Can you ruin a first date in 5 words or less __ __ __ __ __?

[coachTanthony]

[Guy13]

Off the top of my head...

1. I support animals rights & abortion, rather than, Animals were made for food;dogs to retrieve it and cats to kill the pest and drop on side steps as trophies..

2. I love your shoes... they look Italian, alligator belt, and the flat disk Movada are still hot either/or do you have another car... in the shop, right?

3. That offensive line, a beast... I've got sport tickets for(hockey, Nascar, football, auto show, reptiles etc) Guns/Knives, Home show, fashion show, antique auction, Make-A-Wish-all good.

4. Oh hi girl at "Ruth Chris"

5. Boing, Old School ring, Dating App notification, Boom/bam/Bwwww vibration, in any order.

6. I was not quite honest or Men are so peculiar about (Income, Kids, Feminism)... eventually will be body count too.

7. I love a generous heart/man or I really need shoes(leg extend) or Prada, Channel, or Coach?

[coachTanthony]

Number 5 is money lol

[ShadezMcgee]

"It won't suck itself."

[coachTanthony]

bhaahahahahaahahahahahahaha

[ShadezMcgee]

That or "I thought you'd be thinner."

[DizzyDesii]

The first one is actually hot. But yea the second one would piss me off

[WanderingLoveWizard]

🤣🤣🤣

[ShadezMcgee]

@DizzyDesii that was the point. He said RUIN it in 4 words or less

[DizzyDesii]

I know. I was just saying that only one of those ruined the date. The other i’d laugh off

[ShadezMcgee]

@DizzyDesii I got a couple more now that I think about it.

"Your Mom did it better."
"Do you starfish or move?
"You got the bill, right?"

[DizzyDesii]

The mom one would suck. The starfish would make me laugh. The bill is no big deal since i always turn down the dudes offer on any date (first or not) and pay for myself. But to pay for him too? I dont mind it on the first date but i won't do it after that. I can't tell you how many dudes back in high school and college asked us to pay for them. And they legit saw no shame in it

[Rosexøxø]

“But where’s the free tv?” 🧐

“I was paid to attend..” 😒

“this isn’t the wax museum?” 👀 🛣

“False Teeth. Is that okay?” 🤐

“Every 7 minutes, I pee.” 😬

”Describe how you look, please.” 😎

”I never graduated third grade.” 😐

“So what exactly, “are we?” “ 😟

“I don’t take goodbyes well.” 😶

“Can you pay for me?” 🙁

“My wallet’s at her place.” 😐

“Do you have a sister?” 🤔

“I’m severely allergic to air/water/ grass.” 😶‍🌫️

“I dreamt about you before.” 🤡

[coachTanthony]

All are very solid 😂

[Rosexøxø]

Tyvm ☺️

[ShiftingMonke]

Brilliant!!

[Guardian45]

I don't take goodbyes well.😂🤣😜🤪

[NathanDavis]

[AmandaYVR]

So, what car ya drive?

What income bracket are you?

I feel super nauseated, ugh.

No sex for you, buddy!

You're like my 50th date.

[coachTanthony]

1992 Honda whoop whoop

[AmandaYVR]

Might as well call that the Pussymobile. Ooh la la...

[coachTanthony]

Oh my Honda CRX was rocking back in the day lol

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah, popular, wasn't it.
Think my husband had that back when he was a teenager. Red one.
He crashed it racing up Mulholland Dr. Told his parents an animal ran out on the road.

[coachTanthony]

Yes super popular for sure.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If dating a guy, first date.

I am lesbian.

If he sticks around, I'll say... I know I am, just wanted to try dating the opposite sex. To see how he takes it.

[AviatorTom]

You're paying for this, right?

I am so hard now

How much did you say?

You're gonna have my baby

I don't love my wife

[Genie23]

I am not into guys.

Or

I am asexual.

There. 🤷‍♀️

[ShiftingMonke]

"I'm not allowed near kids."

