Alright, so tomorrow I hope to gather some minuscule amount of courage together and ask a girl out. Its been nearly a year since the last relationship (which lasted a long time), and feel like taking a leap of faith. I am not sure if she likes me back or not as we are both relatively shy and quiet people - so I can't say for sure whether she does or not. But my biggest question is: is there a huge difference between using the phrase "Would you like to 'go out' sometime?" and "Would you like to 'hang out' sometime?"
I had planned on just being direct and asking her to "go out" (considering I have a hard enough time asking anyone out)...but I was told not to do that as it would seem creepy and too forward (quote: "It would make you look like you were asking her on a boyfriend'/girlfriend date")
Is one more direct than the other?
Does one mean "dating" more than the other?
Given the fact I am unsure if she likes me or not, which one is more casual and inviting to a relationship?
Any other thoughts? I have never understood this secret language used in initiating relationships...and if it ends up the best way of resolving things is for me to literally walk up to her and say "Hey, I like you" then so be it...I just don't know what is expected honestly.
Most Helpful Girl
In my opinion there is a BIG difference in the two. Asking her to hang out (in a group) says you think of her as a friend, though you can hang out in a group once AFTER you've gone out alone to get to know her better. Asking her to hang out (just you two) can say two things; 1: "I like you but I don't want to say anything right now" and this is said only by flirting when you hang out, if not then there is the other thing, 2: "You're really cool and I'd like to be friends" this is said by NOT flirting or showing interest in her. If you ask her to hang out, you need to show her you like her, even if it's subtle. Most girls will pick that up.
Now, asking her to "go out" is direct and is pretty much asking her this, "Hi, I like you, would you like to go out with me on (insert date) to (insert activity)?" It says you think of her as more than a friend. Depending on the girl, she may or may not like the direct question. If you chose direct; 1: you get a direct answer, 2: no wasted time thinking "does she like me? Are we friends? Does she like that other guy? Should I text her? etc.", and 3: if you say it in the right way she may not be turned off by you and be your friend that way she can get to know you and who knows, she might really like you after all :D but don't ask her out like the example, that's just creepy. First get into a casual conversation, then bring up activities, find a common interest (lets say bowling) then say to her, "Hey I like bowling too, do you think you would want to go out this Friday to bowl with me?" She's not feeling awkward, or any pressure because you said "do you think".
So if you're really shy, maybe try saying hang out but remember to FLIRT. If you feel like ripping the Band Aide off then be direct. Just remember to stay calm and collected. If you feel comfortable and relaxed around her she will feel that way too, and that always helps your chances of getting her.
I hope this helped you, let me know how it works out.0
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