She just recently got out of a five year relationship. From what she explained to me about why they broke up, it just seemed like she just wanted to see what it was like to date and see other guys outside of him because for the past five years, he was all she knew sexually and romantically. So it was understandable if she wanted something new and different but more recently she’s been saying things about wanting to begin her “hoe” phase and that kind of worried me because dating around and sleeping around are two very different things. One is innocent while the other isn’t. One can possibly come with bad consequences that you can’t get rid of and the other is just casually getting to know others. I don’t judge anyone who chooses to be sexually free, but that has to be who and what you really are and what you really want. I know my sister very well. She isn’t that kind of girl but it seems as if she’s gonna force herself to be that girl and because that isn’t who she truly is, I have a feeling it won’t end well. I can assume that her definition of “hoe” is talking to and dating multiple guys at once but there’s only one true definition of that word and everyone knows what it is. So when we she said that, it worried me. I’m want to talk to her about it without her feeling like I’m judging her, which I am not. I just want her to be safe
How can I tell my sister what she’s deciding to do is a bad idea without her feeling like I’m insulting or judging her?
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This is just my approach, and it isn't for everyone, but if you feel that a direct conversation may not go well, maybe you shouldn't be direct about this. Now none of what I am about to suggest is to say be dishonest, lie, or do something that isn't genuine. But when someone has their mind set on something, they're like a bunker. If you go ahead on, they're just gonna knock you back. Sometimes you have to use a back door to get what you want. A little bit of positive manipulation.
Now, you know your sister, you know things she's responded well to, and poorly to. You can think of times she has changed her mind, and when she's dug in. You know her wants, needs, and traits much better than anyone here. And you can use those to help her come to the conclusion you want.
None of this will apply to her, because I don't know her, but I'm in a similar situation in a way. My grandma's house burnt down, including many many family heirlooms. She was ready to give up, and got emotional and shut down. Talking to her about what she needs to do just made her more upset, so you know what I did?
I told her the truth. She is the most caring snd loving to those that came before of anyone I know. She holds the legacy of all the people that owned those things. She should grieve them, and nothing will make them being gone not horrible, but this is also a chance at her to have a better situation. When she gets better, and prospers, the memory she is trying to uphold will prosper. Because she is those people's legacy. She cried, told me she loved me, and the next day we came up with several good ideas because she was ready to.
Think about why your sister might be thinking or feeling this way. Maybe she wants to feel attractive. Maybe she wants new experiences. Maybe there's something from childhood. Maybe she's insecure about that one math class she failed two terms ago and just wants out of a downward spiral, it could be anything! But think about what might be going on around your sister's life that might be playing into that, and approach it from there.
"I always was so jealous how much of mom's beauty you got" "hey I was thinking about going to this concert of this random band coming into town wanna come with?" "Hey I just wanted to say I'm proud of you for how far you've come" those things, where people feel like your on their side, and you push that button thats at the center of it all... You'd be surprised how people just, know.
Don't fight your sister. Know her, work with who she is, and set her up to work with you.
Sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes.
Any attempt to talk her out of it will likely encourage this behavior.