"Mom doesn't like your dress."

"I'm vegan."

"My P. O. recommend this place."

"Ever heard of 'sounding'?"

"Oh.. your tits aren't fake?"

"I'll have pineapple on mine."

"Can my ex tag along?"

[coachTanthony]

All very solid

[DizzyDesii]

I thought the vegan would ruin it but he was a chef and still made his family and i some ribs 🤣 I wish the tits one would have worked but the nexy line was “prove it” and before ya know it, he's suckin my tits 🤷‍♀️ The kids and ex one would definitely ruin it

[ShiftingMonke]

@DizzyDesii 🤣😂 in not against veganism but she would have to watch me eat a LOT of meat and I'd rather not subject her to that.

I've only ever been with one person with implants; the flashlight trick was cool, but they weren't terribly remarkable outside of that.

Kids aren't for everyone, that's for sure.

[DizzyDesii]

I didn't have implants but he dared me to prove it 🤣 I couldnt not prove it 💀

[DizzyDesii]

I was saying the kids would ruin it because whoever says that in the quotes sounds like a pedo

[ShiftingMonke]

@DizzyDesii seems like he was a gambling man. More courage than me, I lack the testicular fortitude to be so brazen on a first date. 😆

Yes, I meant to imply they were a teenybopper toucher. Socking as it is, my ex (who had kids after me) ended up marrying one.
I suppose they never had that particular conversation.

[DizzyDesii]

Ah i forgot this was about first dates 🤣 No he didn't ask the tatas on a first date lol

[DizzyDesii]

*about

[ShiftingMonke]

@DizzyDesii *whew*
I wasn't going to make a character judgement on you either way; if they are good enough to look fake, it's a very backhanded compliment. 💀 no harm, no foul!

[DizzyDesii]

Hahaha

[Rosexøxø]

I’m not allowed near kids 😭🤣

[Chazmatazz269]

What’s wrong with pineapple?

[ShiftingMonke]

@Chazmatazz269 nothing, unless it's on pizza.

[Chazmatazz269]

I LUV pineapple on pizza!

[ShiftingMonke]

@Chazmatazz269 it's 2023, people are allowed to be wrong. You do you, my guy. 🤣😂

[Chazmatazz269]

Hahahaha! I suppose you’re suggesting i’m on the wrong side of this opinion. Haha!
I think you’re missing out. Pineapple is delicious and it’s really good for you too! Lots of people think it’s weird until they try it. I’ve never met anyone who actually tried it and didn’t like it.

[DizzyDesii]

“Want to be my rebound?”

(I personally don’t rebound but i think that could ruin a date. Wait no i forgot there are some desperados out there lmao. Change of plans.)

“Wanna meet my 12 kids?”

(Alright that ought to work)

[DizzyDesii]

Another good one wouldve been “Why am i here again?” Or “Is it over yet?” or “Wake me when its over?”

[coachTanthony]

OMG lol wake me up when it's over is brutal

[DizzyDesii]

Bahaha

[Jamie05rhs]

LMAO. I remember that movie.

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs Its sex scene was hilariously epic. SHe poured koolaid down his body and slurped it off. I reenacted it with sprite and slurped it off him haha

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Omg 😆

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs haha

[Guardian45]

I dare you to try it with honey or chocolate sauce

[DizzyDesii]

@Guardian45 i dont like the taste of either of those. I rather not puke on him

[Guardian45]

@DizzyDesii. DON'T bother! It was a sticky mess and made me sick!

[DizzyDesii]

@Guardian45 i’ll stick to sprite or whipcream 🤣

[Guardian45]

@DizzyDesii. Whipped cream made me sick too! Too much oil!

[DizzyDesii]

@Guardian45 nah luv, you ain't doin sumn right 🤣 I’m talkin bout reddi whip from the can

[Guardian45]

Is that the one that's full of chemicals?

