Why does she like my friend instead of me?

[Anonymous]

So there’s this girl at work that literally in person gives me every sign she likes me but outside work she literally doesn’t text me or anything. At work I talk to her nicely and compliment her and everything. But she seems to like my friend that literally has never talked to her one bit like she’s just looking at him from afar like am I doing something wrong here? I’m being me and it seems like it’s not enough. I’ve asked to have lunch sometime and she said yes. I don’t want to ask her out yet because the last time I did it fast the girl was crazy and basically ruined messed with a lot. Like she seems super nice and everything and even her brother knows I like her but won’t say anything because he doesn’t wanna say anything for her. And I can accept if she never showed any attraction to me. Because not every girl will find me attractive but don’t play with my feelings that’s like lying and that’s one thing I can’t stand at all.

[Kiss_Me]

Dude... quit coming up with excuses why she is into your friend. There is a saying, "You can be bitter, or you can be better." Make the choice.

Somewhere you are failing in your dating skills. From your post, she is your FRIEND at work. Not asking her out has most likely led to her putting into the friend zone, or simply does not realize how you see her.

To increase your dating skills, remember that Google is your friend. Do some reading.

Ask the girl for a date and quit half-stepping. Find out and enjoy your date, or move on.

[strateguy632]

different "chemicals" attract various chemicals.

[thatshydork]

I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like she views you as more of a friend than anything else. Different people are just attracted to different things. For example, I tend to go for guys who are around the same height or shorter than me (I’m 5’10”), but my friends might like tall guys that tower over them. I tend to like guys who can make me laugh a lot but some people prefer people who are more serious.

[Asker]

It’s ok, I mean I’ll still treat her the same way obviously not flirting or anything unless she gives a big sign she finds me attractive. Doesn’t really help that all her friends know I like her lol because before knowing they were her friends I talked about her for a little bit lol. But I understand people want different things out of their significant other and I can’t change it whether I like it or not. Welp I guess this is somewhat good since last time I fought for a girl. Gets tough staying level headed with this stuff

[thatshydork]

Yeah I know. But breaking out of the friend zone can be done. It’s difficult and not many succeed, but it’s possible. I know because I knew quite a few of my friends in high school first became friends with their crush before they started crushing on them.

[Abdulwahh]

Girls can't always help who they fall for
Attraction is not a choice