I'm Getting Married But Fiancé Invited Her Ex-boyfriend To Wedding?

[Anonymous]

She dated her ex-boyfriend for 4 years, he was her first boyfriend ever, and thing didn't work out and they broke up after their last months of fighting all the time and things not working out in general. When they broke up they never spoke again. Then she met me and we started dating for 4 years and I proposed to her and she said yes and we are getting married in 3 months.

A few weeks ago her Ex-Bf found her on Facebook and Messaged her to congratulate her since he heard about our wedding from people. After talking for a while she then invited him to our wedding. (he didn't invite himself, she invited him) and he said he's going to come. I honestly don't like the fact that her ex-boyfriend is coming to our wedding. I mean I have ex-girlfriends I could have invited but I didn't because I don't really talk to them or care to and that thought would have never occurred to me because the idea of bringing an ex-girlfriend to a wedding strikes me as weird and problematic. And I just find it weird that she didn't think enough to realize that many people in my shoes would have a problem with that and she didn't think to ask me about it 1st. Like even if she doesn't care personally for herself how did she not realize many people would have a problem with that? I don't want to be controlling so I didn't say anything. I don't want to tell her what to do or what not to do but at the same time I can't help feel the way I feel. My friend suggested that I should invite my ex-girlfriend of 5 years so that way her and I are on equal playing fields but at the same time I feel I would only be doing that as some form of revenge.

Some of my friends even went as far as suggesting this is a RED FLAG on how her and I are very different and not compatible and only the beginning of our many disagreements that will eventually break us up in the future and I should find someone else who is compatible enough to think more similar like me.

I don't know what to do, what do you think?

[Anonymous]

That red flag is so big, I don't even know where to begin. For one, simple, very basic respect and consideration. In a way, this could be seen as a positive because you have a warning before it's too late. Whether you heed this warning is up to you.

You say that you don't know what to do... translation = I do know what to do, but I'm not sure how everyone else will take it.

When in doubt, just ask yourself what you would do without peer pressure, pressure of others, expectations, money worries etc.

[Cammy137]

"Kids, never invite an ex to your wedding" - Ted Mosby, architect

[linds34]

I think it's inappropriate. It would be one thing if they remained friends all this time, but it's super weird to reconnect with an ex on Facebook and invite them to your wedding.

[jacquesvol]

I attended the wedding of one of my exes. No problem.

[Anonymous]

its fine! dont marry if you can't keep faith on her!

[whattothink]

My question is why does she need her past there?

[Asker]

Her answer was because she was being nice and that she still saw herself considering him a friend

[whattothink]

Yeah that's weird and wrong and about 800 other things. Something fishy is there.