[DizzyDesii]

@Guardian45 hell if i know. I just know its not oil based

[Guardian45]

I'll check, but I think that's the one.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Lol. That gif was inappropriate.

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs how? Its from the ABC tv show The Bachelor and they are the one to put the black box there. If the whole world can see it on national tv why can't GaG

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Noooo; the FIRST one! 😆

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs i mean who didn't use to spray the reddi whip or easy cheese straight into their mouth 🤣🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

I know something I could spray into someone's mouth. But it's more of a "natural ingredient."

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs im sure thats what the gif entails as well lol

[nawtee_me]

Wait, you want 12 kids? I have always wanted a football team... lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Lol. Hence why I said it was inappropriate. 🤣

[DizzyDesii]

@nawtee_me Had i started birthing at 18, that was the goal

[WonderBell99]

Do you have a brother?
I think you are ugly

When are we getting married?
I have diarrhea

[Sour-rose]

• "I'm gassy a-f so excuse me in advance."
• "Can you poop painlessly?"
• "How many bodies you buried?"
• "Joking? I have 42."
• "So i sleep with this goat."
• "Do you have handcuffs?"
• "For me? Not it's for you, hun."
• "I said. Drink. It."
• "Up for a "meat" removal?"
• Want a jar of "Meat?"
• "$60 a jar is cheap!"

[Chazmatazz269]

Who wouldn’t want a jar of meat?

[electromagnetic]

I just shat myself again.

my boyfriend is calling me
takeout order for my son

this date is boring AF

Nothing like your tinder picture

your breathe smells like ass

[coachTanthony]

Ha Ha Ha ha

[Chazmatazz269]

I was still in until you said “again”. Hahaha! Especially with a properly applied pause…. that would be spectacular!

[loveslongnails]

"I don't have a penis/vagina"
" I'm wearing a diaper"
" You always smell like that?"
" It wasn't rape... she lied"
"I've only stalked two ex's"

Coach, there are endless ways. LOL Good post. We need some humor.

[loveslongnails]

Wait... somebody disagreed that any of those would NOT ruin a first date? Whaaaaaaat? LOL

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

“Asexuality isn’t real, that’s stupid.”
“Transgender people are just confused.”
“Andrew Tate is the OG.”
“Wanna just fuck me tonight?”

[coachTanthony]

You saying these would ruin a date for you?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yup, sure would

[coachTanthony]

Okay gotcha. I thought so just making sure.

[Guardian45]

Wanna see my poison darts?

Here's my dead cat collection.

Don't ask about my knives.

Wanna stay in my dungeon?

Sometimes I speak in tongues.

Mother was an axe murderer.

Wanna see my Ex's grave?

[coachTanthony]

dead cat collection is money lol

[Rosexøxø]

Speak in tongues 😭🤣

[Lliam]

I'm saving myself for marriage.

Do you want some Ecstasy?

I'm dying for a cigarette.

Vodka. Make it a double.

I've got a mysterious rash.

Is herpes a game changer?

I charge $200 per hour.

[GoodManDave]

"Your mom is SO HOT."

"I don't do women's work."

"It's fine, we're SECOND Cousins."

'sfine. It's not super contagious.

[TrueConfection]

• Show me your tax returns.
• This is my dream wedding.(Sends a string of photos)
• My psychiatrist will not approve.
• Erectile dysfunction is perfectly normal.
• My houly rate is 500.

[Exterminatore]

I was abducted by aliens.


The date will end early if you tell anyone that.

[coachTanthony]

Check please lol

[Exterminatore]

If you wanna end the date super quick, grab a napkin, hand it to her and ask:

Does this smell like chloroform?

[coachTanthony]

Great movie 🍿

[Exterminatore]

A classic.

[FreyaRed]

5 words is like an essay, one adjective is enough

[coachTanthony]

I said five words or LESS so whatcha got?

[OlderAndWiser]

How often do you douche?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Ha! You win. Douching is important though, so that's a valid question. Gotta keep up with hygiene!

