Invited on a 1st date, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

I've been chatting with a guy on Tinder, and he indirectly invited me to go bouldering. He mentioned he can't do it this weekend since he's visiting family, but suggested next week sometime. Coincidentally, my birthday falls on one of those days. I have plans for a meal with my family on the weekend, but I don't usually celebrate on the actual day. Would it be weird to have a first date on your birthday? Should I tell him beforehand that it's my birthday, but I don't have anything planned and am available, or should I just treat it like any other day? Alternatively, I could say I'm busy that day.

What do you recommend?

[PrettyPriya]

I would just be upfront with him that it is your birthday and you had some plans. Just tell him that you didn't want him to feel pressured to do something birthday related. If he says don't worry about it, then good.

Honestly, it would feel a little weird to me personally to go on a first date on my birthday. Even if you don't celebrate on that day, you still know that it is. I would also worry that the guy would feel pressured to make it special not wanting to "ruin" my birthday.

If it were me, I would just tell him the deal and see if he could go another date. Even if he was okay with it, I would still feel a bit awkward I think. He should understand if you tell him.

I do not suggest not telling him. What happens if you hit it off with him and get in a serious relationship? He will eventually find out that you hid that from him.

[SomeRandomGuy89]

"what happens if you hit it off with him and get in a serious relationship?" Then he will have an easier time remembering both her birthday and the date of their first date.

It's more "omg" funny rather then "omg" betrayal.

[PrettyPriya]

@SomeRandomGuy89 Says who? Is that going to be 100% certainty with every person? What if you are wrong?

[SomeRandomGuy89]

Why waste energy thinking up outliers? By that accord, it's just as well she tell him, weird him out, and never hear from him again. Unlikely, but can you be 100% certain?

The only certainty in life is that you're going to die.

And if I'm wrong then she can thank me for helping her dodge a bullet. Anyone who can't take it in good spirit, that the first date you went on with a woman you're into was on her birthday...

[PrettyPriya]

Right, start a relationship by hiding things. Always a great idea.

[Agape93]

Oh yeah, every great relationship I have is based on keeping shit from people. Because that's what a great partner does.

[MaazHussain]

If you feel comfortable with the idea of having a first date on your birthday, then there's no harm in mentioning it to him. You could say something like, "Just so you know, the day we were planning to go bouldering is actually my birthday, but I don't have any plans yet, so I'm available if you still want to go." This gives him the option to either acknowledge your birthday or not, depending on his level of interest.

On the other hand, if you feel like you would prefer to keep your birthday separate from a first date, then it's perfectly fine to say that you're busy that day. You don't owe him an explanation, but if you feel comfortable, you could say something like, "Thanks for the invite, but unfortunately I have plans that day. Can we plan for another day?"

Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what you feel most comfortable with. Just remember to prioritize your own feelings and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Whether or not you want to have a first date on your birthday is ultimately up to you and your personal preferences. If you feel comfortable with the idea, then it could be a fun and unique way to celebrate.

If you do decide to go on the date, you could mention to him beforehand that it's your birthday, but that you don't have any specific plans for the day. This can help avoid any awkwardness or misunderstandings during the date.

Alternatively, if you're not comfortable with the idea of a first date on your birthday, you could let him know that you're busy that day and suggest another day that works better for you. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to do what feels comfortable and right for you.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you, and it's important to communicate openly and honestly with him about your feelings and expectations for the date.

[Coldpoedel]

I'd personally tell him, but not make it a huge deal. Just subtly mention it. Goodluck with the date!

[Guy13]

Tell him it is your birthday in a non emotional kind of ting. See how smart he is or how bad he wants to get inside your pants. What a great opportunity to Test his abilities as it relates to others. Me. Myself, and I verse empathy and good sense with this opportunity. Boulder climbing: Cake and water..."just a little more to carry up the rocks" before hand OR . nothing but boulder on the brain.

[SomeRandomGuy89]

Keep it a secret and go on the date. It'll make for an interesting conversation should there be more dates and eventually he learns about it.

[In_Trance]

I think you should do it