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My boyfriend and I only get to see each other a couple days a week. He suggested we not see each other as much because he’s afraid we will get tired of each other. Should I give him the silent treatment because he said that?
Silent treatment is never a good solution. All it will do is harm the relationship.
The next time you have a chance to talk, you could have a talk about this.
Talk it out, communicate, negotiate, and agree on a solution together that will help your relationship.
When a couple spends a lot of time together, it can potentially cause them to take each other for granted. But, as long as they are aware of this tendency, and are careful NOT to take each other for granted, and stay in an appreciative mindset, it’s totally fine.
And yeah, there’s things you may hear online about trying to stay mysterious or interesting or giving time for your partner to miss you, etc.
But, if you have a meaningful relationship, those little tips and tricks shouldn’t make or break your relationship.
What keeps 2 people together is their bond. That’s something you should protect and nurture and strengthen. With a strong enough bond, you two can get through anything together.
That’s my two cents. 🥂
@dynamicyandere
Sometimes the silence treatment is worthy if all he's going to just lie about everything.
No, that's playing games. I think what he is requesting is absolutely fine. Why do you need to see each other every day.
What you need you do, is find a life of your own, get out with your friends, work on investing in yourself, I think its bad idea, to depend on your boyfriend for every thing. What happens if he decides to dump you, your world going to fall apart.
Remember your boyfriend is not your world, you need to find other ways of making your life happy without him, so if it came down to him dumping you, you will be fine.
Remember, that people, boyfriends, friends, will always come and go in your life, so its bad idea, to rely on them for your happiness. You must start investing in your life, so if they leave, you won't be break, and you do fine without them.
I think you need to read what I said. We only see each other a couple days a week. I spoke to him about it. However, I feel I need to back off. That makes me much more hosting and quiet.
Hesitant that is.
Hey great stuff, lack of communication was the problem. Glad it worked out for you.
The silent treatment is a form of manipulation, and very immature. It’s more likely to chase him away than do anything else.
Why not just sit down and talk about a compromise that you can both make to ensure that the both of you get the best you can out of this relationship.
Talk about what you both want from each other moving forward.
It’s not so bad to spend time apart, it maintains your own life and you’re not so dependent on each other. In a way, it keeps the excitement. You’re as mysterious and interesting to each other as when you first met.
If he can be this honest with you, you can do the same for him, right? If what he said worries you, tell him why, and there will be a solution.
I mean, I've never been in a relationship, so do what you will with my opinion, but I think the silent treatment is an extremely petty and unproductive way to deal with any situation. Just tell him how you feel about what he said and why it upsets you. If he can't understand you, then you'll probably have bigger issues down the road.
Info: how does what he said make you feel?
Opinion
37Opinion
🤣 that’s too immature. I hate silent treatments. Keep doing this, it will be permanent.
He's not wrong about getting tired of each other. It sounds like he's trying to protect the relationship. I tell you what always works for me. When I'm dating a girl, we see each other every other day, but text each other in between then. This is usually my idea though, because I don't want to see the relationship go downhill, plus it's not healthy being together every waking minute and talking to each other when you're not seeing each other.
People need space. I'd set up some type of arrangement like that. It will do wonders for your relationship, trust me!
"The silent treatment speaks volume about your character."
It is also known as psychologically abusive to the person you're ignoring because they may or may not not know what they did wrong. This is why good communication is important. Speak up about what bothers you and fix it together as a couple. That is one of the reasons why relationships last: great communication.
I remember my ex used to give me the silent treatment whenever I would do something he didn't like, it went horrible because he had poor communication skills (and bc he was toxic) because I had to guess what I did wrong every single time. It just never goes well.
Bro, what the fuck…..*facepalm*
okay kids , gather round.
Cuz I’m gonna introduce this wild concept to you:
Boys like your beauty, but we like your flaws too.
Maybe tell him how not seeing him as much would hurt you and make you feel like he didn’t like you anymore…?