[OlderAndWiser]

@WanderingLoveWizard Important, but absolutely inappropriate - of course - to ask on a first date!

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lol..

[Exterminatore]

😂😂😂😂😂

[RavVid]

There was a movie I think called how to lose a guy which explored this.

I think if a date asked for the food to served quickly because she has another date straight after then I would thoughtfully cancel the order so she wasn't late for the second date.

[CheeseMonster]

Your name is so ugly.

I never wash my hands!

The demon said you'd come.

[the_bruh]

I'm a nice guy.🥲
You should wear more makeup.😏
Is that a moustache?😓
Based on true events.

[jennifer_bloom]

I have to go now

[coachTanthony]

LOL where ya going?

[jennifer_bloom]

You said end a date in 5 words or ruin it in 5 words

[coachTanthony]

I know but just curious if you had a reason attached to it lol

[jennifer_bloom]

I guess a bad reason would be - another guy asked her out or her girl offered her a ride to the night club

[coachTanthony]

Okay okay

[blissinanarchy1]

Is OnlyFans okay with you?

I’m friends with my ex

Wanna come home with me?

Are you okay with kids?

[jjj101010]

I like plain looking girls

my ex was way hotter

can we do anal after?

can I smell your feet?

I made parole last week

My mother is joining us

that stinks, did you fart?

Shhh, the game is starting

does anyone know you’re here?

[Ygritte_snow]

“your place or my place” (esp after date n.1)

“My ex is crazy”

“women are like cars”

”you look like my mom”

“Should you be eating that”

[AdithyaR]

omae wa mou shindeiru

(Sidenote this will not work if the date is an anime weeb, you might instead turn them on)

[Ms_Facesitter]

I am actually a lesbian.
Just here for free food.
My ex did it better.

[SnowedIn]

So, are we gonna fuck?

[coachTanthony]

She might say yes lol

[worldscolide]

When she mentions "Im a feminist" that will kill it instantly for me.

[worldscolide]

man i must have triggered a bunch of fragile femininity feminists to get that many downvotes. Only proves me right lol

[Babygirl_S]

"Love a typical Indian wedding"

"Love Indian culture" etc. can easily ruin it if you're not dating an Indian man.

[Emiliamazing]

Wanna meet my parents tonight?

[coachTanthony]

Yeah that's always a good one.

[Emiliamazing]

I'm starting to think that someone is following me around downloading. Meeting parents isn't a bad thing, but that is certainly not something I would say on the first date.

[Emiliamazing]

*down voting

[prensesmishka]

I might be down for it!

[Anonymous]

"Hide my wife is here!" or

"I think I love you!"

[Chazmatazz269]

Hahaha!!! This is going to be awesome!
“Don’t you just LUV bestiality?”
Actually, my experience suggests NOTHING ruins a date as easily as, “Let’s go dutch.” Ell oh ell!

[es20490446e]

Just say what one of my dates said to me:

Men/Women are all the same

[OfMiceandMen]

Can my mom join us?

[coachTanthony]

That would do it.

[OfMiceandMen]

Nothing wrong with a little comparison/contrasting to see how well the new girl matches-up!👌

[coachTanthony]

lollol

[DizzyDesii]

I’d actually find this really sweet as long as it didn't happen on future dates

[OfMiceandMen]

@DizzyDesii My mom is hilarious, just an itsy bitsy little thing, but her character is what makes her big in my eyes. She would likely be my biggest asset on a first date. Make me tighten up on my manners. LOL

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i love if a guy loves his mom. I just dont want him to be a mommas boy because i dont care to be around either of our family like that daily/weekly. But monthly visits sound great

[OfMiceandMen]

@DizzyDesii For sure, everything in moderation.

[prensesmishka]

Is this for real!

[OfMiceandMen]

@prensesmishka Ahhh,,, just kidding, I wouldn't take my mom on a date.

