Should I say yes?

[8UniquelyBoring8]

Okay, so; my friends with benefits of years. Would like to get married and have kids, he’s told me for years he loves me and he’s telling me he’s in love and brought me a ring and flowers tonight.
I told him leave it outside he didn’t because he said he wants to be a man and give it to me and see my reaction.
He apologized for being a player and told me he doesn’t even want to just have sex. he’s always said this but, it seemed Genuine this time

If I get a ring from him, like I’ve been telling him in order for us to have children (kinda just something I say to guys to let them know I’m serious ) and he does propose all that, should I actually say yes?
I never thought it would become serious and I don’t actually love him but, he said it himself he’s at that age where he’s ready now and just wants something serious (he's 31)
I’m (23) and I’m also at that stage but, I don’t know if it’s a good idea to marry someone knowing you don’t entirely love them.

What would you guys do?

[EricSummer]

He has been in love with you for years which is already a good thing and not to be dismissed lightly. You also get along well sexually, as you would not be friends with benefits for so long otherwise.

You say you do not love him, but what is actually missing? Could you learn to love him over the years, or would this only work with a different man?

Could you try living together for a bit? It would be good to see how far you get along in everyday life.

Also, do you want kids with him? If you both want a child together it could already be a good reason to marry.

[xColinx]

I'm seeing this kinda late but any updates on this situation?

It sounds like a really risky scenario. Maybe you can let things play out further as far as a ring or exclusive relationship or even living together, but kids or marriage... nah, don't fall into that trap.

[zeitgeist057]

I would not do it. I married a woman that I loved, but was not 100% fully into and it didn't end well. I thought like you I think, that maybe it was a good enough situation, that I should settle for 90%, for a woman that was beautiful, kind, that I loved. But I wasn't really crazy about her sexually, it was good but not amazing. And that ended up being a real difficulty in our relationship as we are both sexual people.

But enough about me, the point of that is I don't think it's a good idea, unless you are okay with ending up divorced.

I also never really had a strong passion for getting married. (damn sorry, talking about me again). But just to give you a backstory and idea about age, I was 34 and was fine with never getting married. "Getting married is just a piece of paper" but really I thought it was a fantasy and a huge commitment and I didn't want to do it unless I was going to commit and do it for life. So it was a big crash and fail and I wish I hadn't bothered. It would have been much better if we had just stayed boyfriend/girlfriend without the marriage confusing things.

At 23, what do you want? Do you want to get married? Now? Eventually? Kids? Think about your goals. How do you get there? Is it with this guy? Some other guy? Are you going to meet the guy you want to marry while being friends with benefits with this guy? I'm not being judge-y PS, just asking questions I think you should ask yourself to figure out your strategy if you even have or need one.

I would 100% NOT MARRY someone I didn't 100% love. I actually did 100% love the woman I married, it was more the sexual aspect that wasn't 100% and I thought it would be fine and it wasn't. If that wasn't enough, it sounds like you are uncertain, and a yes to a marriage proposal should always be a "YES!," never a "yes" or a "I think so, maybe, yes".

[DextroShade]

You probably should, because your options for marriage don't get better as you age and a man with options won't wait around for long. Holding out for "the one" is how many women end up dying alone. Do you have better men offering you a ring?

[8UniquelyBoring8]

Almost every guy I date, offers a ring at some point

[DextroShade]

You had best pick one before those offers dry up.

[boggboss]

I wouldn't marry someone I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with that means if someone "better" came along again it would be irrelevant as I'm committed to that person