Instead of doing this bullshit that toxic “feminist” dating coaches give you on TikTok and YouTube…?
When we know you have flaws , we realize : “oh shit, she’s not just a goddess she’s also a person. And somehow that also makes me like her more.”
Just like when y’all see MY flaws you realize : “oh shit, he’s not just an African god, he’s also a man….. and yet somehow I like him more….”
Now get off the internet and just fucking talk to him, will ya?
Stop blaming everything on feminism. You likely don’t even know what a feminist is. The silent treatment has been around since well before women’s ability to read, write and drive.
No. Now go talk to him or I’m taking away your right to vote.
Now shoo. Shoo shoo shoo.
The only moment you give your partner a TEMPORARY silent treatment is that moment when you're having a fight and you choose to stop talking for a couple of minutes to allow the heat of the discussion to slow down.
All other situations you keep communication channels open.
If ur boyfriend says he needs a breathing room, he could be losing interest in you. If that's the case, then it's better to let him go and look for someone that WANTS to be with you. There's no use in trying to get his attention because you'll end up always fighting for his attention. That should come from his side. Not from you begging him for attention.
So... now that you're still young, go explore the world. Instead of spending years with this guy and to find out later that you gave up your best years in life to someone who didn't appreciate you enough.
But whatever you do... Don't give the silent treatment. You do that to me, and I'm gone.
He already gave you a red flag with what he said.
Maybe a better idea is to ask him why he feels that way? Tell him you are ready to hear the hard truth.
I had this problem once because I feared that my then girlfriend would notice more and more quirks/negative things about me and get turned off. I’m usually a grouch during the work day. Also I felt like she would get on my nerves more.
Not saying that’s a healthy and/or right attitude. Especially if I hope to get serious again with somebody. But when I’m going about my daily grind I’m in combat mode to the job done. I just have less patience for how women behave sometimes that take a lot of patience. I get nervous about conflicts arising when I am really angry at something else and she is a distraction.
"only get to see each other a couple days a week. He suggested we not see each other as much because he’s afraid we will get tired of each other."
Sounds like your intimacy and space needs are not aligned. Discuss those needs with him and if they can't be resolved, move on.
Personally, I would not consider someone saying they only want to see me a few days a week to be long-term or marriage material. Maybe good for friends with benefits, though.
Sooo, what was the misunderstanding?
problems in a relationship can only be solved by talking about them. by giving someone the silent treatment, you do not also NOT solve whatever problem you had. you're also adding another problem to the list. if you want that relationship to persist, you need to learn propper efficient communication and good negotiation.
No. Silent treatment is childish, manipulative, abusive and accomplish nothing good. You should never give someone silent treatment. You communicate as proper adult or you have no business being in a relationship. If what he said hurt or upset you then you tell him that and explain why. Then you need to discuss what solution will work best for both of you and may have to come to a compromise if your needs or wishes are different.
Oh I spoke to him. Now, I feel the need to back off, which makes me quiet.
If you do that you'll loose him completely. If there is one thing guys can't stand, its getting ghosted and women playing games with them.
I do understand him though. He got a point.
But I see you both resolved the issue already. Good!
What? 2-3 days a week is okay. In the beginning of your relationship, you may not want to overly spend too much time with each other. I agree when he says it could make both of you bored at some point. Be considerate.
Im too much of a talker to give someone the silent treatment. Either we gone talk or ima cut you off. can't have it both ways. Your dude is already asking for space this early on? Shit is odd. I’d leave him
That's exactly the way to make your relationship was/were and he'll be your ex.
The silent treatment is an immature nonsense which never does anything good and proves how immature people are if they think that's even remotely good to do.
No; the silent treatment is an unbelievably harmful and ineffective way of handling a situation like that. You have words, you're an adult; you need to be able to express your needs through your words.
The silent treatment is childish, abusive and passive aggressive behavior. The right thing here is to learn how to communicate and learn how to give space to each other and how to spend quality time together when you see each other.
