Is my dream guy realistic?

[JustMeL120]

The ideal guy i want to date is smart calculated. Knowledgable, cultivated , open minded, doesn't base his choices on the advice of others. sosiopathic is ok but not abusive. Confident but not deluded about his own achievments and physical traits. looks after himself but isn't shallow. Not overly interested in sex.

Do you think someone like that exists?

[razelove]

A guy like that is out there, but is likely married at your age, and if not doesn't have plans on settling down. Your description fits all the guys in a research team I was in. Out of us, I was the only one who wanted to have a family and settle down. They're still playing the field with girls from campus since the last time we talked.

I don't know what paradigm you're looking for, but just tossing that out there.

[JustMeL120]

My age nothing to do with anything i am 29 plenty of unmarried men are that age. Actualy men who marry too young are probably the type that wouldn't interest me anyway.

[razelove]

OK, I mean, that doesn't line up with what you said with being overly interested in sex though. I don't know about guys looking for women, but women looking for guys fall into one of three categories, casual (looking for sex), looking for commitment, or the very rare completely malleable.

[JustMeL120]

I want a man who is interested in sharing his life with me in more ways than just sex. A man who i can help and can help me and our family if there is serious problems like financial or a war or illness bullying a guy who is smart makes good choices and who is fairly similar to me. Men who only think about sex are anoying.

[Anonymous]

Igotstandardsbro. com

Will tell you.

[Quackthulu2]

Plenty of guys that fit that description out there.

[JustMeL120]

Havnt met any lol

[Quackthulu2]

Try college campuses. STEM majors.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

I agree. Most guys that studied STEM have kind of similar traits.

[JustMeL120]

@SeriouslyFunny00 lol i will have to save up first 20000 for a master in science they better be worth it.

[Quackthulu2]

You don’t need a masters, and you don’t need to save up all the money up front for an education. You don’t need either to date a college guy.

[JustMeL120]

Lol yea its a bit creepy to go to uni just to find a guy. I think by ideal partner is a sosiopathic banker with the ability of empathy.

[Quackthulu2]

Well sure, if you go on campus looking for guys that’s kinda creepy. But college towns exist.

[Hulk_kitty]

Dreams such as these are generally good signs. Although it does not usually mean that you are going to find your perfect partner, it could be a sign that you are content in your current life situation, and that you’re overflowing with happiness so much in your awake state, that it has even altered the state of your dreams.

[JustMeL120]

I am not sure if that some kind of a joke. But yea its funny haha.
I rather dream about this ideal partner than setle for lower.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You can't be cultivated without basing your choices on the advice of others.

Open mindedness is usually a synonym for being ignorant.

Sociopaths are always abusive.

The road to success is believing you can do something before you succeed at it, to fail until you succeed.

Good looks are often subjective.

Even the smartest men still get really horny.

[JustMeL120]

Everyone is ignorant some more than others but only open minded people are able to accept that they don't know everything. As for hornyness it's ok to be horny but they don't have to let everyone know about itml. I can get hungrybfor food doesn't mean I am gonna ask everyone on the street to feed me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

In most cases "open minded" is just slang for "don't judge stupid choices". So I meant it in that context.

As for being horny, I think the phrase you are looking for is "must be monogamous". You can be monogamous and commited and still bang your SO 5 times a day.

[JustMeL120]

By overly interested in sex i mean basicaly a sex addict. Someone who insist on watching porn with you or insists on having sex when you clearly don't feel like it and then has a fit when he can't get his way. Or someone who would dump you if you don't satisfy his obsession for sex and all sorts of messed up fetishes. Someone who cheats and brings STDs. Someone who masturbates and tell you about it or let you hear it on purpose to make you feel bad.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Those are a lot of different circumstances.

Most couples look at porn together.

It's generally agreed by most couples that if one wants sex, the other should provide it, regardless of which one is requesting/initiating it at any point. Even if currentoy not horny, if seeing your partner naked doesn't immediately put you in the mood, it's the wrong person for you.

Witholding sexual attention is definitely going to cause a rift in the relationship, maybe not throwing a fit, but it can definitely lead to a breakup because healthy relationships do not involve witholding affection.

Talking about masturbating, or doing it in front of a partner, should only result in their partner being aroused, not feeling offended or guilty.

Fetishes are common as well.

The only actual problems you mentioned are cheating and stds.

[TheSpaceGnome]

currently*

[JustMeL120]

It's not witholding affection it's women are not alway in the mood for this. And life isn't all about sex. As well as it's two or three time a day it's not affection i don't know what you would call that. Also men are not good at sex. That's why most women withdraw affection. I am just being honest. And porn isn't sexy it's disgusting watching some other people naked do things it's stupid and perverted.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It honestly sounds like you are just bad at picking a partner you actually like, either that or you are asexual.

I could not be horny at all, and all the right woman would have to do is flash her boobs or crotch, and my mood would instantly 180. The right woman views my dick in the same way. There is mo such thing as "not interested" with the right person.

I don't think porn is gross, stupid, or perverted, but then I don't watch porn that contains gross looking people. Every woman I've dated also liked porn, and even sent me porn they think I'd like.

[TheSpaceGnome]

no such thing*

[JustMeL120]

I have dated many men but they dont make me horny. Only one or two people made me horny they were both sosiopaths and I didn't end up dating them as one wanted to kill me tge other wanted to rape me. The rest of men I dated I didn't have sex with I just didn't feel attracted to them at all. As for porn the women watch it because they like to see the men turned on they pretend to like it but they hate it. And the most attractive part is actually the woman in the video because they are beautiful the man in those video is always gross looking. And no I am not a lesbian before you mention it. And although I feel like the women in the video are beautiful I can't help but feel sorry for them because they probably doing this job to make a bit of extra money to pay for there study. Or feed their kids or buy drugs. For some it's either that or prostituion. They obviously prefer that because it's less risky than prostituion.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah you definitely sound bad at picking partners, you shouldn't be dating sociopaths or people you aren't very physically attracted to.

Also lots of women genuinely like porn, the ones I dated got wet looking at dicks, some of them also liked boobs as well.

Oh and not all porn is porn stars, and not all porn is destitute people in need of cash. Some people just show off to show off.

[JustMeL120]

I definitely hate porn and I hope whoever I end up marrying hates is as well. Sex should be between me and my husband not some complete strangers on the internet. I can't find the type of men I am into. I think I am a sapiosexual and unfortunately the only couple of smart men I have met happened to be sosiopaths.

[Shamalien]

Sure I fit those traits, but if you want a man with fashion sense (and many women do) I’m not your guy. My body is well maintained but I wear jeans and t shirts

[JustMeL120]

Fashion is for con men to make money out of materialistic people. True fasion is art. I love true fashion like paris cat walk and vintage but i am not shallow enough to judge a guy for what he is wearing.

[In_Trance]

That depends entirely on what you bring to the table in return

[JustMeL120]

Not realy if the guy is the type to setle then bargain he's not my type.

[In_Trance]

good luck with that

[JustMeL120]

No need for passive agresivness if you dont like my post your welcome to comment on others.

[In_Trance]

Not surpisingly, your perception is off. Again.

[HighValue]

People that bring nothing of value to a relationship are the ones that get offended when asked what they bring to the table/relationship.

[warsevf]

Its reasonable

[Anonymous]

But the question is this kind of guy deserve you?

[JustMeL120]

Not sure if that is a positive or negative comment but if its an insult please get a moderator to delete it. Thank you

[shortster]

I think so