How can I get better at just talking to women?

[Avcfhcic]

I'm 22, never had a girlfriend or any sort of relationship.
Today there was a girl who came to play football with my mates and I just suck at talking to her and women in general. I know she is out of my league but I still struggle and I don't know how to change that

[BoopBoopBeep]

No different than talking to a guy... maybe a guy at work. Don't start off with anything crass or political, like you wouldn't at work. They're just people too. Women may have it easier because we're expected to approach them, but they get nervous that they'll say something dumb and mess it up just like we are. Confidence goes a long way, as does practice, and worst case she tells you to F off. Okay. There's 8 billion people in the world. All of them won't say F off. Find that one.

[Avcfhcic]

I'm never really around women, my new job in July will be around a female work staff.
But just I find I don't know what to say to them and like today the girl I know is way too good for me and played football but I just seemed awkward and didn't really speak because I didn't know how or what

[Avcfhcic]

I just struggle to see how I'll get better and even attempt to get a girlfriend 1 day

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nobody is too good for you unless you're just morally bankrupt. You're at my place. We are having a drink by one of the fireplaces and killing time to meet some friends later. What are we talking about?

[Avcfhcic]

It depends on how we met and interests.
My friends we talk about football and gaming really.
One of my girl friends, we talk about uni and just things like that but we don't really talk anymore, she went off me

[BoopBoopBeep]

We met this morning I said I had extra tickets to a dinner tonight since my friend backed out, so I'll need a plus one for the other woman coming. Okay so you're British? Still there or went away for your schooling?

[Avcfhcic]

Just about to finish uni and start working in July.
I'm a better listener than talker so I would let the girl or your couple lead and just participate where I can. I tend to go quiet in groups.
Maybe small talk about their job hobbies or something, but I'd probably come across awkward

[BoopBoopBeep]

Where are you working? Where do you WANT to be working? Why?

jobs a good start... people picked it for a reason... find out why. That will tell you something about them. Build off that. Did they always feel that way? Hobbies too, since if you're not working you're playing. Short term goals... where do they want to be. Just go with the flow, don't make it seem like an interrogation and you'll be fine.

[Avcfhcic]

Pharmacist trainee for a year in community. I want to move into GP practice to be more clinical.

I just have no confidence and don't look good. It is worse that I'm 22 now so I've grown up with this and many studies show it's 10x harder for me to get anywhere because of my age and lack of experience

[BoopBoopBeep]

Why do you think you don't look good? I'm not going to blow sunshine up your butt maybe you don't, but is it because you're overweight, can't dress, bad acne? What are we working with now?

You've got a promising career and you'll make money. Bill Gates wasn't getting a lot of offers from Chippendale's. You'll do just fine eventually. Right now we're just trying to speed it along.

[Avcfhcic]

Bad hairline, temple receding. Bad facial hair and slightly overweight. I just say that because I never have gotten attention from women ever really and just know I'm not attractive.

I guess It's part of my life I just have never had anything happen and I want it to. I want to care for someone and actually experience it because I'm the only one in my friend group who has never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, had sex etc etc

[BoopBoopBeep]

Then pull a bruce willis and shave your head. A lot of women like that and it's at least owning it instead of the combover denial. Shave and you have no facial hair so it can't be bad. The overweight you need to work on but that's not news. You can address this stuff easy brother you just gotta want it

[Avcfhcic]

I'll see. I'd prefer an Andrew Tate look to a Matt Lucas 😂.
Lack of motivation really, many failed attempts in the past and just poor confidence and feel like no-one would want me.
Poor attitude I know but it's nature

[BoopBoopBeep]

No one wants poor attitude. That's the biggest one.

[Avcfhcic]

Just can't see an end.
I appreciate the time boop

[BoopBoopBeep]

You'll get there brother. It was a longer road for me than I would have liked. But I got there. That said, I DO actually have to get a replacement for my friend who backed out tonight, so I'm going to have to run or this ticket will go to waste... but I'm around here a lot if you want to discuss strategy.

[Avcfhcic]

Well you could just take on 2 girls at once! Enjoy your night bro.

Appreciate it but I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and the doom and gloom attitude or I will end up nowhere

[BoopBoopBeep]

Haha one's too young for my liking (grad school) and I'm afraid I've not the time to teach her all that i believe her implied innocence would require me to do ;)

Come out to the midwest we'll go on a ruckmarch and call it a boot camp weekend. In the interim, remember, it's a marathon not a sprint. Small strides add up, and eventually you'll get there.

[inhua]

rather than focus on all the words in your question, cut off the last two words and focus on that

if you can, be as attractive as possible as it'll solve so many of problems down the line when you take full advantage of the Halo Effect

[Anonymous]

I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head. It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women. A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice "It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first" I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken. I thought that was bang-on right there. and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex. It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys. He said: "Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving." That pissed me off more when I read that. Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of a long statement that changed my mindset on interactions between men and women.

[shades777]

practice