..

[Gummy_Cluster]

You win some, and you lose a bunch.

[gorydetails]

Guys: be interested in things, but no nerd shit.

[Gummy_Cluster]

That guy needs to up his game.

[CubaPirate]

I'll pass