From my experience of having the silent treatment it just makes me think the person doing it is immature. Should be able to just say what you need to say without making a drama about it
Silent treatment is reaction to the problem but not the answer to solve the problem. A short time silent treatment is enough, just don't prolonged it. Communicating and try to understanding why he reached that conclusion.
If u want to act like a teenager that wants to sabotage her relationship sure
I spoke to him about it. He said we would talk more the next time we see each other. It has made me feel much more visiting though, which makes me very quiet.
Telling me he doesn’t want to see me kind of tells me he doesn’t want a lasting relationship. I’ll have to wait until we see each other again to communicate more. It’s something that should be done face to face.
Oh thanks, by the way.
I think you have phrased this wrong. Sulking and silent treatment for mind games is a form of abuse. Giving him some space is a definite yes
this is absolutely insane. depriving yourself from seeing someone you love because "you'll get tired of each other" doesn't seem like a great relationship in the first place and is bound to end.
Don't opt for the silent treatment. As uncomfortable as it may be, you both need to gather the courage to talk this out.
silent treatment is never good in relationships, talk/communicate because giving the silent treatment will just lead down the path of bad communicating and him not putting in any effort if you don't either
Yes.
But with that said id be careful of whom he is going to see or be with.
Two times a week should be good enough seeing less just doesn't sound good.
I mean we need breaks from each other. But sounds fishy to me.
I'm saying give him the silent treatment because it is funny and I want to ask what is his exit path out of the silent treatment.
WTF? What a weird thing to say. I would send him packing.
Just as an FYI, guys often don't notice when their given the silent treatment. It certainly isn't a punishment for them the way it is for girls.
Silent treatment isn't childish. Sometimes saying nothing is worth more than 1,000 words. Do it.
That's a really weird thing to say. That usual goal of dating is to find someone you can live with.
The silent treatment is something teenage girls do, not women. If I was in a relationship with a woman who used the silent treatment rather than having the maturity to talk openly and try to resolve issues, she would not be my partner for long
Silent treatment is a very immature approach to addressing conflict and has no place in a healthy relationship.
No, you should break up. He obviously doesn't love you.
Yes you deserve more, and for a man to say that he thinks you get tried of each other he is hurting your feelings is showing he doesn’t want you, Maybe think about whenever his worth your time and energy.
Why would you want to give him the silent treatment. You're hurting yourself more than you are trying to hurt/punish him.
Silent treatment for punishment is just asking for more trouble. Either you want to resolve this matter or you want keep it in high conflict.
Go for it. Sounds like you two are pretty much over anyway 🤷♀️
Weird because he’s still texting me wanting to hang out… strange
Great, you talked and resolved the issue. That was very mature of you, and much better than the childishness of silent treatment. I can't stand women who play childish head games like that.
Yeah absolutely, should put him on a sex ban too and whenever he asks what's wrong just say 'uR m0m'
Play stupid games & you will end up winning stupid prizes; I'd walk if I feel like she's playing games or leaves me confused.
Just ask him what is bothering him; and, why he is afraid that either one of you will get bored from being in a relationship
No, just don't be so available anymore, make him miss you.
If a girl uses "the silent treatment" on me I end it completely.
Only idiotic manipulative children who call them selves women use the abusive tactic called the silent treatment. Grow up.
Ya he wants to still see you just wants some time for himself to that's perfectly natural
5 days a week isn't enough time to himself? Lol
Silent treatment never works and is toxic. Communication is essential in a relationship.
If you are having sex with him, he is right.
It's not a punishment. Men like silence.
@Sasha0426 somebody needs a Pamprin. 
@Sasha0426 you just proved my point
Juvenile games don’t work
Well telling me he doesn’t want to see me as much when we don’t see each other much makes me very hesitant and very quiet. Like it makes me want to go silent for a while tbh.
Does punishment work on you?
I guess, if your looking to break up
Clearly he's too good for you.
Ya that'll fix it
Nope lol
Sure
That's lamb
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