So, there’s 2 guys:
guy 1: cares about me a lot, makes me happy, can cook, clean, look after himself, he’s kind and caring and ticks all the boxes but he likes to deal with his problems on his own and never really asks for help and barely ever lets anyone in. If he’s going through something he just shuts everyone out. He’s scared of commitment cause he doesn’t wanna get hurt again but is also scared of losing people he cares about tho so he's always playing this on and off hot and cold kinda game with me.
guy 2: ticks all the same boxes as guy 1, he’s kinda he’s caring bla bla bla you get it but he's more open and willing to ask for help and while guy 1 isn’t really looking for something serious right now he is. He’s more emotionally available essentially.
So guy 1 has my heart even tho he’s driving me crazy with this hot and cold bullshit but guy 2 has much the same personality traits as guy 1 and ticks all the same boxes but is emotionally available so seems like the better option and guy 2 is intrested in me and I’m starting to like him.
the thought of being with anyone other than guy 1 is breaking my heart tho I feel like trash. I don't know what to do please help.
What Girls Said
Neither! If you have to ask it’s always neither! Guy 1 is playing games and will only break your heart, there’s no future with him. Even if he came to you today and said he’s ready to commit and make you his girlfriend there would be no (happy) lasting future with him as you can’t build a happy stable longterm relationship with someone who shuts down when things get difficult. Big no no. Move on and never lock back.
Guy 2, you don’t even want him! You’re gonna be with him while being in love with someone else and even though thought of being with him or someone other than guy 1 breaks your heart? For real? You’re gonna do guy 2 dirty like that and break HIS heart to in addition to wasting his time, when he’s just being a good guy looking for something real? It would be extremely mean and selfish of you.
For real you and so many others need to learn how to be alone and single. You need to realize you don’t need to be in a relationship all the time or even date someone all the time! If your options are a guy who’s playing games and has mental- and commitment issues and a guy you don’t want and feel heartbroken from the thought of being with then option C - NEITHER is always the answer. Move on and focus on yourself until you find a mentally stable guy who treats your right, you’re compatible with, who is ready to commit to you AND you actually love and want to be with.
"1 isn’t really looking for something serious right now he is. He’s more emotionally available essentially." If he's saying he's not looking for anything serious, he is not available!
If you have only two guys, I would pick the first one BUT I would not invest in him fully. I would go and live my own life and wouldn't shut down other guys.