I'm confused and feeling anxious! Haven't heard from him in 3-days?

[Anonymous]

I previously posted on here about a guy I've been consistently talking to/seeing for about 2.5months now..

We last communicated on Friday and there was nothing in our conversations that things were off or that something was wrong. We had a pretty normal conversation about how our days were going and the last thing he said was that things have been hectic (he's a first responder)..

I didn't really know what to do but from some of the last responses I've gotten from my previous post, I reached out last night with something light & let him know I was thinking of him & missed him!

Still haven't heard from him & I find it odd because even if he goes at least a full 1-2 days there was always a text from him letting me know he's been busy or barely getting a break in between calls and we'd talk for a bit. This is probably the longest we've gone with no communication and I'm feeling REALLY anxious now. Am I getting ghosted?

Last time we hung out was last Monday and we had a great time together so I guess that's why I'm feeling very confused and a little frustrated.

[Anonymous]

I think you’ve over-invested and because of this you’re panicking at even the thought of him ghosting.
My advice? Lower your expectations and always save some of you for yourself. I personally wouldn’t get all entangled with a guy when it’s only been a few weeks (8 weeks and some change isn’t very long) and instead keep him at arms length. Why? Because it’s still very new, you’re still learning about one another and deciding if you see long-term potential.
Even though you see that in him, he may not see that in you and it could have nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with a general disinterest in investing or committing to a woman at the time. So rather than get all anxious and upset, find a distraction and focus on yourself. If he comes back around then that’s cool but be sure to look at the bigger picture when it comes to his character.
Right now he seems to be showing that not only is he not very consistent but he’s fine letting days pass without talking. That could be a huge trigger and headache for you in the future should you have arguments or disagreements. You’d be stressed worrying that it’s over and/or you’ll never hear from him again.
So since you struggle with anxiety, maybe this pause between you is an opportunity to think about what kinda man you need and if he is that. To me, you the sort of guy who helps alleviate your anxiety, whether it’s through actions or simple reassurance.

[Asker]

I think so too.. I just felt like we've been having a good time every time we've hung out and to me it feels off that our texting patterns have changed.

He & I were both VERY consistent with communicating and he's never gone more than a day of not responding. Other than a few exceptions but there was always some sort of follow-up from him..

I felt like we were both getting a bit serious with each others feelings because last time we've hung out in-person we both mentioned we should delete our dating apps & that he's excited to show me around his town and his lifestyle (we live about 2hrs away but he works 30mins away from me).

Like I said, nothing in our last conversation indicated that the vibes were off. It was a normal conversation and there was no sign of pressure so I'm a little sad if he did end up ghosting me even after I sent a follow up text because I didn't think he'd be that type of guy.

I've done my fair share of dating multiple men & he was probably the first and only decent and kind person which is why I'm so bummed because I really have feelings for this guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly that sounds about normal to me when you’re first dating certain types of men. Everything is fantastic the first month or two, then you start to see his true colors, which is why I don’t advise getting too attached or investing deeply during that time.

One thing to keep in mind when dating is that even if he’s a nice person, it won’t guarantee he’d make a good boyfriend. There’s a big difference. It’s way too soon to know “what type of guy” he is, so for you two say that means you’ve already put him up on a pedestal he’s yet to earn. I say this in the nicest way but please don’t do that lol, don’t make it so easy to get into your head and heart.

Get attached to your standards, not a man, so that when a guy is acting this way then you can walk away and not have it feel like such a loss. You may feel like you struck gold with him but I promise, if he were meant for you then there will be no confusion about it. He will not be the first kind or decent man, so if this is him showing you he’s too inconsistent and disguising it as “busy” then let him go.

[Asker]

I finally did get a response and he explained why he wasn't able to text me back and we had another normal & sweet conversation. I told him, "well I was thinking about you! I would love to see you again soon" and now it's been now 2 days of no response to that text..

I thought I would feel better after finally getting a text from him & I know I'm being anxious but I'm not sure what to make of the situation since I put the ball into his court and communicated that I'd like to see him again in-person soon.

[EpicSnail]

This post reminds me so much of listening to a former friend tell me about her guy problems. Right off the bat, a red flag is that you say "we had a great time together". How do you know? You know YOU had a good time, but how do you know HE had a good time? Why are you speaking for him?

[TheMadLad]

Send him another massage that says that you’re worried and just want to know If he’s okay.

as for you, you need to get used to the Idea that he’s a first responder and he’s life is always at risk.

[Iron_Man]

Have you ever heard of ringing the guy up instead of text? Find out if the guy is safe don’t always assume it’s a break up.

[warsevf]

Sigur ros