I've never been good at dating or flirting. I've been really lonely and want to have a girlfriend, since most of my guy friends are paired up and can't hang out much. I've been told that a gentle touch on the arm or shoulder can signify interest, but I'm extremely afraid to show any kind of romantic inclination, because on the internet it seems like women are repulsed by men and anything close to showing interest is a mind scarring violation.
I did run into a girl yesterday that I knew from an event. She seemed very cordial and before she left I gently touched her arm and asked if she'd remind me of her name. She told me her name and didn't seem phased or recoil away, but I wonder if she tells people that I'm a creep who inappropriately touched her.
How would you define inappropriate touch?
What Girls Said
Arm touches are safe, usually, but keep in mind some people just don't like touch in general. Even from people they love.
Don't believe every horror story online, and don't assume every woman you meet is a Karen waiting to chomp your head off. Some are, but most aren't.
You'll get better with time and experience, but you won't grow at all if you let fear stop you from trying irl.
I personally really like touch. But as a small femme presenting person, I'm not seen as intimidating often, so small touches from me often are well-received.
I like to do touches nearer the hands for my dates - whatever seems natural and easy, without putting either of us in an awkward position (e. g. reaching across a table). Board games where you move pieces or trade cards works well.
Also remember: you can straight up just ask, especially if you feel tension but can't tell if it's mutual or they're scared.
Don't make it a demand. You're asking for consent. "Hey, I know this might be forward, but can I touch your arm?" Or something like that.
Some people love physical touch (me), some people hate it. Everyone's different, so when it doubt, ask.