TLDR, met a guy at a wedding 2 months ago. We both happened to be staying in town with mutual friends and went on 2 amazing dates, but no sex (my choice). We live in different areas but agreed to keep getting to know each other long distance. At the start, he was texting multiple times per day, call 3 times per week and was constantly making jokes about marrying me and just all around seemed more invested. He says he has told his parents about me and is supposed to come visit me this month. Thing is, over the last 2-3 weeks, the texts have dwindled to only once per day-- every single day to be fair, but seems very little still. He keeps asking call, but doesn't really take initiative to set something up. My friend in the area came across him on the app, so he is still active.
I have now shifted to only responding to what he texts, because I want to gauge his interest and I'm tired of waiting anywhere from 12 - 24 hours for a response.
Technically, we've only seen each other twice, so I get not wanting to commit prematurely; but I can't tell if he's:
(a) Trying to slow-fade/ end it; seems unlikely because he texts every day (and I'm not asking questions/ carrying the conversation)
(b) Just stringing me along for the attention
(c) Genuinely interested in me, but trying to keep his options open
How should I respond? I want to have an open conversation, but am worried about coming across as demanding/ needy/ overly-attached, when we only have met twice in person, or that it may discourage him from coming to visit. I just feel like you're either interested in someone or you're not (and either is fine!) but you can't possibly get to know someone from one text a day, so it seems insincere?
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Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he lost interest cause he was chasing pussy and you pooped on his parade when you made the choice to keep it healthy? I'm sure you'll know if his lack of interest started after making this decision.
Actually yeah, it did... But he keeps claiming he's looking for something serious, has never made a sexual move the first 2 dates and the conversations aren't super sexual. He'll call me "cute" or "lovely" but did not get super sexual. Is he just playing me? Why keep texting once a day?
That's the thing, that once a day shows barely any interest, a guy that has an interest in a woman can't spent an hour without replying if they aren't doing anything, from they way it sounds it sounds like he is carrying you on with lies, unless he's just extremely busy which I doubt cause if you are interested in a woman you make time to reply, if you are delivering pizzas for example, in the elevator I'm pulling a full Italiano one hand hold on them pizzas and phone with the other lol so It doesn't make sense to me why all of a sudden he just replies once a day? I'm assuming it wasn't always like this?
No it wasn't; he used to text multiple times per day and call 2-3 times per week. There were no fights or anything, and he's supposed to visit this month lol; he bought tickets but who knows, maybe he canceled them. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of asking about this ("hey, where is this going?) because if he's not being straightforward now, I doubt he'll give me a straight answer. I think the best course of action would be to just stop responding, and if he brings it up address it then. What do you think? And thanks so much in advance for your time
You tell him straight, if he asks he's basically giving you the opportunity to throw all the flaky shit he's been doing at his face, you tell him that he stopped replying like he used too and that the vibes you read off him is that he is losing interest so you just stopped responding, try not to bring up the sex because they he will try buttering you up trying to convince you that its not the reason even if that's the exact reason, just mention the lose interest part and see how he replies, he's probably gonna blame his phone or job or family, either ways don't waste time on him if he doesn't put the same effort, now I know he didn't catch the flowers at that wedding, I can see why smh
Omg thank you so much :) This is exactly what I needed to hear. I don't know you, and I've never met you, but know that you've brought a lot of peace and comfort to a troubled heart. Thank you a million, MementoMori! Your partner is a lucky one ;)
I dont like seeing troubled or damaged hearts, thats when i grab the glue and tape lol, She will be if she ever runs into me lol but I know what you mean, thanks I appreciate your appreciation and kind words, I hope you find the solutions and best outcomes on your situation 😄🙏
whatever works for you