We had to cancel our first date, he hasn’t rescheduled. Should I ask when he’s free or wait?

[Anonymous]

We met online and have been texting on WhatsApp for 5weeks now. We were both interested and getting on well.

We had a first date planned as outdoor mini golf but we had to cancel due to weather. He asked to reschedule by telling me when he was free and asked when I was free, but never rescheduled.

It’s been 2 weeks since the planned date but 1 week he was on a family holiday so he hasn’t been free. We still text everyday but maybe a bit less than usual.

Updates

1 y

when I told him when I was free he said he would let me know about rescheduling but didn’t and hasn’t brought it up again even though we are still taking.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked him what his intentions are for even talking to you? Like do you know what he wants? Because that could say a lot about his desire and willingness to make you a priority. I’ve never even entertained talking to a man for that long and we haven’t had one date or met in person. I’m usually sort that out in week one or two so we don’t waste each other’s time if we aren’t on the same page.

[Asker]

We chatted about what we wanted the night before the date. He said he’s not 100% sure he’s ready for relationship because of a previous one. Wants to be sure a new one would work. I’ve got let down recently by a guy so I’m not wanting to jump into anything either. We talked about taking it slow, but now that I say this out loud it could be a bit too slow!

[Opinion Owner]

Gotcha. Well because you know how it feels to be let down, what you don’t want is to put yourself in a position to let it happen again. As we get older, we’re supposed to learn from mistakes, become wiser and make better choices. I’m not necessarily saying this man isn’t a good choice, I obviously don’t know him. But to me, when a guy is on the fence rather than knowing with 100% certainty he wants a relationship one day, I foresee you wasting your time. Of course your intention with him or any man should not be to dive into a relationship for the sake of having a title or out of loneliness— rushing is never smart. But you want to at least know you are both consciously working towards something. You’re a smart woman and I’m sure the last thing you want is to invest where the effort is not being reciprocated.
I believe a man who sees potential and wants to move forward with a particular woman would do things like rescheduling a date, try to see her even if it’s just for a bit, things like that. He doesn’t seem to have the availability or interest in doing so. You’ve already given him 5 weeks you can’t get back, don’t waste another 5 if he intends to drag his feet.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Invite him on a date. If he declines with out reschedule, move on.

[Avicenna]

Be proactive and suggest specific dates before he loses interest

[Danny_dan92]

When people do this, they aren’t interested

[Iron_Man]

Ask him

[In_Trance]

Ask when he's free