[MrCommodore]

Easy "What I love about Trump.." or "Are you good at cleaning?".

[Minahh]

I have a scalpel here (as a bio student I actually used it 😂 only pussies get scared)

[Uzi777]

You gonna pay the bill? 🙃

[coachTanthony]

Let's split the check might ruin it for most women lol

[Uzi777]

Lol I I always pay on first dates lol

[Uzi777]

But yeah that's definitely true for most women lol

[Wish4UrB00ty]

What’s your thoughts aviary guns? 😊🥰😊

[coachTanthony]

aviary guns?

[Wish4UrB00ty]

Wow! What did I do? Sorry! That was supposed to say *about…

[coachTanthony]

Oh lol

[Wish4UrB00ty]

That would ruin a date now days at least… lol! But hopefully not I guess!

[coachTanthony]

That is like asking what are your thoughts on serial killers lol

[Wish4UrB00ty]

Kind of yeah.😂😂

[ShiftingMonke]

I would actually LOVE that!

[Wish4UrB00ty]

@ShiftingMonke I mean like I said hopefully it wouldn’t ruin anything… but in a lot of situations it could.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep that would ruin the date for me

[ShiftingMonke]

I get that.. but I'm a huge gun advocate, and I love talking to anti-gun folks just to find out where their anger or fear comes from; so many come from a place of ignorance, so I am happy to share with them the things they don't know about. I can't convince everyone, but I've won quite a few over.

[DizzyDesii]

@ShiftingMonke mine is definitely more towards fear and although with good reason, i was uncomfortable around them kong before certain experiences. Most of my family is gun lovers but i still keep my distance from them if their weapons are on display

[raven6933]

Yes. I am a serial murderer. If that doesn't work then you may want to just get up and run away 😂.

[douride2]

So you work where?

[coachTanthony]

LOLLOL

[douride2]

You like that one eh?

[exitseven]

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?

I just made my parole.

[BarryLiverstone]

Your bloody tampon smells awful

[coachTanthony]

Dude lol

[BarryLiverstone]

You said ruin, not just end the date

[coachTanthony]

Well that will do it for sure lol

[Agape93]

Your bloody tampon tastes great

[coachTanthony]

@Agape93 Wow this just gets worse lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Ha ha if she says it tastes great there’s gunna be another date cuz she’s got a sense of humor

[Agape93]

Lol damn, gotta make it worse next time

[BarryLiverstone]

My humor runs dark as a bloody tamp

[coachTanthony]

@BarryLiverstone LOL

[Brandi555]

Omfg.

[AustColombiangirl]

your dad is better

[coachTanthony]

Ouch lol

[McKellar]

Guy: Let's get a drink

Girl: (slaps the guy) CREEP!!

Guy: At Starbucks!! What did you think I meant?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Just greet her with the wrong name.

[Anonymous]

My mama gave me herpes

Easy way to ruin it

[coachTanthony]

I mean that would do it for me.

[Anonymous]

Should I book the hotel?

Who's paying?

My ex...

[Pterodon]

Your pussy stinks

[coachTanthony]

She might say And? lol

[Pterodon]

I’d say no thanks that would be acid on my dick

[SaoirseS]

Wood or metal burial casket?

[jshm2]

Hi sister/brother/auntie/uncle

[Drumlin2001]

You wonna go kill squirrels?

[fonduegirl]

"I'm ace 😀"

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

By texting an old ex

[FunkyMonkee]

Sure! "I've got crabs!"

[Massageman]

OOOOps. Sorry about the puke.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Tastes like your mom

[DizzyDesii]

Omg i’d pounce over the table 😂

[Anonymous]

“Feminist”

“Pronouns”

”what’s your income”

[Anonymous]

I’m allergic to most food

My ex looked like you

I don’t like animals tho

[prensesmishka]

You got me at “my ex looked like you” it’s horrible!

[Pete671]

I have a small penis

[Jamie05rhs]

Absolutely! I guarantee it!